Friday, July 31, 2015
Stevosexuality
I am starting to understand that sexuality is tailored made to each individual, there is no cookie cutter set of rules. I really get tired of people trying to label everyone. Even if I say that I'm gay, my version of gay is not the same as many other gay men. A few days ago I happened to read posts on other sites that really irritated me. The basic rant was that gay men who are after masculine type men, were supposedly being hypocrites. Somehow they were not true to the gay cause. If you wanted a masculine boyfriend, you were branded a self hater. ......................... To each his own I say. I am attracted to masculine men. Some say "straight acting" but I don't like that choice of phrase, I can see the label problem there. If a guy plays hockey and does construction all week, is that not just another form of gay acting lol. I think my version of "gay" is not a cop out, to me it makes a lot more sense than dating a guy in a dress. I have zero attraction to the feminine side of humanity so I want my guy to be a typical guy. Otherwise I would think if I were dating a man who dresses and looks like a woman, why wouldn't I date the real thing. This is however "my" view of sexual attraction based on my sexuality or my sexual viewpoint and I never would try to push it on others. .................................. A person would think that by this stage in life, I would be fully aware of what I am sexually attracted to, that is why I was so surprised by something I learned about myself last winter. I was reading about transgender people, I have no attraction to men going through this transition, in fact I have said this before that I am uneasy around guys in drag etc. It's not an awkward sexual thing, it has more to do with the feeling that someone is hiding their identity from me................................. I was looking at pictures of trans people when I happened to see women who were well on their way to becoming men. Some only used hormones and did not want surgery. I was shocked to realize that I was very attracted to these men. Even more shocking to me is I would absolutely date a person like these guys and it wouldn't bother me in the least if they never had the surgery, I guess it shows me that I am attracted to the person as a whole and that I don't identify a person by their genitals, I am not trying to sound crude. I am just trying to explain this attraction, to me, they were men, handsome men. I have also noted that these men seem to draw more hostility and often from groups that should be supportive. ......................... I am lucky I think that one of my huge attractions is towards the average joe type of man, so I have a huge pool of guys to pick from. The fact that I don't try is for more soul searching, but that is for a different post. I hope that one day people can understand that we can't impose our attractions onto others, square pegs in round holes type thing, that we just let whoever date whoever. Sexuality, tailor made for me and you.
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4 comments:
Be on guard for thems who want to put you/others into neat categories and definitions. People are far too complex to do so, and it is an injustice to do otherwise.
I once asked an analytical professor what is the hardest thing to understand in human psychology. she replied without pause 'what a person finds attractive. there is no accounting for taste" :-)
Interesting observations. i find that guys on both extremes unappealing. Hypemasculine men strike me as repulsive, while ultrafemine gays scare me. There's an emergent gay style that hits all the right attractiveness buttons for me. It has many of the attributes of attractive people in general - confidence, cool, but with a distinctive, though not overdone, gay flair, and I’m starting to sound like an article in Cosmo. Whatever it is, it’s sexy, original, and it’s ours. Somewhere between flaming and straight-acting is a gay style that, when done right, that is acutely attractive.
Americans have a passion for categorizing and quantifying things. I have spent my career in the arts, particularly in the performing arts and I often hear people ask, "What is the best opera?" or "What is Shakespeare's best play?" clearly with the thought of seeing that and not bothering with the others. I am not attracted to just one type of man. I have enjoyed encounters and affairs with many different types but there are some that I can spend time with or talk with happily but would not want to have sex with. This is completely normal, and should not be seen as a kind of prejudice -- it's your body and your brain (which I have sometimes heard called the body's biggest sex organ) and there's no logic to sexual attraction. It is an intensely personal thing and and nobody's business but yours.
Thanks for the comments gentlemen, I should probably clear up that when I say masculine guy I mean just an ordinary man, he doesn't have to be a lumber Jack lol. I am attracted to different types of men and I am okay with that, I just don't think someone else should tell me what type of guy is right or wrong for me.
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