Still feeling lazy folks and feeling like I just want to be silly, but hey it is the holidays. I'm happy to see so many of you still with me however! I was laughing with a friend today and playing my game of "I must be gay because".
I must be gay because, even though my family has the Sound of Music on VHS and DVD, I still stayed up late on Christmas to watch it on TV. You will be happy to know that though it came close this time, they escaped from the Nazis again. Stupid brown shirts, you would think by now they would have learned the Von Trapps were behind the head stones, or at least guard the cars from the chop-shop nuns!
I must be gay because, today I spent half an hour ironing my top sheet so that it would look and feel crisp when I go to bed tonight, it must double the gay factor that I will actually enjoy the crisp sheet.
I must be gay because, the thing that has me down right now is the fact that the play Mama Mia came to my city but is sold out, so I won't get to see it, even though I already saw it before. Double the gay factor for knowing all the words to all of the songs in the play, and thinking that the rest of the world is finally catching up to me in appreciating the talent of ABBA. ;p
I must be gay because, I cry like a rain forest at the end of every sappy Ghost Whisperer episode when the people say their long long drawn out good byes. I am also thinking not too many straight guys probably watch that show, so I guess we double the gay there as well.
I must be gay because, I used the word 'silly' at the beginning of this post! That is it, nothing heavy I'm just keeping it light. There are enough bad things happening in the world at the moment so I want this blog to end the year on the lighter side. Besides that is the only fluff that is on my brain at the moment
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Mini Post
Still feeling lazy but I will do a mini post today instead of being a total wind bag as usual. It all started when I was five, no just kidding not going to put you through that. The thing I want to talk about is what happened this morning, something minor but it shows me how far I have come in just six months.
This morning the guy I had met here in this city, called to say he was back from visiting his family over Christmas. We spoke a little and he asked if I would like to join him for brunch. Without a second thought I said yes, got ready and went out. While there we had a nice time discussing our Christmases, he was going skiing after and said to bad that I don't ski or I could have come along. Again the thing that makes me happy is that I am getting comfortable enough to just go out with a gay friend and then have a nice time. Six months ago it would have taken a lot to get me to go out with another gay person, plus I would have been sitting there sweating bullets thinking someone would, at any moment, walk in and see me there. As if by being with another guy they would know and start screaming at the top of their lungs, strange yes but the closet keeps a person from thinking straight... um no pun intended. I was totally excited to see him again and the thought never entered of being afraid or ashamed to meet. I'm still taking baby steps but they just feel right for me now, not like before. I can see now being in love and wanting to show off my boyfriend to everyone, before I would wonder if I could find a guy that would not mind hiding 100% and be my boyfriend at the same time. I'll keep making these small steps until I get exactly were I want to be. Meeting for brunch was something minor but when I think of the closeted Steven from this time last year, minor steps suddenly become major steps.
This morning the guy I had met here in this city, called to say he was back from visiting his family over Christmas. We spoke a little and he asked if I would like to join him for brunch. Without a second thought I said yes, got ready and went out. While there we had a nice time discussing our Christmases, he was going skiing after and said to bad that I don't ski or I could have come along. Again the thing that makes me happy is that I am getting comfortable enough to just go out with a gay friend and then have a nice time. Six months ago it would have taken a lot to get me to go out with another gay person, plus I would have been sitting there sweating bullets thinking someone would, at any moment, walk in and see me there. As if by being with another guy they would know and start screaming at the top of their lungs, strange yes but the closet keeps a person from thinking straight... um no pun intended. I was totally excited to see him again and the thought never entered of being afraid or ashamed to meet. I'm still taking baby steps but they just feel right for me now, not like before. I can see now being in love and wanting to show off my boyfriend to everyone, before I would wonder if I could find a guy that would not mind hiding 100% and be my boyfriend at the same time. I'll keep making these small steps until I get exactly were I want to be. Meeting for brunch was something minor but when I think of the closeted Steven from this time last year, minor steps suddenly become major steps.
Friday, December 28, 2007
SORRY CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
Sorry, the staff at sooo-this-is-me ate too much turkey and is completely uninspired and much too lazy to post. We apologize for any inconvenience to our readers and would like to extend our warmest wishes for the upcoming New Year.
Please remember to drive safely, if you have been drinking have a designated driver, take a cab or sleep with the party host.
Please remember to drive safely, if you have been drinking have a designated driver, take a cab or sleep with the party host.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Christmas Wonder
Is there ever the same wonder and mystery to Christmas as when you are a small child. Everything is so real to you, the spirit of Christmas, angels hover all around, excited at the memory of the baby Jesus and silently lending their voices as we practice the Christmas hymns. Heaven and earth seem to move closer to one another in our minds. Going to the local school to watch the older children in Christmas plays and concerts and as small children we would never dream that the whole adult world is in on a secret about the north pole that will reveal itself to us as we get older.
The longest hours ever for a small child to wait through, belong to the night before Christmas. I remember feeling like mass would take forever, I had a bit of guilt about that but I was sure God would understand. When we would get home there was no problem getting us to bed, we understood that the sooner we went to sleep, the sooner Santa would come. We also knew he would get easily spooked if he thought we were awake and might not come so sleep we must. The trouble was sleep always took a holiday on Christmas eve, I would fall asleep but kept waking up every two to three hours. When I would open my eyes and see the darkness of a winter night, it felt like I was about to climb the largest hill, I was in for a long battle of trying to get to sleep only to have my hidden excitement snap me fully back awake again. I felt betrayed by sleep, it was suppose to carry me to the morning, to the point of running down stairs, it was suppose to erase the waiting. Lying in bed I would become aware of the noises down stairs as the large farm house would groan, click and bang as it cooled down for the night. This would cause me to stay perfectly still, I would strain to hear, maybe just maybe it was him placing our gifts under the tree, I had to stay still not wanting to upset or disturb him, very important to let the man finish his job. Finally sleep again.
I would awaken to the sound of something slowly making it's way to my room, still dark out but morning was drawing near and I knew it was my Captain in the war of getting away with things on our parents. Yes my older sister would sneak over to see if I was awake, or wake me which ever presented itself. We would stay there until the blue light of the earliest dawn appeared, this signaled we could go. Not turning on any lights and staying quiet we would head down stairs, a little nervous that a strange man had been in the house and also hoping if he was still there that he would disappear once he heard us coming. As we descended the stairs the Christmas tree would come into view. It was always so magical and breath taking to a small child. Sparkling from tinsel, angel hair and glass ornaments reflecting the soft morning light and gently moving from the currents of air. There they were, at the base of the tree, toys! We did not get many during the year if ever, but this was the mother load! He had been here, on went the lights as we dove in. There was a magic to these gifts, brought in a sleigh by a man who few knew about, one day being built at the north pole the next in my house, in that time of complete innocence you just never thought to question. Mom and Dad would come down and always give each other those little knowing glances when I would say how Santa somehow knew just what I wanted.
I think there is always a little of that small child in a lot of us at Christmas. I don't think there is ever another wondrous time for us like that again, I believe that is why people try to hold onto those feelings, often by recreating it for their children and grandchildren. I still have a lot of the things Santa brought me, throwing them away would be throwing my child hood away, my memories away. I hope this Christmas morning, upon first opening your eyes, that again you will have that innocent wonder of a small child.
The longest hours ever for a small child to wait through, belong to the night before Christmas. I remember feeling like mass would take forever, I had a bit of guilt about that but I was sure God would understand. When we would get home there was no problem getting us to bed, we understood that the sooner we went to sleep, the sooner Santa would come. We also knew he would get easily spooked if he thought we were awake and might not come so sleep we must. The trouble was sleep always took a holiday on Christmas eve, I would fall asleep but kept waking up every two to three hours. When I would open my eyes and see the darkness of a winter night, it felt like I was about to climb the largest hill, I was in for a long battle of trying to get to sleep only to have my hidden excitement snap me fully back awake again. I felt betrayed by sleep, it was suppose to carry me to the morning, to the point of running down stairs, it was suppose to erase the waiting. Lying in bed I would become aware of the noises down stairs as the large farm house would groan, click and bang as it cooled down for the night. This would cause me to stay perfectly still, I would strain to hear, maybe just maybe it was him placing our gifts under the tree, I had to stay still not wanting to upset or disturb him, very important to let the man finish his job. Finally sleep again.
I would awaken to the sound of something slowly making it's way to my room, still dark out but morning was drawing near and I knew it was my Captain in the war of getting away with things on our parents. Yes my older sister would sneak over to see if I was awake, or wake me which ever presented itself. We would stay there until the blue light of the earliest dawn appeared, this signaled we could go. Not turning on any lights and staying quiet we would head down stairs, a little nervous that a strange man had been in the house and also hoping if he was still there that he would disappear once he heard us coming. As we descended the stairs the Christmas tree would come into view. It was always so magical and breath taking to a small child. Sparkling from tinsel, angel hair and glass ornaments reflecting the soft morning light and gently moving from the currents of air. There they were, at the base of the tree, toys! We did not get many during the year if ever, but this was the mother load! He had been here, on went the lights as we dove in. There was a magic to these gifts, brought in a sleigh by a man who few knew about, one day being built at the north pole the next in my house, in that time of complete innocence you just never thought to question. Mom and Dad would come down and always give each other those little knowing glances when I would say how Santa somehow knew just what I wanted.
I think there is always a little of that small child in a lot of us at Christmas. I don't think there is ever another wondrous time for us like that again, I believe that is why people try to hold onto those feelings, often by recreating it for their children and grandchildren. I still have a lot of the things Santa brought me, throwing them away would be throwing my child hood away, my memories away. I hope this Christmas morning, upon first opening your eyes, that again you will have that innocent wonder of a small child.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Christmas Reflection
Since people are beginning to travel and move around for the holidays, I would like to take a moment and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope everyone has family or friends that they will spend the following days with, I also hope you will be surrounded with laughter, funny stories and of course great food. I don't usually get caught up in the frenzy of spending and rushing around like most people. I believe and so does my family that it is about getting together, having a good meal and opening a few gifts. Just small things like sweaters, a book or Cd's. Of course there is mass the night before and I really do love the story of the poor family that had a baby in a manger that went on to change the world.
Some days I feel that I have lost my faith, while other days I feel it is silly not to believe. I do know this however, whether I am Christian, agnostic or become atheist, I will always take part in Christmas. That is not because it is just a fun thing to do, but also to honour that baby born long ago. You have to admit whether you believe he was the son of God, a prophet or just a really good and wise man, he has helped shape the world and shaped it into a much better place. Keep in mind that there is a difference between Jesus and religion. The concept that we are all equal was pretty much unknown at that time and human life was often worth nothing. He sowed the seeds into society that we matter, that everyone of us matters from the poorest person to the richest. That our lives are of equal value because they hold other riches that can not be measured in currency. Even today I believe the values he taught of equality, caring for one another and not hating your enemy are what gave us our freedoms. You only have to look at a non Christian country to see that equality is not a priority. I don't want to turn this into a religious post because I am not a preacher, however when you are celebrating Christmas, I hope you will take a minute to stop and think, because in a world where money, power and fame seem to be the measure of a person, no one has ever had as much of an effect on society today as that little boy born poor, in a manger. Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth.
Some days I feel that I have lost my faith, while other days I feel it is silly not to believe. I do know this however, whether I am Christian, agnostic or become atheist, I will always take part in Christmas. That is not because it is just a fun thing to do, but also to honour that baby born long ago. You have to admit whether you believe he was the son of God, a prophet or just a really good and wise man, he has helped shape the world and shaped it into a much better place. Keep in mind that there is a difference between Jesus and religion. The concept that we are all equal was pretty much unknown at that time and human life was often worth nothing. He sowed the seeds into society that we matter, that everyone of us matters from the poorest person to the richest. That our lives are of equal value because they hold other riches that can not be measured in currency. Even today I believe the values he taught of equality, caring for one another and not hating your enemy are what gave us our freedoms. You only have to look at a non Christian country to see that equality is not a priority. I don't want to turn this into a religious post because I am not a preacher, however when you are celebrating Christmas, I hope you will take a minute to stop and think, because in a world where money, power and fame seem to be the measure of a person, no one has ever had as much of an effect on society today as that little boy born poor, in a manger. Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Shock! How Did That Happen?
Even though I am gay, I do know how babies are made. What really shocked me is that so many straight people don't seem to know. I say this because lately every time I am trying to find real news, the web pages are filled with the latest earth halting story, yes the Spears tramp II is knocked up. At first I felt sorry for her and figured she will now be part of the feeding frenzy for the paparazzi. However what has my eyes rolling is how everyone keeps saying how this "shocked" them. She said how it shocked her, he said how it shocked him, the mother said how shocked she was, the old lady down the street was shocked, some guy in a far off country tending goats on a mountain side was shocked. Shocked how? What part of inserting your penis and ejaculating into a vagina causes babies, do people not understand. This may "shock" many of you but that is how babies have been made since mankind has walked the earth. Shocked is if Bigfoot walked into a mall, if Elvis came out of hiding, or if Clay Aiken turned out to be gay. A Spears having sex and being sloppy or careless about it is not shocking.
The next dumb thing that came out of this, is the statement, "I don't believe in premarital sex," um excuse me? Yes you do! If you did not believe in it, you would not be doing it. Reminds me of that famous quote "I'm still a virgin" while that girl's boyfriend was saying he was having the best sex ever? This is like when a person is caught drunk driving and then they tell people they believe driving under the influence is wrong, no you don't because if you thought it was wrong you would not have kept doing it until you got caught or killed someone. If everyone had of just said 'major oops' and then went on to concentrate on this child having a child I would never think twice about it, just don't come out with these ridicules comments, just because you have a hit CD or TV show, does not exempt you from judging others when you find yourself in the same boat. If premarital sex is wrong in your eyes, then it is wrong for you as well. If sex with another man is wrong in your eyes, then you better not get caught doing it with a stranger in a public washroom. Society has the same rules, detects hypocrisy quickly and you will only end up with extra egg on your face.
The last thing that made me laugh was this morning, a picture of the Spears mother looking like her t-shirt would explode at the breasts, was saying she is going to put her book regarding how to raise children on hold for now, the little brat in me wonders if she is changing the title from 'How To Raise Children' to the new title of 'How NOT To Raise Children!' Should become a best seller everywhere for people with daughters, read the book and do the opposite.
The next dumb thing that came out of this, is the statement, "I don't believe in premarital sex," um excuse me? Yes you do! If you did not believe in it, you would not be doing it. Reminds me of that famous quote "I'm still a virgin" while that girl's boyfriend was saying he was having the best sex ever? This is like when a person is caught drunk driving and then they tell people they believe driving under the influence is wrong, no you don't because if you thought it was wrong you would not have kept doing it until you got caught or killed someone. If everyone had of just said 'major oops' and then went on to concentrate on this child having a child I would never think twice about it, just don't come out with these ridicules comments, just because you have a hit CD or TV show, does not exempt you from judging others when you find yourself in the same boat. If premarital sex is wrong in your eyes, then it is wrong for you as well. If sex with another man is wrong in your eyes, then you better not get caught doing it with a stranger in a public washroom. Society has the same rules, detects hypocrisy quickly and you will only end up with extra egg on your face.
The last thing that made me laugh was this morning, a picture of the Spears mother looking like her t-shirt would explode at the breasts, was saying she is going to put her book regarding how to raise children on hold for now, the little brat in me wonders if she is changing the title from 'How To Raise Children' to the new title of 'How NOT To Raise Children!' Should become a best seller everywhere for people with daughters, read the book and do the opposite.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
My Blond Moment!
I just had a blond moment and I am laughing so hard at myself right now. I can't believe what I did today and you can laugh at me if you want, no not 'with me' this time it is okay to laugh at me! This morning I knew the snowplow was coming to clean the entire parking lot so I was getting ready to dig out my poor little car when I heard him, he came early so I rushed down and started cleaning off the car before I went to dig it out. There was a lot of ice on it so I started the car to warm it up while I was digging it out. I am always paranoid about leaving the keys in the car, I always think what if the automatic locks suddenly lock themselves, then I said to myself, 'it never happened before and everyone else does it. So I brush off my car and "click", yes the doors locked themselves with the car running. At first I did not want to believe it, I kept trying to open the doors hoping it was just ice, but no they were locked. With the car running, the plow getting closer to my parking area and the shovel locked in the trunk which did not allow me to even start to dig myself out, I was in a panic. I ran the seven floors up to my apartment to get the spare set, then ran back down. Walking up to my car feeling embarrassed but relieved, I pressed the 'unlock' button, nothing happened, stunned I tried the other doors, still nothing. I thought if I could just dig out a bit, maybe the car would warm up more and release the locks, but when I pressed to open the trunk nothing happened. I was really under stress now and not thinking clear. I ran back up and called the company I got the car from to see if there was some hidden trick or if they had heard of this before. The lady was very nice, she said she never heard of this happening before and then asked me the most embarrassing question I ever heard, "did you try your key in the door?" "Umm no" I said sheepishly "there wuzz ice'n stuff" I said completely lying through my teeth to save what was left of my manhood, "I'll go try that now" and much to my relief and ego shattering embarrassment, the key worked! I don't think I have ever used the key to open the door since about a month after I bought the car. That is my excuse, if you care even a little about me you will accept it!
HOT GUY ALERT!
I went Christmas shopping today and when noon time hit, I just wanted something quick so I went to a burger joint, while there eating, a really good looking man about my age sat at a table across from me. Something about him made my gaydar start to beep! Don't get your hopes up because nothing happened but the thing is, we did that eye contact game. The one where I look at him when I notice him looking at me, then he shyly looks away and then me looking away when he looks back. I just wish we could all get together and create a signal, one that says "yes I am attracted to you" or "yes I am open to meeting you". It is so hard sometimes, now I wonder if he liked me but was too shy to say hello in case I was straight and went nuts in front of everyone, that is what certainly stopped me. Even it would be comforting to just know he is straight and the only reason for him to stare, was because he thought he knew me. We need some kind of gay hand signals (no jokes) that would help us to meet each other, without the straight guys catching on, getting uncomfortable and thinking their sexuality is being questioned.The next guy alert was when I was finished shopping and getting into my car (I remembered how to, this time), there was a nice Hummer parked near my car and if 'Hummer' does not get a gay guys attention then the plate partly reading 'Iteabag' should get it. That made me laugh, until I saw the young guy that came out and got in. F**K me he was hot! I said to myself "yeah buddy, you can teabag me any time!" I guess 'teabag' is more of a straight guy thing however, not too many gay guys would complain I think if a cute friend puts the boys too close.
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