Where are you going.. summer?

 Last week after I came home from pride, I went out to check on my garden because I had been absent Saturday and Sunday. I saw something that hit me like a door in the face. The potato plants were lying down, some were turning brown and some yellow... noooo! You see for the non gardener, when the entire patch lays down like this and they are healthy, they are getting ready to go dormant. The plants die off and then you harvest the potatoes. The onions were doing the same and the tomatoes were dropping their leaves. 

 Summer is over. There was no mistaking the message, plants go by daylight hours, they don't care what the calendar or weather man says, they follow their own rhythm.

 No little onions.. get up! Get up! It's not time to sleep, please get up, hurry before winter hears about this, we don't want him coming!

 Noooo little potatoes, get up! Get up! Please do it for uncle Steve! Get up you little bastards or I'll poutine your dumb asses!

 No little tomatoes... nooo, stop dropping all your leaves, you still have time to grow! Now stop that baring your branches, shame on you, we can see your balls.. urr tomatoes. What are the neighbors going to think, filthy little plants, I'm never reading posts from Maddie's blog to you again!

 Gasp! Gassssssp! What? What has happened? Farewell rhubarb, you have earned your rest my old girl, you may sleep for you were the first to herald spring when I needed a sign of spring. You were the first real flavor after a winter of frozen or canned food, many plants have come and gone over the years but you have always been loyal to my family, good night, until we meet again some day.

 Hey at least the peppers are still doing kickass!

 I don't care what the calendar says, today is the last day of summer for me, tomorrow is the first day of fall. In this part of the world, the weather agrees with me. There is a chill in the air and this long weekend is always very different temperature wise from even last weekend. There is no more swimming in lakes and frost is a real constant danger now. Over all the summer of 2019 has been a pretty good summer, it started off cold but warmed up into a pleasant normal summer. Doesn't that sound weird to say or read, summer of 2019, really.. seriously it's been 19 years since the year 2000? When did that happen, imagine 2020, seems almost like the title of a science fiction novel or movie.. but I'm rambling.

 Even where the sun sets now is unbelievable in how far north the planet's tilt has progressed. My mom used to be saddened by the position of Sun, she passed that obsession on to me. You can see the sun setting on the left, on June 21 it sets on the right where you can see a tiny bump of a treetop. Hard to grasp in a photo but a huge distance in real life. You can see why things cool down, in another week or so, the sun will no longer shine on the north side of the buildings, or for that matter any hill, mountain or forest. The flowers on the north side of the house will stop blooming because of lack of light. The ground will begin to cool off as ever growing large sections won't see sunlight again until next spring.

 Tomorrow begins the decent into darkness, death and cold but as you see... I'm keeping a positive attitude towards it. :p

My nipple clamps arrived!

 I'm so happy, my nipple clamps arrived and they came with shocking power to give that extra spark!

 Well you people did say to get more in touch with my sexuality. Plus every nipple clamp purchased during August comes with a free set of fuzzy handcuffs! Grrrrowl.

 I can't believe it's been a week already since my pride weekend. Time flies when you're trying to get shh.. I mean, stuff done. It's too bad I didn't bump into anyone at the parade. I was prepared to meet people, even straight people from work, many are LGBTQ positive and I could see them bringing their kids out to have fun. I know it would have went like this, "what are you doing here"? Even though I would be wearing a button and carrying a little rainbow flag, I would have said, "these are my people, this is my tribe". Then I would be the Monday morning gossip but that's ok with me.

  We have a number of out lesbians at work and I was surprised none were there, neither was the two trans people. Actually at work, no one even knew pride had happened.

  A blog buddy said to me last week, while we were emailing back and forth, "what are you going to do to keep the moment going"? I like that he said that because it's exactly what was on my mind. I am trying different groups to socialize with, not dating sites but groups to make friends. I figure make friends first then maybe out of that I will meet Mr Right. Unfortunately this city seems so lame. In other cities these same groups meet, socialize and the groups thrive, here nobody goes, nobody puts any effort into meeting someone new and the groups disband in a year. Anyway I'm going to keep trying, onwards and outwards. Now I have to remember to turn the power down on these nipple clamps, last shock nearly made me wet myself and not in an erotic way!

Call of the wild, shh don't answer!

 I wish I could record what I have been hearing most evenings this summer. I have tried but the phone doesn't pick it up. Some nights it's just coyotes howling, creepy enough but they are mostly just yappy when they howl and bark a little as well. However some nights there is a sound that even frightens the coyotes into silence. The hair standing up on the back of your neck comes from the wolves, apparently some must have built a den just north of the buildings because as night falls, they start howling after dark. It's not a silly yapping howl, it's the blood chilling deep moaning wail of a creature stalking the woods for its next kill. You get an image in your head of a dark figure, skulking from tree to tree in the evening mist. All the fairy tales filled with night terror become real. The big bad wolf, is the big bad wolf..  but only if you are another animal, they tend to stay away from people but they will kill anything they can get a hold of and when they get really hungry, they will do things that can get really scary, like come into your yard during the day.

 It's the call of nature and when you hear it, let the machine pick up, "sorry, I can't come to the phone right now, plus to be honest I wouldn't taste that good, I'm all bones... and my friend Jim is here.. you know.. the hunter"!

 It's interesting to hear them, I know people travel out into parks at night to listen for them. There are a lot more wolves around now than there used to be. My favorite actually is hearing the owls at night, I will miss them when I move. Now how do I set these wolves to shut off at eleven, life in the country.

Pride 2019.

 I was thinking I better get this post done before it's been a week since the parade. Interesting (to me anyway), I happen to look back ten years ago to see what I was doing. I was posting about going to a pride parade, only the Montreal one and not Ottawa. I found that startling because it was the last parade I went to, I can't believe it's been ten years since I went. Anyhoo here's some pics.

 Here Debra, some amazing boobs for you! Even better, some nice wholesome lesbian sex slaves with dog leashes and everything.

 Just like with our mayor finally coming out, the beautiful thing about eventually coming out, is it changes people for the better, like this fellow, welcome to the rainbow side.. like father like son?

 I can't imagine how great it is for younger people, sadly they probably don't realize how lucky they are, to get to have gay proms etc. I loved this little guy, he was about twelve or so and was fabulously leading his group in a butterfly costume. The expression on his face was priceless, he loved his role.

 Even though it was downtown Ottawa, surprisingly a group of bears showed up! I want a bear hug!

 It wouldn't be right of me not to include a gay rugby team, drool drool pant!

 Speaking of athletes, how about the volleyball team, drool drool pant!

 Every pride parade needs a unicorn!

 Speaking of animals, lots of people brought their dogs and puppies. This gorgeous young man was so good at keeping his three pups in line. Take note John Grey since you love dogs.

 Of course our special ladies are always front and center.

 Who wouldn't enjoy a burlesque show? Heck I want to go see that. Maybe even get to wear the tassels!

 There was much much more, it was hard to get good pictures but this was a small part of what I saw. The crowd was huge, I heard yesterday that they estimated it to be at least a hundred thousand, I totally believe that number from what I saw, good thing I went because 999 999 just doesn't sound as sexy.  I can remember a time years ago, when I heard 5000 showed up and I was amazed it was that big.

 I always feel very emotional for days after any big LGBTQ event. I spend my life thinking I'm alone only to be snapped into reality that I'm not and that I have a whole community that can relate to me. I never want to leave something like a pride parade. Walking back to my car always feels so weird to me, like for a brief moment I get to live in a world where people are like me, then later I'm transported back to a world I'm not fully a part of.

 It was important that I went this year because of all the bigotry I've heard being directed towards the LGBTQ community in the last twelve months. We got together, we played thumping dance music, we dressed up, (some undressed), we laughed, we cheered, mostly we had fun! I'm so thankful that as a gay man I live in Canada. There was a guy in the parade with a t-shirt that read, "this parade is gay" thankfully.. yes it is!

Speaking of good signs.

 Just another short post this morning. Speaking of signs at the parade, there were many, some hilarious, some thoughtful, some straight to the point (no pun intended).

 There was a different kind of sign however and it made me feel really good inside. There were no news cameras anywhere that I could see, no reporters, no journalists.. nothing. Probably at some point the media came out for a few sound bites but otherwise stayed away. A sign that the pride festival and parade is something no longer news worthy, not like some kind of street riot, this is the way it should be. Of course the early coverage did help get the message out but the feel of it was predatory at times.

 I remember in the early days when I was really uncomfortable with my sexuality, that was one of the annoyances. News crews would be running up and down trying to capture the freaks on display. You could hardly sit down without a camera suddenly being shoved in your face.

 "What do you see Bob"?
 "Well Kent there are a number of homosexuals eating on this restaurant patio, it appears that most have ordered the salad with their meal, clearly this must be some kind of sexual signal"!
 " You heard it here first folks, we will be keeping an eye on this story, next up is Janice and her unbelievable story about a lesbian that has never been to Home Depot"!

Thoughts on Pride 2019.

 I just got home and I'm having a late dinner so tonight I'm only going to touch on a few thoughts about the pride parade today, I will make a proper post about it tomorrow or Tuesday. First.. it.. was.. HUGE! I haven't gone for about eight years and I was utterly gobsmacked by the size of the parade. Also the crowds were incredible, thanks to all the straight people who came out to support us... and thanks for bringing hundreds upon hundreds of children, who will now grow up accepting of the LGBTQ community. The parade used to take less than an hour, today it started at 1:30 and finished after 4:00. There were times when I would look up and down the street and see nothing but people for as far as I could see. There were plenty of older moms and dads there to give love to lonely LGBTQ children.

 The Ottawa pride parade is a lot more tame than most pride parades. It is family friendly, a lot of the group's have children marching in them. My sister said something to me Thursday and it seems to be true from what I saw today. She said the Ottawa parade is boring because it's too political and too commercial. She said that's why she stopped going, she is thinking about taking in a larger parade next year like Montreal  or Toronto pride. True, I don't want to see a group of union reps protesting some work grievance or one political party sniping at the other. Even though I enjoyed the day, I personally wouldn't recommend anyone traveling here just to see the Ottawa parade, it was lame at times. There just isn't the floats or fabulous-ness you see else where. There are mostly groups walking, waving flags. You spend all afternoon watching groups representing the major banks, unions, insurance companies, Starbucks, political parties blah blah blah! I want to see drag Queens, I want to see men in leather, I want to see the gay hockey teams, I want big scary dykes on bikes! There were times when I felt that everyone around me and everyone in the parade were straight and I was the only gay person. Fortunately those times didn't happen long...

 I was alone again, my fault; however I moved around where ever I wanted to. It's hard not to notice everyone else in groups having a lot of fun. Another thing that can almost ruin it for a person is smoke. I was so glad years ago when they started banning smoking from buildings, parks, public places etc. I hate the smell of smoke. Unfortunately since they made smoking pot legal, everyone does it everywhere. Even though I was outside yesterday, I could smell it in my car this morning. The car was parked off site, my clothes absorbed the stink enough to transfer it to my car.

 I never saw a single person I knew, it's possible that we didn't cross paths but I remember a time when I would meet a lot of my friends. The old farts probably didn't want to come out anymore. I was thinking how opposite of the old days. I used to be terrified of meeting someone, I remember once almost bumping into a friend of a friend. A huge drag queen stepped between us and I slipped away before being seen, scurrying home before I was outed. Now I don't care at all. I was hoping to see a bunch from work, there are a group of guys I was suspecting to be gay, I thought they might be there.

 I decided to leave after five, the crowds were large and I didn't feel like waiting an hour for everything. You can't dance alone and if you talk to someone they think something is wrong with you. Another thing that was very pleasing, at the end of the parade, we didn't have the usual haters with their signs and bible thumping. Although some people came prepared with some songs of their own.. lol.

 Oh and did I mention about the gay firemen... gay firemen people.. gaaaay fire..men! Get that truck over here because I think I'm melting!

My big ol'gay Saturday!

 I was thinking to myself the other day that I was being the usual stick in the mud and not taking part in any of the g'activities this past week. I couldn't get anyone to go with me so last night I said screw them.. I decided to take in the LGBTQ street fair today. Two streets were closed down and there were a lot of booths set up.

 As usual at any LGBTQ event, there is a number of gay bears!

 There were some good acts on the smaller stages, they had the gay men's chorus and two young girls that could really sing well. On the main stage they had a d.j spinning tunes.

 There were also two drag shows going on. One at a smaller stage with local queens which was entertaining, also there was one heck of a kickass show on the main stage, it was freaking awesome! These ladies meant business!

 This next one was my favourite, she came to conquer! Very out there, very theatrical, brilliant! Like Maleficent and a drag queen had an offspring. She did her route to the Todrick song, I like boys.

 Sorry I couldn't get closer to the stage, a lot of the pictures didn't turn out, too bad because there were some other really good acts.

 There was a queen from Montreal, the outfit demanded attention!

The main guest of the evening was the 2018 Drag race winner Aquaria, some of you probably have heard of her. I have never watched the show, nearly lost my gay card over that one today.

She was hard to take a picture of, she uses the entire stage, running back and forth and getting down on the floor, it was like trying to take a picture of a balloon someone just released the air out of.

 During the day, I couldn't help feeling like I was back at square one, here I am alone at pride, just like before I came out. However I can't hold a pity party, I procrastinated over making more friends and this is the result. I also felt my age there, most people were thirty five and younger or at least it felt that way. I did get a few looks and one guy really checked me out, I mean really checked me out! Like a wolf looking at a lamb chop! He wasn't my type, his eyebrows were plucked and I think he might have had a little male makeup on. He was however very good looking and younger than me, made me feel good inside, I still got it. :D

 I was thinking about buying a gay teddy but I already have a teddy bear, we have been together for thirty years. Teddy was given to me by a friend who would later come out to me as a lesbian, so there is a gay connection with him, feeling guilty I brought teddy back a little gift from this afternoon.

 I enjoyed running with the herd today, so I'm returning tomorrow for the parade, gay night everyone.