Monday, April 9, 2018

Wild in Bed!

 Apparently I'm pretty wild in bed, the evidence is undeniable. Unfortunately I don't remember any of what happens because I am asleep when the shenanigans is going on. Now I know many of my readers have a dirty mind and I really appreciate that in a reader, but it's not what you think.

 Each night when I go to bed, I like to be toasty warm, keeping in mind that it's still pretty cold here, we haven't had spring yet. I get in my nicely made bed which consists of a flannel blanket, two wool blankets and a comforter on top. All the colour stripes and silky edges line up nicely, I snuggle in and think dirty thoughts about movie stars until I fall asleep. At some point in the night I wake up feeling cold... and hot.... and cold all at the same time. Usually I am half asleep and try to adjust myself and the blankets to feel warm enough again to return to sleep. It's a no go, I feel cold on my back while another part of me is sweating.

 I get up, turn on the light and behold the wonder of the blanket dance that I seem to perform while I'm sleeping. The flannel blanket is either bunched up into a rope across the top of my bed or across the bottom. The wool blankets are no longer lined up, they are often turned cross ways from each other and the comforter is half way onto the floor. I don't know if I'm dreaming about being at a wedding and we are trying to do the macarena or what is going on. I was never like this before, I'm thinking about using my upholstery stapler and fastening the blankets to the bed, I could just slide in each night, although changing the bed would be difficult.

  It would just be my luck to finally find a man and drive him off by my sleeping habits instead
of with my personality as usual. Imagine some poor guy showing up at work yawning and red around the eyes, "hey Mike wild night at Steve's"? Rubbing his eyes he answers, "no it's like sleeping with a giant grasshopper"! Oh well, there is always handcuffs I guess.

18 comments:

John Going Gently said...

You think too much xxx

Old Lurker said...

Maybe these are hot flashes. Are you going through manopause?

I think Mike would make a fine mate for you, but isn't he taken? Remember Exodus 20:17: you should not covet your neighbours house, nor his wife, nor his servants, nor his ass.

Anonymous said...

I think I would roast in your bed. I only have cotton sheets and a comforter as my bedroom is rather warm because of in-floor heating and five west and south facing windows.

Mistress Maddie said...

Of course.... if the said guy is on top of you or has you in an embrace it would be hard for you to move!!!

I am a human heater, so I sleep naked. I don't like feeling confined or restricted by fabric and like to feel completely free at least once a day. I'm a very calm, heavy sleeper from what I'm told. Some say I even look like I'm in a coffin I sleep so straight. and I can't sleep on my stomach at all.

Anonymous said...

I know someone just like you!
JP

Mike said...

Steve, you never turned anyone off with your personality. Pretty sure.

I suffer from all you described even in summer, so I can't blame. My nickname could be squirmy. Bob isn't much better. Add to that having to get up to empty aging bladders, it's a wonder we get any sleep!

Mike said...

Oops: so I can't blame the blankets.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, hence the blog!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Lurker, it's andropause in men, maybe! I have noticed a few changes. Which Mike? Almost every reader I have is Mike. He can keep his wife, I may want to pet his ass.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

RJ, you could always sleep here naked. Just saying.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, I need to feel warm and secure when I'm sleeping, so I wear clothes for when I need to run from the thing under the bed.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

JP, uh oh, does he kick you out at night?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mike, my ex boyfriend would disagree with you, on the other hand he's a big fat cry baby jerk, I going to stay positive however. Lol

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mike, lol ok and I meant to say "I'm going to stay positive"! Spellchecker is silly at times.

Anonymous said...

Though I sleep alone, I know I am a thrasher as the bed is usually a mess by the next morning. Sometimes my dog jumps up in bed with me and we have to share a space. He usually manages to hog the bed.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael 54, it's always us quiet ones that are wild in bed, unfortunately it's not in the way we would like lol.

Ur-spo said...

That was a fun read; you have a good wit with writing. It is one of the reasons I keep coming back
I think you must be visited by night demons, like an incubus or a 'lutein'

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, I live alone in a big house in the country, did you have to put that into my head. Now where is that night light!