Running with the pack.

As far as friends go, I tend to move amongst the straight crowds. Sometimes that makes more sense to me as friends should be of like mind with similar interests and not just picked because of sexuality. However I do miss not being able to talk about gay issues with other men. I say men because I have a lot of lesbian friends, I didn't plan it that way, life just worked its funny magic and voila, lesbians everywhere around me. However I think a gay man needs gay male friends, lol we need to run with the pack so to speak. .................................... So I want to say that I have been actively working on a friendship with someone. We have been communicating back and forth for a while now. I wanted it that way, there have been some bad experiences in the past so I wanted to proceed with caution. My bad sense of humor, I actually said to the guy for us to email back and forth, just to make sure one of us was not crazy! It's going really well actually, we have a lot of common ground, we are both in similar situations and it makes everything easier not having to explain myself constantly. ................................................ He did say that he just needs a friend now, I think he has been hurt a few times and is cautious about getting into another relationship. I said I am on the same page, right now I have too much on my plate and I told him it would not be fair to the other person for me to try and date. ............................................... However this is my blog, these are my thoughts so here comes the truth because really, I can't lie to myself! I'm feeling a strong connection to this guy, I hope we like each other, he seems like a really decent person. I hope he is really like the person that he is presenting himself to me as. I hope he falls for me, I hope he comes to me one day, sheepish and red in the face and asks to change our dynamics, asks me to go out with him as more than just a friend, I hope we fall in love. ........................... Or, this could be that new guy experience, the one that makes me blind to someone's faults, maybe right now I am refusing to see the problems stretch out before my eyes, so I need to guard myself, play it cool, detach and step back. Ok Steven, calm down, press the reset button and just work on being friends. What if he hates me after getting to know me. .................................. I think that was the hardest part about my breakup with Dave. The fact that once he got to know the "real" me, he no longer wanted to be with me, comes as a huge shock to the ego and assaults your core. Once bitten twice shy and I think it's part of the reason I essentially stopped being gay for the last couple of years. Well I will keep all three of you posted.