Saturday, October 24, 2015

Grocery shopping thoughts.

Why is it that I think of all the craziest thoughts while shopping for groceries. Like for instance, there is some sort of universal conspiracy against me when I go to get my munchies. One of the reasons I dream this up is because inevitably I will always bump into someone who I can't stand, maybe even haaaaaaate. Oh there will be no warning, oh no, they're is no chance of escape, no hiding behind the broccoli and zucchini, it will be turn the corner and blammo, there they are, right in front of me. Oh hi, yes I would love to talk and listen to your bitter hateful rants about whatever and that exciting way you drone on and on but you know that sale on salad dressing is not going to last forever! Then the universe plays that joke where I keep turning into them at every corner, no matter how I try to rearrange my ile search. Finally I give them the slip and while looking over my shoulder, run smack into someone even worse. ...................................... Why do I never meet an old friend, why do I never meet some of the people I admire, why do I never meet a current friend who I just don't get to spend time with. Then I wonder, well worry actually, what if I am "that guy" to someone. What if someone is shopping and his wife comes running up, out of breath and whispers, "don't look now but Steve is to your left buying toilet paper". They nod to each other silently, knowingly, put down their groceries and quietly slip away. Later they tell a friend of the near mishap, "oh that guy would just go on and on". ........................................ I am back to noticing gay couples, I used to watch gay couples shopping together and wish that was me. When I finally had someone to shop with, I stopped noticing. I am funny like that, I never hear of all the wild and crazy stuff gay men get up to and think that I want that for myself. I get excited when I hear two guys get a house together, get married or even shop for groceries together, boring I know but I'm a family man, a gay family man that is. Need to work on that but I'm stalling stalling which is probably better as another post for another day. Anyway I broke down and bought a breakfast type pastry, so you know......

3 comments:

Ur-spo said...

this was fun reading; you have a good wit.

Anonymous said...

You absolutely have my sympathies. There is nothing worse than bitter recriminations over broccoli - and I should know.
jp

Laurent said...

I shop at the little store Boushy's on Elgin Street and rarely see anyone. Ed Broadbent shops there, I say hello to him but that is about it.