Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Display of hatred.
Yesterday I was shaken up a little by something that happened at work. It was a conversation between myself and someone that I have worked with for years. Doug is generally a nice guy, he can be a little old fashioned or conservative in his thinking but not to extreme or so I thought. For instance, he doesn't support a politician just because they are right wing, they have to do a good job.
Doug came into the room where I was working and started to talk about the transgender person, apparently he was upset with the way she was dressed. I started to point out that it's not about "him" it's about what that person needs and it's not our business, when all of a sudden Doug starts ranting and raving about her. He starts fuming over washrooms, the change rooms, the men's showers, has she seen him changing, that he feels violated by her etc etc. Then he starts saying things like, there are probably more people like that around and probably gay people as well at work... and that you never know who is checking you out, it's disgusting! He was absolutely livid, I could feel the seething hate he had for the trans woman.
I was completely caught off guard, I have never felt so uncomfortable in the presence of a "friend" before... a little afraid to be honest, he is much larger than I am and very athletic. I really felt in that moment if I had said that I am gay (and I was angry enough that I was tempted) he would have hit me out of a sense in his mind of betrayal. A woman I work with came in to get me and so he ended the conversation.
Today I can't even look at him, I did not know he held those views. I even see him differently today than I did yesterday, like he has been replaced by a totally different person, one that just happens to look like him. It's unsettling to discover that someone you once thought of as a friend, is actually an enemy.