Sunday, April 5, 2020
End of the hand shake? Hopefully!
I was listening to a radio host and she was talking about the ways society will probably change after this pandemic. One thing she felt would happen is the end of people shaking hands as a greeting, plus also the kiss or double cheek kiss. I say yay! The only person kissing me in normal situations should be my boyfriend. Anyone else is stepping into my personal space. Mostly however I want to talk about handshakes.
Yes ban them, it's not like we all live in the same village anymore. Also a handshake doesn't mean a thing to most people these days, we are just going through the motions of being raised to do that. People are mobile enough now that you could be shaking the hand of a doctor who just flew in from a third world country battling some terrible disease.. or at the moment, a city hospital filled with people who caught C19.
When I was a child, I was told by my parents to give a quick but firm, friendly handshake. However what I receive in return is not what I would call a warm welcome some times. My list of 5 terrible hand shakers in no particular order.
1) The "wet noodle handshake". Ugh... I hate that one. They put their hand out but when you take hold of it, there is a feeling like the person has no strength left or they have no bones in their hand! I always wonder to myself why did they bother in the first place? Also in this category, the slimy handshake, almost like they slip their hand through your hand. Like holding an eel or wet fish.
2) The, "I don't know when to let go of your hand", handshake. That's the person who shakes your hand but won't give it back. They keep talking to you and holding on to your hand, maybe even shaking it from time to time while making a point. Like they are trying to form some, back in the 1950s style bond with you. No!
3) The, "I couldn't care less about meeting you", handshake. That's the person you are introduced to who acts like they are embarrassed to meet you or that you are currently wasting their time. They look all around for something better to do than greet you.
4) The fake-out handshake, some person (almost always a man) feels that it's a real ice breaker to try and be a comedian. They put their hand out and at the last second move it around when you go to take it or they smooth their hair etc. What? Are you still twelve years old? Do you think by making a person feel awkward for some laughs they are going to like you. The first thing I think is "immature".
5) This is the worst. The, "I never wash my hands, even after going number two.. or I coughed into my hand just seconds before and even though I know you saw me, I expect you not to react" handshake. What the.. no, no, not happening. I don't care if I offend you and start a global war! I'm not shaking your hand! I think you are a selfish careless pig! Unfortunately there are many people like this (mostly men) and they are everywhere!
I for one would not be sad to see shaking hands go out the window. It's a phony greeting now anyway and I can tell most people dislike doing it. I think it's safer to nod our heads and say, "s'up bro". Seriously though a cheerful "hello nice to meet you" is good enough, plus it would spread a lot less germs.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 9:13 PM
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Honey, you need to find a sunbeam to bask in! I was never taught to shake hands. I an take it or leave it. Since marrying, however, I've become a hug whore. I suppose those will be out too. What will we face touching, nail biting hug whores do? Well, it's almost six-thirty. I'm going to take my coughing, sniffling tired butt to bed. Hugs, sweetie :)
Like my DeeDahLahDiDah, I am a hugger with friends and family,.
Those I don't know well? Maybe the elbow bump?
But don't ask me not hug my loved ones and closest friends.
I'm a hugger! I hug everyone, especially straight policemen who work in my gay city. Now, as far as not the same village, that should include Canadians who bring the flu with them every winter to South Florida.
your post should make the mistress pleased. he doesn't even like his boyfriends touching him let alone strangers. he's always had a 6' social distance rule. the battle of good verse evil starts again...
This one I will weep to see go. It is a time honored way men are allowed to interact with each other - one of the few times we can touch each other (oh the importance of touch!) Still if the Japanese can bow and do well with it we in the west can try.
Ugh, the slimy limp fish handshake is the WORST. I always judge that person to be an untrustworthy dick, and you know, that assessment is never wrong. The other kind of handshake I hate is the "I deign to allow you to touch me, peasant" when then extend a couple of fingers, shake quickly (often also being a slimy limp fish) and then pull back. Such a handshaker is a total bitch and, again, I am never wrong.
I agree this may go the way of the dinosaurs. No more closing a deal with a handshake unless it’s followed by both parties taking out their travel hand sanitizers.
I think the only time we’ll see touch is with close friends and family. It’s funny, I’m from a family of six boys. We never hugged each other when we met, until my mother died. Then we always hugged, even my father. It’s like a switch was flipped and we suddenly needed that more personal connection.
I wish somethings would return to normal. Handshakes I can do without but still would like to be able to hold someone again.
Deedles, well if I ever got to meet you, I would be hurt if you didn't hug me! The difference is I know your expressions of affection are true.
Bob, I never mentioned people we know, that's completely different, the affection is usually real. Plus if a friend ever made the mistake of giving me a mushy handshake, I'm calling them out on it!
Jimmy, be careful hugging straight police men, they might really like it and their gun could go off!
As for Canadians supposedly bringing down the flu (and tourist dollars), when we see your governor telling people to go ahead and attend church while New York is dying, we feel that says a lot.
Miss Moorecock, seriously I try to keep you out of trouble but you never learn. You know the Mistress is going to see this and will plan for your punishment accordingly. If you think staying inside will save you, her memory for vengeance is very very long! Hahaha!
Dr Spo, my memory reminds me that you are an expert hugger. A good authentic warm hug! We will create a special badge for you to wear, this will allow you to shake hands or hug.
Debra, thanks for playing along! Yes you also gave perfect examples of other bad handshakes! I totally agree with your findings. I never understand why the negative hand shakers, are often the ones to initiate the hand shake!
HuntleyBiGuy, I find as well that as men age, we let our guards down with close male friends and family members and become more affectionate. I have no problem with touching people we know.. as long as they are also okay with it.
Bathwater, like the song says, "if we could turn back time". Sorry I probably put that earworm in your head now. I could really use a hug right now. :(..
The wet noodle is the WORST. Really.
I think that after this pandemic the good old handshake may be put aside for awhile. At least until everybody gets vaccinated. Maybe a generation.
We are gonna end up hugging only our dear and close. And I’m not mad about it.
Don't hold me responsible for our governor. He is Covid45's tax meal ticket in Florida. The dumb motherfucker. The only reason he was elected was because the guy running against him was black. From Orland north in Florida, it's like Alabama or Georgia. Referred to as 'pork chop country'.
How's your boyfriend today?
I think you missed the one where they squeeze your hand tight enough to cut off circulation because they're really attempting to show their superiority. And to be honest, it actually depends upon what the guy looks like.
Sixpence, I don't think we will even stand in the same room until there is a vaccine!
Jimmy, really??? I didn't know Florida.. or parts of it were that racist! Sorry to hear that. COVID45 sadly that's a good one to stick on him. That man is going senile or is starting dementia I swear every time I hear him speak.
Boyfriend is in better spirits today thank you.
Dave yes that's another one but I haven't had that happen in years.
In my country, especially in the area I lived since we were children, we were all taught to shake hands with each other every time we met and when we gathered at an event. But after the corona pandemic broke out, including in my country ..., handshake events were banned. Instead, we only smiled at one another.
Greetings from Indonesia
Hello Himawan Sant, welcome! Yes sadly it is the same here, we just wave to each other now. Before it became really bad, we were touching elbows and some people were touching shoes. Stay safe over there.
I wouldn't mind saying goodbye to the handshake. I do think once this pandemic ends (if it ever does) things will be done differently.
Michael, yes this pandemic will end. Unfortunately it could take two years but it will come to an end. I think life will change for normal people, the people with their heads in the sand will try to pretend like nothing happened.
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