Tunnel Vision or Train?

 When I was in my early thirties, I was staying with an aunt and uncle. They were really kind to me and I became closer to them. I said one day that time seems to be passing faster and faster now that I'm in my thirties. My uncle who had entered his sixties at the time, laughed and said "just wait until you're my age, you won't believe how fast the years go by".  He said it's like being in a long tunnel, the light at the end doesn't seem to change in shape much until you are getting closer to the end, then it gets larger and larger really fast. 

That uncle passed away last week, he was a few weeks shy of 90. Even though I remember that conversation like it was only three years ago, here I am just a few years away from being the age he was at the time. I also have to say that I was sad but that I'm happy for him because he and my aunt lived a full and interesting life until the end.

When I started this blog, it was about coming out as gay, that was my major concern at the time. I can't believe the way things have changed since I started the blog, I never thought there would be things like an LGBTQ resource center at my work etc, etc. I remember a time where it was better not to say you were gay at work. However being gay is no longer what is on my mind.

Getting old.. that's all I ever think about. Even shocking to me is that this blog will turn twenty in a couple of years, how did this happen? So many many people are gone from my life now, I'm tired all the time, there have been so many changes and most are not good. I feel like I have just put myself in gear so that I just keep moving forward because we have no other choice. I totally see my uncle's point now, every day seems to be Friday or Monday morning, I feel like I should just leave up the Halloween and Christmas decorations because it's always time to put them up or take them down. This January the Y2K scare will be 25 years ago, Gen X will begin to turn 60 and I will be there in a couple more years. Sheesh 🙄 🤷.

Covid 🙄

 At the end of this month, it's hard to believe but it will have been four years since we first started hearing serious rumblings about some virus called Corona. We had been hearing reports but were told not to worry. I'm bringing it up because during all this time, I have avoided getting it.. until now. 🤦

 Fortunately the virus is no longer like the original virus, plus we have ways of fighting back. I didn't get the shot this year and that may be a factor but I think mostly it's because everyone at work either just had it or has it, starting within the last three weeks. For my version, I would describe it as having a mild flu and a bad cold, both at the same time. I felt that I probably had contracted covid because of the rapid way I went from feeling normal at work to being really sick within two hours. Fortunately I'm starting to feel better.

 Looking back, it's such a bizarre moment of our history, not just the virus but all the weird events, political and more that were spin-offs from it. Sometimes it almost feels like a bad dream, like it didn't happen, until we are suddenly reminded that it did. I have made the best efforts to move on from it, most times I don't even think about it anymore. Unfortunately I see people that have been changed by the pandemic, they are still stuck back in 2020 during the peak, paranoid and afraid, I hope they will get past it.

 Unfortunately covid sent me a little reminder this week, at least I have an excuse to stay home and lie around watching tv.

A day off.

 I'm a little under the weather today so I stayed home, nothing serious. I thought I should post something so that I don't get a lecture from.. Mr Lurker 🤭. 

 Hmm, what to say. It's hard not to start pouring out my thoughts regarding getting older, I mean that I did have an idea that it wouldn't be fun but I just feel beat down all the time. I have just realized that no matter how much sleep or vacation or eating healthy or exercise I get, I will never again shake the feeling that I was at an all night party, even though I wasn't. It seems that every teen idol I had is celebrating a 75th birthday and I am shocked every time. A friend's daughter said to me the other day that she and her husband can't afford a honeymoon until sometime in 2025, I laughed because in my head I was thinking ten years from now, then I realized that is next year. 😳

 We were in Cuba for a week after the New Year. It was great, perfect weather, drinks, food and beach. It's my second time there. The thing about Cuba is that it's very inexpensive to go, however if you have never been there, you have to be warned about what to expect. It is a third world country under a communist government so you really have to lower your expectations. There's not a lot of choices regarding food and it's almost impossible to get anything there, the markets are mostly filled with trinkets for tourists. Unless you want alcohol or cigars, there's plenty of that. As usual I didn't get any colour, thanks to my pasty white Irish background. I will also say that most Cuban men are very handsome. If you decide to go, it's best to go with a group of people, it's more fun that way. 

 Thanks for all the comments on my last post, I always read every one, I seem to be having trouble responding to them individually, yay technology 🙄.

Wait, the year is over?

 I will start off by saying, that I hope all of you have a good year in 2024. I can't believe I just typed that, seems unbelievable to me that it's been twenty four years since the Y2K bug was going to erase modern society. 

 The truth is that some of us will have a good year and some of us will not, that's just life and there's not much we can do about it. Now that I'm past age 45.. well past 45 (yikes), I think I have learned to just go with the flow, it's the only way to keep my sanity, lol.

Me and the Mrs (he hates it when I call him "the Mrs") are not going out tonight, we're the boring gays and there will be no dancing, dressing up and having fun. We will probably eat chips and watch a movie. Plus we have to rest up, we are actually going away to a sunny beach location the following day.

 I just wanted to get in one last post for 2023 before time runs out. It was mostly a good year for me with the exception of losing mom, however we had already said goodbye to mom years ago and we actually felt that she was at peace now. I did some traveling this year and met a lot of great people, work was good and my partner and I rescued a dog. These experiences make me wish I had been more adventurous and outgoing when I was younger but I can't change the past, I can only continue on forward.

Have a Happy New Year everyone. 🥂🍾🎇

The Clock Keeps Ticking.

  I'm just wondering how everyone feels about this, as I get older I have this sense of losing time, I don't mean being distracted, I mean time is running out. I find myself being very envious of my family and friends that were fortunate to land government jobs. Since we are mostly around the same age, they are all either retired or retiring. It's not that I don't think they deserve being retired, I just wish I could be retired as well. I actually like working but I wish it was part time, I feel like I'm missing out on life and I can't get that time back. I've reached that point in life where I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, as a train barreling down on me. 

 I'm not trying to sound depressed or anything like that because I'm definitely not, it's just some days I will think to myself, "it's a beautiful day out, I only have a certain number of those left and I'm stuck in here working at a desk". This feeling is getting stronger and stronger, sometimes almost a sense of urgency to it. 

 The other thing that gets to me is the way life can throw curve balls. Some of my older cousins and friends have done everything right, they took good care of their health, they had good jobs with benefits and pensions, they retired with no debts, they were about to start enjoying life.. but suddenly have been handed life altering illnesses, they will not be enjoying retirement. That is one thing I learned after how things turned out with my parents, you can never know how life will turn out. 

It's a beautiful cool Saturday morning, I'm here at the farm. I am going out to enjoy my garden. 

September? Say whaaat?

 Where did the summer go? One minute it was April and the snow was finally melting, now suddenly I had to turn the car's heater on driving home last night. September first, meh actually I'm okay with this, most of the summer here was hot, humid with wild fires everywhere (*cough* *cough*). Then by middle of July we started having weekly tornados, especially where I work (thanks climate change), so I'm okay with some cooler fall weather.

The fall Fairs have started with their delicious "bad for me food", so I may take one in. I used to hate September for many years because it meant the end of summer but mostly because it was back to school and I hated every second that I was in school. However I'm over that now, September and October can be great months, warm days with cool nights and noooo mosquitoes, (very important in Canada).

Anyway back to school Tuesday for the kids, then Canadian fake Thanksgiving, Halloween, then Thanksgiving for the crazy people south of Canada, then Christmas, Happy New Year then we start over. I need to sit down. 

Is this mic on?

 Hello people.. well if anyone is still around? 🤷 I have not been posting mostly because life moves on. I actually think about the friends I made on here a lot. I think that I started posting around 2006 or 2007, I can't believe in a few more years it will be twenty years since I started. 

 On a sad note for me my mom passed in June, I have very mixed emotions about it, on one hand I miss her but on the other hand she is at peace now. Her dimentia can no longer humiliate her. 

My job is going well, I have a great boss and I enjoy working with my coworkers. I'm in a relationship now, it's been a year in April, we have been living together since last October. We are on vacation together at the moment. 

Take care everyone, I just wanted to stop in and say hello. I have come to also realize that the people in this blog world are very special and beautiful people inside. When I see all the other social media sites and the people on there.. I think how lucky I was to find the blogosphere instead. 🥰