One year ago today I met Dave in person for the first time. I would enter a new world for myself after that meeting, a world where I was suppose to be. Dave was good, he knew how to handle someone unsure about how to come out and meet people. We had spoke on the phone and emailed up to this point, one day he just called and asked to go for coffee and said that after we could go to a gay bar. It was the best way to handle me, other wise I would have run going to a gay bar through my brain until the point of sweating like a rain shower. This way it would be easier to go in together after meeting at the coffee shop first. I did however really want to go to a gay bar by then.
We are going to celebrate our one year meeting on Sunday and slightly recreate our first date. However before I bore you with mush, I just want to be honest and say that it is not perfect, there are still problems. Some days I am not sure what is going to happen to us in the future and some days I can't see myself without him. I know for now however I really love the guy so we will keep moving forward with this relationship but sometimes I am wondering if I am settling. There is a lot I wish I could say here but out of respect I can't any more, Dave being someone that I care about, does not need to have his/our private lives put out on the net, it just would not be fair to him. I certainly have changed in my thinking lately and not in a good way, I think people would be shocked to know what I almost did. I don't feel that this blog is about my thoughts anymore, more like what I think people want to read and if I can't be honest in my thinking here, then what is the point of blogging. I will be celebrating with Dave but there is a whole other side that I leave out from here and I think that is just phony of me. It just became easier to write about the sunshine and roses stuff, that is why I think I am going to take a break from blog writing for a while, maybe a week or so.