Mistaken Life.

The other day, one of my blog buddies asked me if I ever get the feeling that I should be doing something different with my life. The truth is I always feel that I have taken the wrong path, actually to correct that statement, I "know" that I have taken the wrong path. I am notorious for taking the easy way out. I am also one of those people who can see how choices will play out in the future, but fail to do the correct thing. Dare I say this but, in a few more years I will turn fifty. How the blank blank did that happen! That scares the bleep out of me. I have this gnawing sense of time running out, and the sense of wasting my life, holding back, none ambitious. Too many times I sold myself short, criticized myself to the point of being my worst enemy. ..................... I think of the Robert Frost poem, "The Road Not Taken". I am sure many of you are familiar with this poem, it was often studied in high school. A man stops at a fork in the road and contemplates his path in life, thinking of the "what if", what if he had decided to take a different path. I remember not really understanding the man's dilemma, youth can't relate to a life timeline, however I do remember thinking that I hoped to not feel that way when I was older. Unfortunately I do, I feel I made the wrong choices, some at the time I thought I was doing the right thing but now I see it was the easier thing. I am doing the wrong thing with my life, I am living in the wrong place, I am not where I should be relationship wise, I have made the wrong choices in letting connections go. It scares me to know that to get where I should be, I will have to start all over again and truthfully..... I don't have the energy anymore.