Yesterday I had to go into the city for tax related purposes, it didn't take too long and soon I was on my way home again. I happened to pass by an arena that reminded me of my friend Eric, the straight guy that I first came out to. We had gone shopping together nearby and it made me think about him. I have been thinking a lot about him lately and I often meant to call him. We had actually been getting close, probably as close to another guy as I ever got. The friendship became even stronger after I came out to him, because now I had a male friend who knew the whole me and still wanted to be friends. Everything changed when I started dating, there was less time for him unfortunately, then dad got sick, then I moved away, then mom got sick, then life happened.
I tried to keep in touch but eventually we drifted and to be honest, it was mostly my fault. I really missed the guy, sometimes I don't know what was wrong with me, why I let that friendship go. As I was driving home I was about to pass the highway that leads to his town, when that little voice in the back of my mind said, "let's go visit Eric"! It was after two in the afternoon so I wouldn't be interrupting lunch and if he had guests I could just keep on driving.
Things looked different, it's probably been nine
years since I was at his place. I recognized the landscape of all things. I knocked and his wife answered. He was so glad to see me, he hasn't changed much, a little grey up top. I joked that I was hoping he was bald and fat so that I could tease him. He is one of those friends that you may not see for a while but you just click so well with, that it feels like last week since you saw each other. We exchanged new stories to get caught up, we laughed at old stories, we get each other's humour or should I say "lack" of humour. I didn't want to impose too much since I had just dropped in unannounced but he kept asking me to stay a little longer. He was actually a little excited to see me I think. When we were finally saying our last goodbyes, I said "I kinda miss you" and he said, "well don't stay away so long"! That's what I like about being gay, I can say I miss you or I love you and people don't panic, I guess they feel there might be a hidden agenda if a straight guy says it.
Step one, reach out to an old friend, step two, after positive result don't be a dumbass and lose it again, step three, hang on like a mouse trap! It's a little strange but I am starting to think some people actually like me.