Moments captured in a mind.

 Last night I went out after dark to check on the animals before bed. Standing in the yard I felt the complete beauty of nature and no phone or camera would be able to capture it. The moon was rising to light up my little valley, the temperature had turned a refreshing cool, not cold but enough to keep the bugs away. The frogs and tree toads were belting out their spring chorus and best of all, the fresh cool air was amplifying the scent of lilacs, apple blossoms and wild cherries. It's one of those moments where you just nod your head and agree that life is good, right at that moment, in that place, and there is no way to capture that moment in its full beauty like just being there.

Steve goes on a date.

 In spite of my first bungling connecting with a guy, I turned that mistake around. He was very understanding when I explained me being a newbie at dating again, he said not to worry. I had started an email thread and we were going back and forth getting to know a little about each other. He was eager to meet and I understand why, sometimes guys will string you along for weeks but never meet with you. Meeting would be difficult for me but I decided I had better do it otherwise he would grow tired of me if I kept making excuses.

 His work was actually on the way to my work so meeting would not be that difficult. He kept telling me his after noon hours were flexible and kept wondering when we could meet. Sunday, I asked to meet with him over lunch on Tuesday  and he agreed. Yesterday I was so nervous my stomach felt sick but in the evening I told myself that he seems to be a nice guy, that nothing will probably come out of the meeting but hopefully at least a friendship will, and I just need to relax. This morning I wasn't terribly nervous, I felt good about it, I picked out something special to wear to hopefully look a little extra "dateable" I had a new Chaps shirt just waiting for a reason to be worn, I even got a haircut.

 Driving in to the city I was a little nervous again but I still felt good, as I said, I wasn't going in to the meeting with any expectations, that way if something just didn't click, we would part ways and that would be it. I thought it would be nice to make a gay friend and maybe he would introduce me to other gay men. Suddenly a thought hit me and it scared me. What if he is the one, what if you find yourself back in a relationship, there's much more regarding the dynamics of a couple than a single person.

 I wasn't sure about the coffee shop so I arrived early, there were others similar to it and I was a bit confused. He wasn't online yet so I couldn't confirm. I googled it and I seemed to be in the right place. I found it strange he wasn't on line, he usually is around noon. He also didn't check last night to double confirm. I sent him a message I was there early and waited, we were not supposed to meet until one. Looking out into the parking lot I had this image of a familiar man sitting on my car hood, he was shaking his head at me, letting me know he felt sorry for me, it was Mr Bean.

 "He's not coming" Mr Bean said in that funny voice of his, "you should have called this post, Mr Bean goes on a coffe date". Pointing at his watch it read seven minutes past one, even though he was only seven minutes late, I knew in my heart he wasn't coming. When I looked up, Mr Bean was gone. I waited until 1:30, then got something to eat and left a few minutes later. He seemed like such a nice down to earth
guy and was so eager to meet, of all the scenarios that played out in my head, positive or negative, the thought of him not even bothering to show up was not one of them.

Smooth moves from the Dating King.

I was not aware that I had left my phone open to a dating site that I was trying out. I heard the beep meaning a message came through. I froze because I had made contact with one guy who seemed normal. I had hoped to just email back and forth with him a little at first. However now I was trapped, he would be able to see that I was on and also that I had read his message. Doing anything other than answering would spell disaster towards meeting him.

 I came on and started emailing back and forth with him, he seemed nice. We were exchanging emails when he suggested that we should meet some time over the weekend. I panicked, what do I do, what do I say, what if he hates me! This is all very foreign to me, so I said "no" because I had family stuff to do over the weekend (which was a complete lie and I actually said "stuff"). Suddenly I dropped the phone, wet myself and crawled under the bed to suck my thumb in the fetal position. I am such an idiot.

 I decided to try and turn this blunder around, I confessed to not being hip to online dating. He said that he understood, we chatted a little more and he said he had to go. I guess I have signed up for the waiting game, if he makes a second attempt I can't shut him down again, I know that would be the end. Maybe I will become a monk, like all the other gay men with issues.

Get that thing away from me!

 First in honour of my last post regarding bugs, I would like to announce that the annual swallowing of the first black fly of the year, took place this evening. Anyone who has dealt with black flies will understand this event. I found the 2018 fly to be sweeter but less juicy than the 2017 and 2016 versions.

 When searching out my potential mate for spring rampage, there are a few things I check for that are a no go. Like smokers, yuck no that's not happening. Some think it's cool to list "drinks heavily" with a bunch of lol lol following that sentence. The big one for me is "never enough drugs" nnnnnNOooooo! Next!

 Keep that thing away from me! There is another no no for me that I worry about. Gay men being direct and to the point, list their stats down to the size of their... you know.... yes I mean that thing, so when I see profiles listed as 8.1 to 9.5 and the picture backs up the claim, ummm I need to think about injuries. Especially if he is listed as top, I think a 9.5 should be kept on a leash, I don't want "that" anywhere near me! It's going to be just my luck to find a great guy who one day asks me if an eleven and a half would bother me, maybe I could rethink the "never enough drugs" guy.

The Hordes Arrive!

 Lock up your children, bring in your pets, close your windows, seal your doors, the hordes are arriving. This spring came very late for us, it has been unusually cold, one bonus to this is that there have been no bugs. When I say bugs I don't mean ants or cute little lady bugs, I mean blood sucking, nerve fraying, ear buzzing little bastards call black flies and mosquitoes. Last year was epic with all the rain, there were clouds of them and they lasted well into fall.

 It has been surreal this year, I can be working out in my garden and there is a feeling like something is missing, that's when I realise that normally I would be doing the mosquito dance. Slap your knee, swat your head, whack your shoulder, squish them dead! Now everyone spin around and start over. However this year had been great, unfortunately I procrastinate. Last night I could hear one lonely little mosquito trying to get in, nice try buddy but it's not happening. I thought I better get the outside looking better faster, one means the others will come soon. This morning I was reading blogs near an open window and could hear two of the little buggers trying to get in, I thought uh oh they will start soon.

After a warm day today, the gates to bug hell swung open and clouds of the evil little s..uckers descended onto the farm. The cats are looking at me, "oh hey no, there's no way we are going outside"! There is this constant whirring droning sound like an electric motor about to die. My window screen is brown with mosquitoes trying to get in and have a piece of this sweet sweet Canadian sugar (lol). I should have moved faster to get my yard work done, now where is that bug spray?

Watching South Park Drunk.

Drinking and watching South park when feeling down is something I highly recommend. I was feeling down about certain things Sunday night and I couldn't sleep. Monday was a holiday and I also had this craving for something filling. Now I confess that I am a cheap date, I don't really drink so it actually doesn't take much to get me feeling tipsy. I don't have much choice out here in the country tv wise, I was watching the news and when it ended South Park came on. I was feeling pretty light headed by then so all the stupid jokes were that much more stupid. It was the perfect episode for me, it was a spoof on illegal immigrants but being South Park, instead of Mexicans coming in across the borders, it was hordes of Canadians, ( you have to watch those Canadians). I nearly wet myself when they were teaching people the alphabet song in Canadian, stupid in real time, hilarious in tipsy time. At some point I felt sleepy and went to bed.

 Just before the news at eleven came on, I caught the end of some awards show. They brought out the rap group Salt & Pepper to receive an achievement award. Now being a white boy from a farming community up in Canada, I am not qualified to judge rap music. I don't like most of it to be honest but it's probably because I don't have a cultural connection, except Drake maybe, I like a lot of his pieces (a good Canadian boy). I felt there were a lot of good rap songs back in the day when I could still shake my little asset. It's funny how back then rap, dance and hip-hop were fighting to get recognised, now they are part of the main stream with pop music and it's now rock that has been scrubbed away from awards shows.

 They said it was thirty years ago that Salt and Pepper came on scene, thirty years that really shocked me, after thirty years Sa Sa Salt and Pepper is still hip (I think maybe only Maddie will get that). The ladies performed a bunch of their hits and I think they proved my point about good rap songs back in the day, every star and singer in the audience was on their feet shaking booty to the sisters great tunes, I will also say even as a gay man, I noticed the ladies still looked delicious after thirty years. It was like the show ended with a party, they deserved the award, good job. I don't think too many places in thirty years will be jumping to today's rap songs screaming "slap the b..ch"! Wow, thirty years... where did it go?

What's in a Name?

 I have learned a trick or two already with trying to meet guys, you can tell by the profile name they give themselves, as to either they are looking for a relationship or they are a perverted sex freak and may I just add, not the good kind of perverted sex freak. If looking through profiles you come across nice looking men with profile names like, Seeknfriends, Hikes&bikes, Moviebuff then you are pretty safe to check out their profiles. If on the other hand you come across profile names like, Bangmehard, Yummycum, Breedmeraw then I strongly suggest that you move on, well unless you own a crabs breeding farm. It almost becomes a game, Hockeyguy safe, Rammyhole not safe, Likes2garden safe, Spankdadsass not safe! I think that I'm catching on.

 The other thing that is becoming annoying is the men around my age and older are looking for much younger guys. I see there are a lot of young guys willing to be kept by older men but that to me is not a relationship more like a business proposition, the love runs out if the money runs out, money for sex... isn't there another name for that? To be fair there are a lot
of May/December romances between guys, if the love is real, I think that's beautiful. Plus I don't really want to be with an older guy who craves twenty somethings. I wouldn't have the patience to date someone so young.

 Full disclosure, I probably should mention that a couple of twenty somethings did try to signal interest but I'm not responding, I'm nobody's daddy.