Song Association.

This morning I was listening to an interview with a lead singer of a Canadian band. He was asked how he feels when a fan talks about playing his songs at a special life event, like at a wedding or an anniversary date to a moment of great importance to that person. He said that he completely understands and is greatly flattered. He gave his own personal experience of sitting with his father as he died. He said when he walked out to his car, he thought hard about what the first song he heard should be.

 I understood because I'm the same way, whenever something happens to me, if a song plays on the radio I will forever associate that song with that moment. This can be a negative for me however and I try to be careful not to hear a song that I really like after something dark has happened to me. In fact I try to listen to a station that plays rap or country music since I will eventually forget those associations. If I hear something I like, depending on the event, I may never be able to enjoy that song again no matter how much I like it.

 There are a few songs that I used to really enjoy, however now when I hear them, I am instantly transported back in time to that sad moment and I have to turn off or jump to another tune. Unlike the band member, I try never to associate a song with a negative moment.

Nut'n but the truth.

 I will reveal the lie from the previous post. Drum roll please.... no not that quick lol. I enjoyed playing that little game but my favorite part was the different explanations for your answers some of you came up with.

 Statement number one, when Richard wrote and said Alanis is only 44, I had to google her because I believe he must have been incorrect. Surprising to me he is correct, that just made me respect her more because yes, she was in a junior grade when I was in high school. She must have started at a really young age. I remember going home and telling my parents that this young girl at my school, put on a small concert and her voice was incredible for someone so young.... so this is true.

 Statement number two, although I have said that yes, I would date a female to male transgender person if they appeared male, I have actually never met a transgender person, so this one was the lie.

 Statement number three. I recently told a fellow blogger about something very frightening that happened to a friend of mine and I could have been there at the time. Basically I had been hanging out at this guy's house every Friday or Saturday evening, we had a disagreement and I decided to stop hanging out. A few weeks later a group of guys came one evening to rob my friend's business, while it was happening my friend recognized one of the men as someone he used to work with. The guys panicked and we're afraid of being caught so they dragged him outside to kill him, they beat him almost to death, only for a neighbour he would have been found dead. He will suffer for the rest of his life from the injuries but he is a really tough guy and survived. Normally I would have been there watching movies and having a beer at that time, I am not a really tough guy, I don't want to think about "what if I had been there". They had guns but didn't want to draw attention to the sound of gun shots, they probably would have used them if they found an extra person in the house.

 I did say I was trying a lighter post, should have left that one out lol. Anyone want to try this on your blog feel free. Now I'm going to bed, I'm tired.

2 Truths & 1 Lie.

 Okay a lighter post today, I was listening to people being interviewed on the radio and the host would play this game with them, hoping to get to know them better. The guest would be given time to think during the commercial break, to come up with three interesting facts about themselves; however two of the statements were to be true and one was supposed to be a lie.

 I will try that game here, I will tell you three amazing facts about me and you guess which one is a lie. Well... maybe not amazing but different.

1) When I was in high school, there was a girl in one of the younger grades that could sing well. She would later be known as Alanis Morissette.

2) My very, very first boyfriend turned out to really be a female to male transgender person, we didn't date long but it's one of the reasons why I have no problem with dating someone transgender.

3) I used to hangout with a buddy almost every Friday night until we had a bit of an argument and I stopped going over. This would be a life saving moment as I probably would have been murdered a week or two later had I kept hanging out with him.

 There that's my three, guess which one is the lie and if you want... just for fun say why you picked that one. I would also invite you to play the same game on your blog and let me know.

Holding a Grudge.

 I try to grow as a person, "try" being the key word here. Sometimes I feel that I haven't changed but then I look back on my life and I see that I do make steps in the right direction. One thing that I have a hard time letting go of, is when someone hurts me out of the blue. I am always startled by this and I never like or trust that person ever again. I would never try to hurt someone, so I am shocked when someone does or says something hurtful towards me.

 This weekend the name of a former high school teacher came up and it reminded me of an incident that occurred between us. I generally liked this teacher, we pretty much got along when I was in school but I will confess that I was a bit of a class clown during one of her math classes. Mostly it was out of frustration on my part, I was failing the course, couldn't make heads or tails of the subject and was bored having to sit through an hour of numbers in brackets with more brackets around them.

 A few years later I happened to be at a local fair and saw her. Since I had actually liked her, I went to say hello to her. At the time I wasn't sure what to do with my life, (still don't actually) so I was working in a coffee shop in those days, not very ambitious but it paid the bills, plus I was in my early twenties. I was always a polite person, so there was no way I would have been rude to her. I went up and said hello, she started talking to me, asking me questions, she acted a little cold to me, she gave off a vibe
of being condescending towards me and I thought I saw her smirking at me, then she said something like, "wow you've really turned out to be, kind of loser".

 I was completely stunned, speechless actually. I didn't know what to say and was completely humiliated, I just walked away embarrassed. I already had low self-esteem, I felt that was the only job I was good for and now someone that I had respected just confirmed my belief. I never told anyone what had happened. I now think that she was probably carrying a chip on her shoulder over the acting up in class. At the time I naively thought teachers would be too mature to do something like that but later on I discovered everyone is immature at some point in life. I also didn't want my mom to find out, she would hate that person with a white hot intensity from day one to forever. I bumped into her years later, this time I was cool with her but I still got that condescending vibe from her, real or not.

 Her name came up because her son suddenly died this week, only in his thirties it was a shock to them.

 I was going to delete this post, I felt it was very negative regarding how I had ended it. I decided not to delete it because it was something that happened to me and I think people need to learn to be careful with what they say to another person, especially a young person that looks up to them. After I left a negative ending to this post, I didn't feel closure, I felt embarrassed by my immaturity and it was bothering me. I was thinking about altering the ending when this family had more tragedy happen to them. That was it for me, I no longer feel angry, I moved past it the minute I wrote the post. I wish only the best for that family, that's how I truly feel inside, I guess I did grow as a person here, as I should have.

Hallowasn't.

 Another Halloween whizzed by, I intended to have a little fun with it, I was supposed to blog about a few scary stories that were true. I wanted to decorate the house a little. However time got away on me again, it seems to do that a lot on me now. I didn't even buy any candy for me to pretend... it was for any kids and I would only eat it if nobody came (which they never do).

 I worked late, it poured rain all day and was very cold, so I didn't bother going to my sister's house, she usually has a cool party happening as they hand out candy to children. Darkness comes early now, as I was driving home, I noticed the said fact that there are no children in most of the small towns now. I pass through six or seven small towns on my way home and I didn't see one child out trick or treating. Twenty years ago the larger towns would have been very busy with excited kids walking up and down the streets. Now most fitting for Halloween they are ghost towns after dark.

 Well that's over with, on to the next thing I guess, maybe I can do something Christmas-ish before it's New Year's and I miss that as well.

Merry Chri... Halloween?

 Everybody sing along with me, "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, eeeven though it's Hall-o-ween"! Ok once more with feeling... lol.

 This is my garden bench, I call this photo, "my garden bench". Is there no limit to my artistic creativity! I still have onions growing in the snow.

 This evening I was invited to a neighbour's house for tea, chatting and pumpkin pie. I heard something funny last week, a young guy said that as a concept pumpkin pie sounds great but as a reality, it's not so great. I laughed because even though I enjoy a piece of pumpkin pie now that I am older, as a younger person, there would be no way you could have convinced me to eat it. Younger Steven would have classed pumpkin pie in the same category as mashed turnip, baked squash or boiled spinach, the unspoken about, food group officially known by children as ugh... blah!

 Now however I enjoy the odd slice of pumpkin pie, even better is sitting in a warm kitchen with friends talking and laughing about the local antics of certain neighbours. These neighbours are good people but seem to act as if they are characters in a sitcom.

  More snow coming tomorrow, I hope this is just a freak of nature and we will return to our gloomy grey rainy days like a normal fall. I'm not ready to deal with snow so soon.

Frightfully Good.

 While driving to work Thursday morning, I was listening to a radio host talking about a list of scary movies to watch for Halloween. I didn't like any of the movies that were mentioned, some I found annoying to watch like the Blair Witch Project and others were just gross to watch. I like to be scared by a movie, not grossed out by it. I was thinking about picking out a scary movie to mention, that doesn't follow the usual Halloween theme. One movie that is scary to watch but doesn't have a Halloween theme to it, (I have in my library) is "The Edge", it was released back in 97, this movie had me jumping in my seat. It's been a while since I watched it, so hopefully it doesn't look dated but it stars Anthony Hopkins and Alex Baldwin. It's a good movie, the scary part is that it could happen, basically some guys get stranded in the wilderness of Alaska and as they are trying to make their way back to civilization, a Kodiak bear keeps stalking them.

 And now I'm going to show you something really really scary, it's snowing here already, screeeEEEEEM! AAAAAHH! NO NO NOOOO!