Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Truth is Not Blunt, it's True.
Autism and sexuality are not two words that most people would put together. Children with autism however become adults with autism and many of these adults are fully functional members of today's society. Being an adult comes with adult desires and hopefully adult relationships.
I stumbled upon some articles written about autism and sexuality and I found it very interesting. Many people with autism are very blunt with their answers or should I say, they are very honest with their answers. They will often answer truthfully not feeling a need to be dishonest. For instance an autistic friend may tell you that a shirt looks terrible on you, while another friend would lie, saying it looked great on you, so as not to hurt your feelings even though they also felt the shirt looked terrible. I found it really interesting then when autistic people were asked about their sexuality, regarding heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. It seems 70% of autistic people didn't identify as heterosexual; however many also didn't want to be placed in the other groups, they felt the labels had limitations on their sexuality.
I found that groundbreaking and it had me thinking. Now of course in the articles, the people doing the studies wondered if autism had some effect on sexuality and maybe it does, I am certainly not an expert. I found it groundbreaking because if people with autism are known for blurting out the truth, maybe they just spilled a secret that society has been hiding.
Maybe most people have a fluid sexuality and have been taught to keep that hidden. We are certainly starting to see more members of society open up about these issues. We are also starting to understand more and more people don't fit into the heterosexual mold. Like the guys I had been emailing with, everyone in their lives, thinks that they are straight family men, yet they are not. However they have explained to me that they do not see themselves as bisexual either. At first I thought maybe they were just confused but now I understand them more and I don't know what you would call them. I had to work out where I belonged in the world of sexuality, I'm certainly not going to try and shove a label onto someone who feels that category doesn't fit them.
If the people involved with the study were just your average Joe, they may not be aware of the hidden world of sexuality that is everywhere. That could be the problem because like the ugly shirt question, the people with autism are just speaking truthfully about the things the rest of us are keeping hidden.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 11:17 PM
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Interested survey of adults with autism. After you've put it that way, it makes perfect sense.
I was bisexual for all of two weeks! At least that's what I told myself. I had had two long term relationships with women and performed as expected: I scored technical points in the short program but received low scores in the long program. Can I blame the East German judges? When I came out, gay was a relatively new term. Because I didn't understand the political and social implications, I was hesitant to adopt the term. I still identify as homosexual even though they tell me it's a bad word. Now, at this stage in life, there isn't much chance I'll be testing my actual position on the spectrum between hetero and homo.
At my last gig, my work son was on the spectrum. He knew I was gay and called me father. The lesbian on my team was mother. He liked to go to gay bars because the guys were nice and bought him drinks. He's a very handsome young man. I often wondered if he had ever been with a guy but that conversation was suitable for the workplace.
RJ: Which spectrum? Autism or sex?
I'm not autistic but I can appreciate that the noise in a bar could be distressing. It is for me.
This is an interesting idea. I am not sure I believe it, but I would be open to evidence. Apparently people on the autistic spectrum are also significantly more likely to be trans.
Mike - the Autism spectrum. He was on the mild end.
Mike, I was never confused, I always knew I'm gay, it just took me a long time to accept it. I have no problem with gay or homosexual, it's what my attractions are, I have no attraction to women or men who look like women.
RJ, years ago I sometimes looked after a little boy with autism, he was very cute and grew up very handsome, unfortunately he is in his own world. That is why I get so enraged when I read on dating sites how guys encourage other guys to take advantage of gay men with autism, even bragging that it's easy to trick them into not using condoms. Makes me sick.
Mike, I hate being in a bar or restaurant where the music is so loud, you can't talk. You end up yelling into a person's ear and miss every other sentence.
Mr Lurker, you have to believe everything I say or you will be banned from this blog, them's the rules! Well at least it sounded good in my head. It just made me wonder if people didn't feel that they have to hide their true sexuality, how different would things be. I remember then my city first started having pride parades, thousands and thousands showed up for support. I can't believe they all were straight people there to support gay friends.
RJ, I understood what you meant, Mike made me giggle a little, like some young gay person adopted you two as surrogate gay parents, which actually wouldn't be that bad of an idea.
Oh my goodness! How could I have been so blind? You are correct in this and everything else you write!
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