Monday, September 28, 2015

LOL, J.O's A OK!

Well folks, every man's favorite topic, masturbation. Turns out all that practice in high school will pay off if you keep it up. A study out of Montreal has shown that men who continually tug on the goods into their older years, were much less likely to get prostate cancer. Makes perfect sense, use it or lose it principle applies here, we are always told to exercise everything, even the mind. Stands to reason then that the healthier we keep the plumbing, the better to keep the rust out. ............................................ The religious nuts are not going to like this. They have been telling us for years not to touch the merchandise. If God was so worried about spilled milk, he would not have invented wet dreams. You think they would have learned about being wrong after the whole earth is flat with four corners scandal. I mean they even invented a bland breakfast cereal and entrenched penis mutilation to combat self enjoyment. .............................................. It would take Montreal to bring out the truth, as much as Canadians love anything to do with sex, French Canadians love it more. Americans don't like sex, or at least pretend not to like it and they definitely don't like masturbation, they have been trying for years to convince us we will go insane with hairy palms if we play with the garden hose. By teen years most guys are doing it, the ones who are not we call liars. Myself I learned really young, like crazy young, seven! True story, remember I grew up on a farm, we had a milk cow, got an idea in my head and suddenly made a huge discovery that evening. ............................................ To take health matters into your own hands, (intended pun) nothing too extreme, no upside down harness or such things, just empty the sack of goodies, helps to clear out the bagpipes. Recommended dose is five times a week, not sure if it's harmful to go over the limit. Kind of a double edged sword, on one hand (no pun intended) it is great to hear that not only is it ok to do, it's actually recommended to do. However on the flipside, with five times a week, I hate that I have to cut my activities by half.


Ur-spo said...

you show-dog.

larrymuffin said...

I note that French Canadians come in for a lot of praise on your blog, if one reads past entries. Speaking from experience no doubt. LOL!!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Yes, just kidding about the number, who has that kind of time, I am sure Gay Americans like sex Michael, probably why the straights were so uncomfortable around you guys/girls.

I dated a French Canadian and one of my close friends is FC, so yup a little experience, lol.