Wednesday, July 3, 2019

No peeking... maybe.


 Old habits die hard I guess but it's funny how growing up in a straight world will shape a gay person. I happen to click on a blog and there were pictures of nude men, big grins on their faces, displaying the goods. My first reaction is to look away or be startled. Years of "training" still to this day will kick in, a picture of a naked man is bad, weird... even gross. Unlike a picture of a naked woman, that's totally normal and just part of life.  Especially when only men are around, then you can even display them, actually you become the weirdo if you have a problem with it.

 I still for a split second have to tell myself, "it's ok to look, you're gay, the guy wants you to look, that's why he posed for the pictures". I feel like I'm invading his privacy, like I'm doing something wrong. It only lasts now for a nano second but it's still there.

 Mowing the lawn on Monday I was doing some deep thinking, it's a good time to deep think, the job is mundane, I have ear plugs in and fortunately I have a riding mower. The thought suddenly occurred to me, "geepers" how crazy is this whole straight-gay thing! From being bullied to the places where people are killed for being gay. I'm defined as a homosexual, I hate that label. I'm just a guy named Steven, I'm not "a homosexual". I do all the same day to day crap as most people and just because of who I love or how I want to have sex, then I have to be placed in a different category from most other people, even looked at as a second class human by some. I'm not homosexually mowing the lawn, feeding the cat or going to work. I'm not different from other people and yet I am; however everybody is different in their own unique way. How did one little thing turn us into these monsters lurking in the shadows.

21 comments:

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

It’s OTHER people who see us a gay. They define us by who we love.
As you say, you’re not gaily mowing the fucking lawn. You’re just mowing it. Some people (usually the religulous or the idiots) need to divide people in subgroups so they can make them fit the narrow definitions they have of what being human is. Some say it’s human nature, but people need to be socialized and indoctrinated to think like that.
Isn’t that funny that for us to see naked men IS the rule? I can’t remember the last time I looked at naked women...

XoXo

Mistress Maddie said...

Anyone with intelligent and being well rounded sees the difference. And head to believe, but the number who accepts gay people is out weighing the number that doesn't.

Richard said...

We are not monsters. Just men who happen to like men. How cool is that?

Bob said...

First off, when I see a picture of a nekkid woman, I don't think that's normal at all.
Now, a naked man? Show me the full,um, layout?
I have been very clear that there's a difference between 'I am a gay man' and 'I am a man who is gay.'
It's those "others"--the haterz, bigots, and homophobes--who make being gay the thing about us.
We don't have an issue; they do.
And, like Maddie said, there are fewer and fewer of them every day.

Old Lurker said...

Weren't you the one complaining that your favorite retailers did not stock rainbow pillowcases the other day?

Being homosexual is a social construct prompted by biological cues. The biological cue is that you look at Cali-Boi and have funny feelings inside. The social construct is that you interpret those feelings as being homosexual. If you want, you can change that construct. Perhaps you would be a good candidate to be a post-gay. You already have the lawn and the picket fence. All you need now is to practice rolling your eyes when others act flamboyantly around you.

Jimmy said...

You are second class if you believe you're second class.

Michael said...

Anne Marie said it....the haters hate because they don't understand it or fear it. I think of myself as simply "me", not "gay me."...and that's the way I like it. Being gay is just a piece of who I am.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, fortunately I see the haters as damaged people, they actually want to stay stupid and surround themselves with other damaged thinkers.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, I will look at a naked woman when one comes up, usually I think "nice body but yup... I'm sooo gay". People do seem to have a need to divide us live in tension.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, yes you are right and many of the younger people see homophobia on the same level as racism.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, very cool unless you are Debra... lol. The monsters are the ones out to hurt us.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob exactly, they are the ones making a mountain out of a molehill. Well unless it's pride parade day, then the rainbows hit the fan!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yes, I have my own tastes, thank you very much. And damn you, Old Lurker, now I want rainbow pillowcases.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Lurker, yes but I wasn't mowing the lawn when I wrote that.

The thing is Lurky, people didn't pay attention to the fact I'm Irish heritage, a ginger, Catholic etc etc, but this is supposed to make me different.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, sometimes I feel like I am, something to work on I know but just being honest.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael, me too... it's just part of who Steven is, not all of who Steven is.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra, me too on the pillow cases! I generally speak about gay men because that's my life experience; however I always am including the rest of the people in the LGBTQ community regarding comments on discrimination etc.

Old Lurker said...

I'm pretty sure people on this blog pay attention to the fact that you are a ginger.

Certainly Irish heritage is a social construct too, and one that would have been much more controversial just a century ago. "No blacks or Irish", anyone? If it isn't one criterion that divides us then it has to be another.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Lurker, yes human nature is terrible like that but when you really think about it... it's completely stupid. We should be genetically geared to attract leaders that do a shh.. terrible job, that would have more benefits. I am a ginger, although the curtains are looking more brown these days, plus a lot of the threads have unravelled! Lol :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

That was attack leaders and I guess spell check didn't like my meaning and changed it.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Stupid spell check :\