Thursday, September 17, 2015
The Danger in Looking Back.
After a breakup, if we could look back, if we could go back in time, if we could reclaim those first feelings, I wonder if the outcome of a breakup could be reversed. I have entered into a very dangerous space of reliving the days when I first started dating my ex. It happened by accident, someone started reading some of my old posts which called the old titles forward. I forgot how much I went into detail about starting a relationship. I made the mistake of reading them, they awakened dormant feelings. I found myself reliving exciting moments, funny moments, intimate moments and a flood of emotions started to return. The excitement of a new relationship, my first real relationship, that's something powerful and I believe it when it's said you don't forget your first. I should have left that genie in a bottle however. I wonder if I had thought to read my posts when things were coming apart in our relationship, if I had sat down with Dave and read some funny moments, awkward moments of our first dates, first weekend together, first meeting of each other's family or friends. Would that have been enough, would that have been the reset button, would it have made us realize why we got together in the first place. Maybe not, maybe life just got in the way, maybe we were too far gone, maybe we would not have been able to draw raw emotions from those posts. I am glad I put those thoughts down, I think most people would enjoy having those feelings return, especially couples who have been together for years. Just right now for me, I will read them another day, because the end of a good relationship is like the death of a friend and sometimes a person doesn't want to relive that loss.