Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Indifference earned.

Relationships, just the average ordinary person to person relationship, a friendship, dating relationship or family, I think the worst thing to happen to that type of relationship is not hate but indifference. Hate between former friends or family members, sometimes really means that they are hurt or angry and those emotions block the real desire to be united. I don't think people invest time in a pointless relationship, I think many are looking for something, hoping for something. I remember one of my friends always saying how much she hated her father. He was a selfish person and left his family to run off and have fun, eventually starting a whole new family to replace the first bunch. I always felt when she would be ranting about what a loser he was, she was really saying that he hurt her by leaving (rejecting) her and the rest of the family. Her brother on the other hand I knew actually didn't care about the father, he had no interest or reaction to any news about him. I knew I was right when my friend's father passed away, she was going on and on about not caring what happened to him and didn't want to hear people expressing sympathy. I said that I was sorry he wasn't the father that she wanted, that she deserved. She went completely quiet, a little stunned I think that I said what she has always been thinking. She cried a little and thanked me. .............................................. When it comes to friendships I am pretty easy going about how people choose to live their life. As long as you are not harming someone, I don't judge. One thing which immediately changes my view of a person, is finding out I can't trust them. If someone lies about something major when there was no reason to lie, or does something really negative towards me, that makes me see them like stranger, someone to be cautious around. It may sound weird but I see them as a stranger that was disguised as a friend. It's like thinking "I thought you were (this) person but you're someone else". I don't like drama so there is no big argument, I just ghost them (disappear). Having someone like that around, is like standing on a rotting floor, I feel they are unstable. Recently I discovered that a friend of mine was not being honest with me, I was a bit surprised and at the same time deep down not surprised. The strange thing, there was no need for deception, I don't get it. Now I couldn't be bothered with him, to me it was a little creepy, there is no mending this fence. Only for cleaning up emails, I rarely think about him, I am not upset, I don't feel anything, sometimes it's almost a relief not to have to go out of my way to visit and I think this is probably a healthy way to end relationships. Congratulations sir, you have my complete indifference.

4 comments:

Mistress Maddie said...

Your post makes a lot of sense to me. One does not need this around them. It's neither required nor desired. I have some acquaintances I don't trust, fine. I only see them in passing. But my inner sanctum is only for my loved friends, that I completely trust...and it takes time to get in that.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Steven, usually I am the same way about letting people in. Coming from a small community it's funny how different my views are regarding people I am getting to know. People from the city feel after six months they know someone, I feel it takes two years before I begin to know someone.

Anonymous said...

I’ve cut loose people too. Sometimes with regret because I think there is sometimes something to be salvaged. Friendship works both ways.
JP

Sooo-this-is-me said...

JP, I usually find that the people I cut ties with, go on to prove I made the correct decision.