Thursday, January 2, 2020
Desire, as in I desire your affection.
Getting back to my love life, or lack of love life, I'm still getting messages from Mr Right... now. A few weeks ago I had my breath taken away by him. He was getting ready to leave a party and was talking to the host. I suddenly saw him as the young man he once was. He was standing in the shadows and the darkness hide his age, it made his white locks look blonde, he still has a great head of hair. He kept doing that sexy thing guys used to do way back when, roughly run his hand through his hair from front to back, letting it all fall into place. At 6'2 he is a tall man. I could see the echo of the younger version of him.
It caught me off guard, I couldn't help think of an eighteen years old me, meeting up with this twenty something young man years ago and getting together. He like me however; couldn't accept his attraction to men, so he married a woman and had three children. Divorced now, he doesn't want to be out and about completely just yet.
It's nice to be desired, it's nice to be found attractive but... I wish he would think of me at other times than just when he is feeling horny. I don't think he realizes that he wants more, I wish he would just let himself go and follow his heart, I think he is only listening to below the belt.
As luck would have it, another gentleman is interested in me, unfortunately it's that age old problem, the guy that likes me, I have absolutely no attraction towards, typical! He started sending messages and I have to do that thing where I stay aloof, so that I don't seem unfriendly but at the same time I do not encourage any further connection, also gay or straight, I need to let him preserve his ego. Sometimes when a man likes another man, he can be a little relentless.
I'm tired of being alone, I received an invitation to a party over the holidays and it read, "since your revelation to us, just know that going forward all our invitations to you are automatically 'bring a friend' for all events". I found that really sweet and there is nothing I would love more than to show up with a friend to an event. The thing is, it has to be someone that desires a connection with me and not just desires me.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 5:55 PM
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The way you describe the guy at the party, he may not have many 'horny' days left! There is nothing wrong with test driving and older model. Jump on it!
Maybe I'm reading these "lovelorn" posts of yours wrong. It seems to me that you aren't attracted to the guys who want the same things that you want. My sister was never attracted to nice guys. She married three times to abusive men. The last one killed her. Get a dog and a blow up doll, honey. Uh, oh, I just became Old Lurker!
Get a dog and a blow up doll, honey.
No wait. Don't do that. I acknowledge that falling in love with dangerous people can get you killed, but I do not get the sense that you fall for bad boys.
Instead of a dog and blow up doll go on some platonic dates with Mr. Horny. Get to know each other better with your clothes on. (Or your clothes off, but not in the hanky-panky way.) If he is reluctant to get back to you because he is not horny then wait for him to get horny, and then use that leverage to get him to agree to a platonic date before he gets to touch your luscious eyebrows.
As for the guy who is crushing on you: either give him a chance or let him go. Don't string him along. That is just cruel. If that bruises his ego then so be it -- his ego is going to get bruised one way or the other.
Wow. That seems like a lot of work. Maybe getting a dog and a blow up doll would be more straightforward.
Jimmy, I don't mean he's past his "best before" date, I just meant I had a glimpse of what he probably looked like at 25. Of course I'm giving him a try, I've jumped on it a couple of times already and it was an awesome ride! Hahaha!
Deedles, yes you are reading the posts completely wrong. Definitely I have no attraction to bad boys, I wouldn't put up with garbage. No again the man who seems more inclined to a relationship... looks almost like an older woman, there is just no attraction to him of any kind for me. The other guy looks a little like a young Kenny Rogers only taller, so very much a masculine look. That's all I mean.
Lurker, I'm trying to be careful towards the other man's feelings, so when I get a message, I just say hello or thank you or just a few words. Definitely not stringing him along. I don't put up with bad boys, I find them immature and boring to be honest.
Oh dear, I explained myself wrong again. I wasn't saying that you are attracted to bad boys, I was saying it seems like the ones who have the traits you like you are not attracted to physically. It's a conundrum. My sister was an extreme version of being attracted to the opposite type of men she said she wanted. I don't know, never having dated myself, except for BH. I have always been attracted to a person's personality first, the sex came much later. I shouldn't be giving advice at all, to tell you the truth. I'll leave now.
Don't leave! I'm sorry! This is worse than when Steven quit blogging for the rest of 2019!
I think there are plenty of hot guys who will be mutually attracted to Steven. He just has not found them yet.
Deedles, I'm not really hung up on looks, how someone carries themselves, sense of humor, how they treat others is really important to me, that is usually enough for me actually. However there are men that just don't look like a man, some have an almost female look to them. I feel nothing towards them. I think a lot of gay men are like me even though they won't admit it. These guys are great guys but are probably still single because they don't fit a standard people are looking for. I know what it's like to be in a relationship where the guy is good for me but I'm not attracted to them, I will never do that again.
Lurkey, you funny man... you are climbing up the favorites list as well!
In other words, you're only invited to these parties as long as you bring a friend? That kind of exclusivity is not for me.
So, what is stopping you from contacting the 6’2” hunk-a hunk of burning love and asking to meet for coffee on a Saturday afternoon? You’ve then taken the initiative and set the time for a pleasant conversation and exploration. Not that people don’t take a roll in the sheets mid-day, but it sets the expectations.
If you don’t ask for what you want, you’ll never know if it’s possible.
I wonder if the guy that is interested in you, and you are not feeling the same, might just like a friend … and maybe he can introduce you to Mister Right?
Open all the doors and see what you find; it could be wonderful!
Dave, no you read that wrong, I certainly wouldn't use the word "sweet"! What the host was saying is that whenever I am invited... any guy that I may be seeing at the time is automatically invited as well. They were just letting me know they support me.
HuntleyBiGuy, I've tried that but usually he is busy, he wants a buddy to hook up with and that's okay, he's a nice guy, I just wish he wanted more.
Bob, I have come to the conclusion that the second I'm nice to any gay man, they automatically think we are dating, even when I repeatedly tell them we are friends, they still think that we are dating and I'm in denial about it.
Stevie, I woke up this morning feeling bad and low down. No, I am not writing a country song. I realized that my comments sounded rude and judgmental. I didn't mean them that way, really. It is so hard sometimes to express tone in writing. I was going to delete my words, but then Lurkster and you would both sound kind of loopy replying to me :) I sincerely apologize for any hurt my words have caused. All I ask is that you let me come back. Lurkster needs me!
Deedles, you're worrying for nothing, thank you for the apology but this door is always open to you. I could see how you took it the wrong way, I wasn't clear in my explanation. I'm also aware that you have days of highs and lows so I'm cool with that reality... noooo worries, (please send hugs :D lol). The truth is there are many many different types of men that I am attracted to, I actually like flaws in a guy, they can be cute, there are a few types however that just completely don't work for me, I can't get past it. I think everyone has an anti type.
I'd spend time with Mr. Right Now. He may realized that you are Mr. Right and something may develop.
Richard, I'm trying to cast my Steven spell over him, hopefully he won't know what hit him!
Deedles: you have a long way to go before you are rude or judgmental. Your concerns are completely authentic -- some of us have terrible taste in men, and it gets us in trouble. (But I still do not get the sense that Steven is in that category, except for the masc 4 masc and "no fats, no femmes" stuff.)
You aren't allowed to go away because Steven relies on your grandma hugs to get through the day.
I think you should listen to Huntley and get your hunka burning love in an afternoon coffee shop some time. If he has time to hook up with you he has a half hour to socialize sometime.
Lurker, I know you are just being a brat... BRAAAAAT... brat but don't say that, there are plenty of fem guys and husky guys that push all my buttons and some masc guys are too full of themselves and are a turn off. I don't want some person to read this and feel judged.
Maybe if I agree to sex at the coffee shop and trick him into coming!
I am with Richard on this. Go ahead and cast your Steven spell!
Michael, I think he has the antidote to my spell! Hahaha!
It's never a dull moment up there for you. I think you should come visit Palm Springs in March with us.
Dr Spo, do they have cute men there? :D
I mean besides us!
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