Saturday, December 5, 2015

FWBs and other bad ideas.

When I was younger I used to have friends over, we would play video games, drink beer and eat pizza. My friends were straight family men and my place was a getaway for them. I remember sometimes guys being guys, they would strip down to get comfortable, it was hard not to feel aroused by the situation. One day I had the thought in my head, why couldn't a person have a few friends over that would play video games, eat pizza, drink beer, get naked, play twister and help each other out with a little intimacy. When I first heard the term "friends with benefits" I thought "bingo" that may be the thing for me. Lately "friends with benefits" just seems to be part of the relationship dialogue, as if it has become a new form of couple, as if equal to boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend. The evening news did a segment one night about it and discussed how to navigate through a relationship like this, it almost seemed to recommend getting into a friendship if you happen to not be dating anyone. ....................................... Sounds good in theory but I can't actually see myself doing that. I think I would get attached to the person, (I would hope I get attached) it's not in me to not care. If I didn't, then something is really wrong with me, or him (or them lol). I am not judging anyone here, if that is your current situation then that is your business. As for myself, I think searching out someone to start this type of relationship would feel phoney, because it's not an actual friendship built on mutual interests, shared experiences or connections. It would be an arrangement, like a business partnership or something along those lines. I think after an encounter like that I would feel empty (oh, no pun intended) or have huge regrets. ............................................. Even now if a life long friend came forward and wanted to start something, it would be just too weird. Oh the awkward moment when I get naked and he gets naked, then the handcuffs come out etc etc, yuck it would be like when I have to strip at the doctor's office. I have come close to entering into a relationship like this but I backed out, it's not really what I am looking for. Better to keep these thoughts for fantasy, dirty dirty fantasies. Oh well you know what they say, you should learn to love yourself first, yes pun intended.

1 comment:

Ur-spo said...

I fear you are thinking too much about tand this is getting in the way of progress.

Relationships are sticky, gray, messy, and continually being sorted - and it is worse off as everyone is doing this but no one is going by the same rules or expectations.

Sometimes it is best to take the Liza M approach from Cabaret when she was asked by her friend what does her relationship mean. Liza says "Does it matter so long as you are having fun?" :-)