Saturday, March 7, 2020
Yes, it's a miracle, I'm dating.
Time to let the cat out of the bag as they say. Yes I'm seeing someone, I have met a guy I like. I didn't want to blog about it because I wasn't sure how this was going to go. I've had my share of disasters and I just didn't want people feeling sorry for me if it ended after one or two dates. It feels very "right" I have no confusion regarding this man, there are no thoughts of "do I really like him" or "am I settling for him" none of those thoughts cross my mind, more like "holy cow, is this real"? I'm completely a wreck before each date because this guy does an absolute number on me by just being around me. I'm enjoying these moments, I never thought I would feel this way again.
I will give you more details later, I'm going to a party this afternoon at my neighbour's house so for now I'm just letting you people know. This all came with my usual Mr Bean moments however, like me on my way to our first official date and "POW" a flat tire on a cold, wind blown day. I called him to cancel and then after I hung up I said many many many many many many many very very dirty filthy bad words... many of them. At other times we would have snow storm warnings and we would have to cancel our plans. In frustration I would call him and we would talk for hours, it would feel like minutes but it would be hours.
I have to mention another Mr Bean moment that happened last night, it was awkward for a few minutes but fortunately sent us into giggles. He's a really sweet guy and decent. I thanked him yesterday for making this experience romantic and not cheap like a hook up. I want to feel comfortable going forward by making sure I'm not bringing anything "unwanted" into this relationship, yesterday I was looking up the hours of sexual health clinics to get tested. Many of the clinics have in the titles M4M on the websites. Later that evening after dinner, he suggested we go to a museum, this way we could do something where we get to be together and casually chat. I was thinking that museums close at 5:00 and since he had forgot his phone at home we were using my phone. As we typed in "m" for museums, my phone being ever so helpful, began opening up sites like "m4m SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES!!! Male SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS!!! Men HAVING SEX with men, PERVERTED DISEASED SEX FREAKS NAMED STEVE!!!!!
There was a moment of silence, I began to explain and he started laughing, he said not to worry that he thinks it's a good idea. Well at least it did open the door to that discussion on the way home and he was pretty open about everything. I think that's a healthy way to start off.
We are going to spend Sunday together, it's supposed to be a beautiful day. I'm just going to enjoy this part of my journey, it's only new, everyone has their quirks, I have to figure out his (plus minimize mine lol). I'm trying not to worry about a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. Have a good Saturday folks! :D