Friday, March 20, 2020

And in today's news, COVID-19!


"Good evening everyone, in today's news  COVID-19, COVID-19 COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID and COVID-19. Now over to you Janice!"

 "Thanks Bill, well it looks like COVID-19 COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID-19. Now we will check in with weather. What's the forecast for the weekend looking like Mike?"

 "Well in spite of COVID-19, mostly rain and chances of snow. In other words Janice.. a perfect weekend to stay inside and hide in terror from COVID-19. Sunday will have a little more sunshine but with COVID-19 you are taking a risk going out and possibly becoming infected with COVID-19 and later dying of COVID-19. Sunday could be a good day for us to practise social distancing from COVID-19. Back to you Bill."

 "Thanks Mike, in other news science has learn something new about COVID-19, COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID-19. Now a look at sports with Matt Ballsac. Matt?"

 "Thank you Bill, the NBA has shut down all games due to COVID-19. Some of the players are in quarantine due to COVID-19. In other news the NHL have cancelled all games due to COVID-19 and one player has tested positive for COVID-19. There was an announcement today that COVID-19 will probably cause the cancellation of the summer Olympics. In other sports news one official is quoted as saying, "aaaaaahh! Aaahhh! It's COVID-19!" Now back to you Bill!"

 "Thank you Matt, coming up we will talk to a doctor about COVID-19 and also our financial segment will explain how COVID-19 is destroying everyone's retirement savings. Then COVID-19 COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID. First let's check in with Sarah for your weekend entertainment."

 "Thanks Bill, well this weekend would have saw some interesting movies coming out of Hollywood, if COVID-19 hadn't screwed everything up. All theatres will be closed due to COVID-19. This week in music also sees all concerts and festivals closing down due to COVID-19, basically go home because of COVID-19, lock your doors and watch tv for a year. Over to Janice!"

 "Thank you Sarah, and now this breaking COVID-19 news.. it seems that the world famous writer of this blog has released a statement. In it he is quoted as saying... I look forward to a day when no one has to hear the flipping word [COVID-19] on the news anymore!!!" Stay safe everyone!

28 comments:

"Tommy" said...

Stay Safe Mr. Man..... up there in the North Land

Anitia Moorecock said...

what's this covid -19 you speak of?

anne marie in philly said...

our state gov shut down my and my spouse's offices today. spouse is able to work from home. at my office, the 7 of us are going into the office by ourselves 1 day per week to keep things running.

Deedles said...

In lighter news, Deedles has a slight fever and UTI. Oh happy, happy day!

Bob said...

When you what the idiots are saying, I'd rather be more informed than less.

Jimmy said...

My husband is home until at least mid April. He wonders if we'll survive each other. Fucking Covid-19.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yeah, jeez, isn't anybody killing anybody else anymore? C'mon criminals, reclaim your place at the top of the news!

Ur-spo said...

You stay safe as well my handsome.

Hot guys said...

Haha, I kinda giggled at the spam of the viruses name. I mean, you are 100% right, though. It's everywhere. And in all media too. Crazy, just crazy.

RJ said...

I can only listed to a few minutes of the news before I'm overwhelmed.

HuntleyBiGuy said...

Priceless, Steven. We could use a little levity right now. Went to the mega mart to shop and a line to get in before they opened and a line to checkout. Oh happy days. Stay safe, sir.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Tommy, I'm trying to, scary times.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Why you little brat!!! No wonder the mistress has to spank your bottom! I think you are about due for another!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, yes these are different times for sure. Also, did something happen to your blog? I can't leave a comment.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, well I hope my Deedly Doodles feels better soon. I had to google UTI, I didn't know what that meant. Here's three more letters.. TMI.. hahaha! :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, yes true but sometimes I have to turn everything off, too much coverage of the same information over and over!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, yes I completely agree with your description of the disease.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra, I bet Ottawa city council is at least happy that their 3 billion dollar light rail system that NEVER works, is not the top story. Of course no body is working so the trains are running smoothly.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, I'm trying to. Some days it feels like the world ended and the gods forgot me here alone.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Hot guys, well thank you for helping me get my mind off the world for a few minutes! ; )

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, yes overwhelmed is a good description.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

HuntleyBiGuy, yes I was trying to be silly and vent towards this stupid virus at the same time. No more going out for you mister, stay home and watch pornhub!!! Hahaha! Joking... not joking.
;D

Travel said...

I am avoiding the news in my self imposed isolation.

Mistress Maddie said...

I watch news once a day in the evening and that's it. I still haven't been out anywhere, as Im well stock with gin and food and gin. I go for my run around the lake which is 5 miles, and walk Buster two times and that's it. I have to admit, the quiet outside as been nice. Just complete nature.

Dave R said...

I've just started calling it "The virus," it has less ring and more panache.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I didn't listen to the news today. I haven't seen a person for days. There's not much more I can do.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Penguin's daddy, (lol). I skipped it today, things are scary enough.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dave, I've been calling it "that stupid virus".