Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Back on the hom-o front!

Things have been going really well between Dave and myself, in some way our separation has brought us closer together. Dave often comes to visit as I will have to stay with Mom until she sells the farm. Mom likes Dave, she of course thinks he is a really good friend but has had one too many shocks lately, so we will leave it at that. Dave did get to meet Dad once last year, that is important to me, Dad liked Dave, he had said to Mom later "he seems like a nice lad".

Last weekend we went to Montreal with two gay friends, actually we met one for the first time as he was on vacation from England, he was easy to talk to and we had fun. The city was having a diversity weekend, lots of cute gay guys around but I of course forgot my camera. If this sounds familiar to people who read "Sticky Crows" Torn's blog, it is because that is the city he lives in. This weekend is the Gay Pride parade in Montreal and we plan on going, mostly because the one in this city is a bit lame, three drag queens and a guy in leather harness, well maybe not that bad, there were actually two guys in leather harness. Any way we want to be with "family", our code word for gay people, Dave or I will say "family" when we think someone is gay, just a silly game we play. Dave and I walked around the city often holding hands, it no longer feels like a huge step for me, a long way from where I was two years ago. To be honest I would still be careful where we do that but Montreal is very open and if you are in the gay village area, no one cares. I laughed to Dave, pointing out that it is mostly straight guys holding onto their girlfriend's hand in the village, maybe they are afraid some guy will hit on them so they are trying to say "see I'm with a girl"! Sorry straight guys, it only makes us want you more! Muhahaha!

This makes me think that it will be two years this month since my first coming out, it just feels so right. I think how well it went, how good and understanding my friend was to me that day. I forget what a huge leap it has been for me, going from not wanting to say "I'm gay" out loud in case the walls might repeat the words, to walking around holding Dave's hand in public.

I confess we went to see strippers the last week in Montreal, well it is not like we do it all the time and heck, I've been a good boy all my life! At the end of the night one cute guy must have been a fireman because he pulled out a hose, we sat there dumb struck, I didn't know they came in that size! We still play the "cute guy game" as well, saying "7" or "10" when a cute guy walks by. I really feel the need to work out however when I'm in a gay village during summer. A friend asked if I was in hot shape, would I walk around with my shirt off? I am a total yes on that, I would want to show off the goods, I don't see any problem with that as long as I kept a healthy attitude about it. There are guys that are so hot, they know it, they show it, however they are sweet hearts and fun to be around and that is okay in my books.

Dave and I have been taking time to get away together, we have taken in a few sights as well. I feel now that it is just part of working at a relationship and no longer working at 'being gay' and I think this is a good place to be.


Anonymous said...

It's so good to read your blog once again. I think you and I both came out around the same time so I'm always interested in how you guys are doing.

That's so funny because Paul and I do the same thing about "rating" guys . .just for fun, and the use of "family" too. We also hold hands but we are careful about where we are at. Two years ago I never would of ever thought of doing that!

Of course though I have never been to see any strippers. I am feeling a great loss here. ;-)

Good to hear from you on here again. I'm sure you a great source of strength for your Mom as well. Hope she is doing alright.

Wayne said...

Welcome back Steven!
And for the use of "family," and "rating" guys, we've been doing that a long time. And after 32 years, Craig will still not let me hold his hand in public. Old paranoia dies hard.

Greg said...

This was a sweet post to read. So glad to hear that both your parents have met Dave and like him. That's all that matters right now... sometimes the rest just falls into place as it will.

I'm so happy to hear the two of you have found some time to get away to a hand-holding-friendly kinda place. Let me know when you start thinking about visiting the seashore! ; )

Birdie said...

I am thankful for your time together with Dave, that you have his loving support. Sounds like you had a good time in Montreal.

When I walk the rail trail with the girls, we rate the men who trot or bike by: 7, 9, etc.

john said...

Hey buddy!!
Just dropping by and checking on you.

Java said...

Your blog was one of the first ones I found when I started reading blogs. I was interested and/or curious about the coming out process. You and Tobey and a few others have made such huge leaps into healthy self acceptance. I'm so pleased.

Glad you and Dave are spending some good time together. Sounds like Montreal was fun!

daveincleveland said...

i am so happy for you and david are doing so far as mom give her time...she needs you alot right now....its good to read your blog again.....
hugs from cleveland

Topher said...

This is really nice to hear about you and Dave :) Hmm, I wonder if your dad 'knew' for him to make a comment like that.. Hugs