Thursday, October 26, 2017
Then "He" shows up.
I was at a friend's house, having a cup of tea and a slice of cake... because I never say no to cake. She was telling me about a wedding reception for an older cousin she had just attended. This man had lost his first wife about five years ago to cancer, he has three grown children. The man's youngest son is gay and may I add a very handsome young guy. My friend was saying the son was there with his partner and that the daughter was there with her partner also. I was so surprised, I didn't know the daughter is gay as well. My friend joked that there must be something in the water, then she went on to say it's nice that people don't think twice about gay couples. I never told this friend that I am gay, I have been trying to read her and her husband and thinking of a way to slip it in. I began to see my opportunity, I mentioned someone close to me that we both know who is also gay with a partner. She said that she already knew and how good it is that people no longer have to hide their relationships, that this generation is more accepting. I was relieved, she had a good attitude towards gay people and now I could finally tell her. No big deal, when she finished her sentence I would just casually say "and me as well" or something to that effect. All just very logical and straight forward (no pun intended), until "he" showed up. Yes emotional gay Steven saw his chance to appear, inside my head that is. Clapping his fingers together and building a flood of overwhelming "feelings" he went on and on about how he could reveal his true self to this friend plus release the chains of straight oppression, drama drama drama. This resulted in me nearly crying as I went to tell her that I am gay. I had to abort mission, I was really annoyed at myself, such a perfect opportunity ruined and for absolutely no reason, what the fluff! Now I will have to try another day when sensible Steven is in more control. Looks like coming out is still a big deal to me even after all this time. I think as well it may be because I have not really told anyone new for years. I just function between groups of people who know or don't know and if they sometimes cross over with each other, they can work it out. Ugh, I hate drama.