Sunday, November 18, 2018
The Penetrating Words of Kindness.
Often when something negative happens, I can become too focused on the moment. I try not to do that but I'm human, I have a hard time letting things go, it doesn't help to have my very own negative peanut gallery in the back of my mind. Those little nagging voices that try to convince me that I'm a total buffoon in everything I do and say. Fortunately as I get older I can command, "quiet" to the voices.
I need to focus on the positive and recently I have had some really kinds words spoken to me that caught me off guard in a good way. I often drive a coworker home, a young Sikh man, he moved here from India and has no family in Canada. I can imagine how lonely that would be and sometimes I feel like an older cousin that has to look out for him. He is really easy to talk to, we joke and laugh all the way to his place, many times we also have deep discussions as well. I am glad that he is starting to come out of his shell at work, I wanted other people to see what a kind, decent plus comical guy he really is. One night we were laughing at the pranks a mutual friend pulls on us at work, then he said, "I like talking with you and Mark, you guys don't make me feel like I'm different from everyone else, I feel like we're the same". I had a total "awww" moment, I said "you are the same to me, I don't see you any different". He went on to say that some people can't get past the fact that he wears a turban.
A few days ago one of my uncles came to visit, we were never close but I think he is getting sentimental as he ages. He is my father's younger brother and likes to come visit at least once a year to see the place and bring back old childhood memories, more so now knowing that one day I will sell the farm. He was asking about mom and then suddenly looked at me and said, "your dad would be so proud of you for the way you are looking out for your mom, really proud of you". I didn't know what to say, I was caught off guard, my family never says things like this. To be honest I always feel like I'm not doing enough and that I could do better. I think I needed to hear those words, not because I want praise for a job that I should be doing but because they help me get through the hard times.
This weekend someone said something sweet that was just off the cuff but spoke volumes. The other night I was asked by someone to come for supper, when I went over I joked about him not clearing it with his wife first and just showing up for supper with a neighbour in tow. She laughed and said, "it's not the same when it's you showing up, you're not just a neighbour, you're like family".
I had a few other really kind words said to me in the last weeks, I guess I'm not a total jerk, maybe some people even like me (lol). I try to say positive things to other people, maybe life is giving back with interest.