Homo Bigoted

Lately I hear the word homophobic used a lot. I feel to the point of being over used or used in the wrong context. This doesn't help gay people, it may do harm. I remember the days of homophobia, I was even part of that hysteria. Guys especially were so afraid of being thought of as gay, that they would freak out if another guy tried to put a hand on their shoulder. Two guys would not even dare think of hugging. I am seeing something else working it's way into society, it needs to have a proper name. Like homo-bigotry or homo prejudice. These people are not afraid of gay people, they are not ignorant, they know the facts as we know them. Yet they hate us, they will swear they are trying to help us but you only have to hear the snearing tone in their voices to pick up the truth. They spend their time trying to silence us, trying to turn society back against us. Why, why devote your time to work against people trying to get rights that other groups enjoy. With all the agencies that need help, this is what they spend their time doing, attacking us. Tossing out the word homophobic no longer fits the description, it doesn't help. This new wave of hate needs to be called out for what it is, hatred and more specifically hatred against the gay community. I keep hearing they want us to be silent, like the good old days, sorry but we are not going back into the closest.

Obsolete

Who the heck even blogs anymore, I feel so obsolete, outdated like a box of floppy disks. I use email and feel very modern when I text. Gasp! Text, as in texting??? People keep telling me that I should be on Twitter or skyping or or or. Enough! This is my stand, I will not change anymore. I have been reading my blog posts back when I was first thinking of coming out. It is an old feeling, reading your thoughts from years ago. Almost like mentally eavesdropping on someone, but it's you. Something I've noticed is that I feel the blog is obsolete. Coming out is very different now, I don't think that many of these younger generations will be hiding until they are in their twenties and thirties to come out. Thankfully, I would add, I would not want the younger generation to go through that. It will however make our struggle, one that they will not have a connection with. Makes me a little sad. I was commenting to someone on a t.v.show I watched the other day. There was a very steamy scene between two gay characters and I asked if that person ever thought they would see the day, when two gay characters would go at it like bunnies on prime time tv. People in their late thirties and up fully understand my question, younger people not so much. I'm glad for them, so just store our thoughts away, in cardboard boxes somewhere, with the floppy disks, VCRs and walkmans and maybe take them out once in awhile, shake off the dust and see our history.

The Arrival, or Crash landing.

When I started this blog, I was terrified of being outed as gay. My whole being was about keeping it hidden. It actually never occurred to me to use the blog as a way to help me come out. I think my first intentions were to secretly meet other gay people who wanted to stay hidden as well. I thought this was the right thing to do. We could form a group and hide together. I realize now that I was truly... here comes the word... homophobic. Yes I know that word is used all the time now, but it describes my fear at that moment perfectly. It was in being able to talk with others that gave me a type of support I didn't even know I was looking for until it found me. Now here I am, not really finding myself but more like stumbling into life. My love life sucks or actually isn't, zip, zero you get the pic. I am in a good spot now however. Meaning I never really think of being gay or not gay, I am just me and all that worry and obsessing about being gay is gone now. I never thought I would get here, not sure when it happened but I guess this is my arrival, buuut less dignified than a romantic movie scene in an airport, more like tripping over pots and pans down the stairs when I'm trying to be quiet.

Dusting off the blog.

Whew whew fff aheh! Cough cough! Getting the
dust out of this blog. Yikes! Is that a spider? My big moment back on here will be to say, oh how I f&$#ing hate this over bearing spell check! Ah!
It keeps changing what I want to say. That's it moment over.

A hehmmm? Is anyone still out there?

Just to let anyone who may be passing by know, I'm doing okay, my Mom not so good however but that can be expected. The reason I'm not posting is because there is no $*&$# net access where I am staying at the moment. There are wolves, bears and wild turkeys but no net!!!!! Aaaaah! However I'm not upset. ;)

Three gays walk into a restaurant...

Three gay guys walk into a restaurant and sit down together at a table. The first gay man says I'll have the breakfast special, the second asks for the breakfast special also, the third asks for something a little different, then they talk openly about topics regarding relationships between gay friends, gay events, etc. One of the men comments before leaving, about how much better it feels to be comfortable enough to talk openly like this now, and not even realize that they were doing it, I nod my head and agree with him.

Non gay bears!

Greg that super sexy blogger over at Midnight Garden, made me smile the other day with his comment about better raccoons than non gay bears. You mean big man eating bears like this one Greg? You will notice I am taking the picture safely far away from in the house.

There have been two bears taking turns eating the apples from the trees. We have had bears come during the night in past years, usually they slip in, eat some apples and slip away before dawn. We don't mind sharing a few apples with bears if they are really hungry. The thing that I do not like about these two bears, is they have no fear of humans, even banging pots and pans together has no effect. They walk through the barn yards and this angers me because if we had animals there I know they would attack them. They are kind of a stupid animal because they have totally damaged the trees now, one smaller tree is lucky to live through winter let alone have any apples next year.

It is dangerous to wound a bear so we have asked the local hunters to take care of the problem. I am not a tree hugger but my family usually has a live and let live attitude towards wild animals, as long as they do not harm our animals or crops, we let nature take care of itself. The thing about these bears is that some days they will walk into our yard when my poor Mom is trying to hang clothes to dry or when she is in her garden. They even came out when we had guests over with small children running around. The noise would normally keep most bears away for miles, these guys unfortunately will I think become rugs.

As for the raccoons, what I do is this. I take empty tin cans, some old string or wire, some plastic containers, put them all together and place them in the recycling bin to be recycled, then I go get my old gun and blow their furry little asses off!

Okay that sounds a bit harsh, anyway since Greg inspired this post, the next picture is for you Greg, one of my morning glories since you always have nice ones. A more peaceful thought to end with.