How do you say goodbye when you know it will be forever, do you just pretend like nothing is happening or do you take the time to sit down and say "I love you, thank you for everything Dad". Do you say goodbye when the word takes on a new meaning, a truth that can crush you if you think about the loss for a split second.
You made it to fathers day Dad, we had hoped so hard for that, we wanted to tell you how special a Dad you were to us and needed the excuse, however you became so ill that weekend and then we could not go within five feet of you holding one of those cards, it was too final for us, we were not ready to say goodbye yet and so they sit on our dressers, they will never be opened, it is just too raw for us now.
I have to let you go now Dad, there is nothing more I can do. I can't save you anymore, just one more sip of water, just one more spoon full of soup, it does not help now, I have lost. There are no special moments, no smiles or jokes at the darkest times, only sadness and suffering. I feel sick inside all the time as I watch you slip away. How do you say goodbye when 'goodbye' will be from that sad day forward, 'I love you' will mean my whole life crammed into that one little word and thank you for 'everything' will be everything from the day I was born onward.
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14 comments:
Steven - so sorry this this is going on....thinking of you and your family.
Steven, no love, no caring as strong as yours is ever lost forever. You will always have him even if he isn't physically with you. I'm something like twice your age and I know this--there people whose passing has meant a huge loss for me but they remain daily in my life and will always be there to inspire me and guide me on. He will be there in that way for you.
Bless you and your family.
We shall never forget our loved ones. Take great care of yourself Steven!! You and your family are in my thoughts.
((((Steven))))
Steven, I'm so sorry about your dad. The sun will rise tomorrow, amazing as it seems.
(((((Steven)))))
No words are ever enough. For me, "I love you" seemed the best thing to say in those final days. He knew, as did I, all that went with it, but saying I love you and holding his hand (or hugging him while he was still strong enough to receive hugs) said all that needed to be said.
You're in my thoughts. *hug*
So sorry to read that there is a finite time that your father will lose his battle. Praying for strength and guidance at this sorrowful time. ((((((Steven))))))
Say everything that needs to be said, over and over. I continue to keep you all in my prayers.
Say whatever you feel. I was 2,000 miles away when my Dad died, but they held the phone up to his ear and I just kept saying "It's all right, I love you, we all know you love us". You just say what you feel.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It will all be okay, somehow. Hug.
steven no words can possibly express what you are feeling right now, saying i know what you are going through means nothing unless you have traveled that path as well...my prayers, my thoughts, my hugs are with you and your family...keep the faith,stay close and just show your love
hugs from cleveland
dave
I'm so sorry Steven. Tell him everything you want to tell him. Make sure, if only for your own sake, that he knows you love him. I'm sure he does, but say it anyway, in whatever way you can. Let the pain be there too, it's a part of it. As I've had to learn recently, our grief is testimony to how much we love someone.
I'm thinking of you, and your family.
The last thing I said to my Mom, 49 days ago, was "I love you." That says it all. I'd give ANYTHING for five more minutes with her, but I have to settle for my many memories. I can't say it's easy, because it's the hardest thing I've ever had to endure. Accept love and sympathy from others, and put one foot in front of the other. That's all there is. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
This was beautifully written Steven.
Know that I'm thinking about your family...and keeping them in my prayers.
Holding you and your Dad and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers, Steven.
Love and hugs to you.
Thinking of you Steven.....
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