Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Voice from the Past.

Sometimes I feel like the "me" from the past is reaching out to me. That the guy who started writing out who he was and where he was going is trying to get my attention to let me know I am going the wrong way. I used to write posts back then about how I wished I could go back to tell the younger me everything will get better, coming out is better. Back then I never assumed I would have to send messages forward in time to get back on track. As I open my blog, all these old posts come forward and when I read them, they are always from the happier times, when I first started dating, first trip with a boyfriend, funny relationship bloopers etc. The posts transport me back to those feelings, emotions, excitement and even though I am enjoying myself with my new buddy, it's not the same. It's like my past blog self is trying to say, "here's where we were, see how happy we used to be, now go find that again". Maybe I need to find the posts on breaking up to counteract the effects of the mushy posts. It's kind of oddly funny that what I wrote back then can be personally recycled to draw strength from.


Anonymous said...

It's like a diary. When I look back on some of my own first posts I sort of cringe. Though I did find a paper diary from my 18 year old self at my parents home a while back and that was even worse!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Oh would I ever like to get my hands on that diary JP lol.
I found a poem I wrote when I was about 16, I felt so sad for that kid, because it was such bad poetry, lol no no, because I was so lonely and scared of being rejected. It ends with me wondering if people ever finding out and the reaction.