Monday, July 30, 2018
Now "I" was the jerk!
I am lazy about blogging, I think it's because of it being summer and there are outside things I should be doing. I'm so useless now compared to what I could get done ten years ago.
This time I was a big fat insensitive jerk! I have been communicating with a couple of guys that I am interested in dating, two I have met so far. What I failed to pay attention to, was one guy I had become friends with, he is a little odd, a little geeky not someone I see myself dating. However he is really excited to have made a gay friend. I know he is lonely, he is older than me and is not fully out.
This guy is an open book with me, clearly he wants a friendship and maybe more. Unlike the other guys who make me feel like I'm pulling teeth to get a response from them at times, he sends me long emails and usually promptly after I send him one. The other day he sent me an email telling me more about what his interests are, questions about me, my interests etc, etc. I was meeting and chatting with the other guys and forgot to reply for a...... week! He then sent me an email saying he can read between the lines, that I wasn't that interested in knowing him, he was sorry to have bothered me and he wished me luck. Oh boy did I feel like dog doo, he was partly right, I did find him a little annoying but at any other time, I would have embraced the friendship.
I did some major butt kissing and apologizing, I never want to make someone feel less than appreciated, quirks or no quirks, he is a nice guy and deserved better from me. I was thinking about how hurt I would feel if a new friend brushed me aside for someone else. I confided in another blogger (who I trust) and he confirmed that I was garbage and I should feel like the pile of garbage I am, (lol you can claim your chastising if you're brave enough).
Anyway I'm in the works to meet this guy and who knows, life being as strange as it is, maybe this will turn out to be my future husband. The point of this post however is I'm a jerk, a big fat mean jerk.