Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Christmas Eve 2019.

 Wow... here we are again. I have nothing done but I'm not going to panic, there really is no point for me. I just need to make some cookies for tomorrow, wrap a few gifts and I'm good to go. I never did get into the holiday spirit no matter what I tried, I'm okay with that... as long as I don't have some mid-winter regret over it. It's going to be pretty easy after Christmas, no decorations to put away. The only thing Christmas-ish is the one sad and lonely little Christmas card I got... lol.

 I'm disappointed however with one thing, I have been trying to create my own "family" but I wasn't successful. Meaning boyfriend, group of friends etc. People to spend the holidays with. Yes... some people tell me to stop in but that's different from actual family. Nothing can feel more lonely than sitting in on someone else's family Christmas. My last really happy Christmases were when I was dating Dan, it was exciting again, it was magical again. We were making our own new memories together, we were forming a new family unit. That's what I would like to have again. Right now to me it doesn't feel like Christmas eve, it feels like Tuesday. Anyway don't worry, I'm not feeling down, as I keep saying, I just feel "meh".

 To anyone celebrating today and/or tomorrow, Merry Christmas!

 Now I'm off to make cookies... and hopefully they won't smell like cat food. :D


Jimmy said...

I hope you find your dream gift. Happy baking, Steven.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

May 2020 bring you your heart's desire, Steven!

Vivian Swift said...

Your "family" is out there, and so long as you search for them, they will find you. I have a feeling that they are missing you as much as you are missing them, even if you don't know who they are yet.

Happy Christmas, Steven. All in good time.

Leanna said...

Happy Christmas Steve. I'm sure you will find that one person that puts a tingle in your heart soon, hopefully, this coming year.

Mistress Maddie said...

Merry Christmas and a Happy Yuletide to you and all who stop in.

You know my door is always open, so for some reason you decide one year to do something completely different, you could come here and have a nice trip and I'll show you things. We will open new doors, door you never dreamed of! Opps...watching to much Auntie Mame again. I would love that too! Before leaving town today I got your card, and you have no idea how that made my day! What a surprise!

But look at what you accomplished this year alone cutie! I know it's onward and upward for you again next year too. I know these things

Merry Christmas Steven.

Ps check your inbox later.!!!

Old Lurker said...

Yes, Christmas can be a lonely time for homosexuals. The Lurkville LGBTQ+ centre is holding an orphan's Christmas gathering tomorrow. I am not going because there will be too much food, but I think it is a good idea. Maybe there is something similar in Ottawa?

Dave R said...

Bake cookies.. and then eat them all. As I think back on all of my Christmases, none of them were really great. Oh, that isn't to say they weren't fun, but none of them stand out mostly, I think, because we've been trained to think Christmas is the greatest day of all. It isn't. It is just Tuesday, especially if you're Muslim, or Jewish, or Hindu, or Buddhist. Now, I think I'm going to go make some sticky buns.

Christina said...

I have a husband, three children and six grandchildren. It feels like "Tuesday" to me too. It is what it is.
Wishing you a healthy and happy 2020.
Great times are just around the corner! 😀😀😀😀 xx

Richard said...

It takes time to build a family. Keep meeting up with the guys. You may have many invitations next year.

anne marie in philly said...

may santa bring you a man for 2020! SMOOCHES!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Happy Holidays!
And happy baking! And rember, the Holidays are what we make of them!


HuntleyBiGuy said...

Steven, you’ve taken some big steps recently. And that investment will pay off. I’m sure by this time next year things will be different. There’s more to Christmas than sparkling trees. As they say it’s in the heart. And from what I’ve seen you have a very big heart. So enjoy the peace of Christmas.