Saturday, January 6, 2018
Hopeless romantic, that's me.
During the holidays I happened to turn on the tv and the movie Brooklyn was playing. I missed the first part but it was basically the story of an Irish girl moving to the US during the fifties. I was soon swept up in the romance of the characters, it was sweet, the shyness of characters, the innocence and the courtship of the couple. It made me think of my own parents, they would have actually started dating around this time in history, there would have been the same etiquette and protocols. I was having a mushy gay moment, then suddenly everything screeched to a slamming halt! The young woman needed to return to Ireland so the couple who could barely hold hands went back to her room and fucked, then they got married the next day and off she went to Ireland to immediately start dating another man while waiting to return to the States. Sorry for using the "f" word but I did it for dramatic effect, I was pissed. Congratulations Hollywood for ruining a good romance. They didn't go far enough, they should have developed her character to become an alcoholic, syphilis infected whore, who is found passed out in the gutter lying in her own vomit. ............................................... Funny sounding maybe, but I was greatly offended. The writers especially of today just would not understand or maybe not even believe the decency of many people during those times. Knowing now the filth that has been running the entertainment industry for years and realizing that it was actually a lot worse than I thought, I am not shocked. I can just see some creepy little director, lets get them to f¢*k and then hiding in a room somewhere rubbing himself. ............................................. I remember once talking with a married friend, we were talking about people having affairs and he was saying that he and his wife have a don't ask don't tell policy, that they hope each other doesn't stray but that they don't want to know if one of them does. He said he felt that his father probably had an affair when he was younger, then he asked about my parents. I laughed when he asked, he tried to say that you never know (which is true) but I went on to explain my parents. My parents never dressed in front of each other, if one parent needed to enter the washroom while the other was taking a shower or bath, they would wait until the bathing person covered themselves with towels. When younger they never kissed, hugged or held hands in front of other people including my sister and I, they felt that was a private moment that only they should experience. My mother could never understand why a woman would get married a second time, especially if she could no longer have a family. My dad would not be friends with a man who had an affair on his wife, he would be afraid of appearing as approving of the affair and that would taint him as well. He would only go to a male doctor, not because he thought a man was better than a woman but because it felt inappropriate for him to be around another woman in such a way. They were raised in a different time, I tried to explain to my friend, if they wouldn't sit down and talk to people of the opposite sex, if they wouldn't even undress in front of their own spouses, what would possess them to get naked with a stranger. I think now as well you can see why I never told my parents that I'm gay and I have absolutely no regrets about not telling them. I should also probably make it clear that they were not some type of religious nuts, just really decent people, their views also relaxed a lot as they got older. I guess what I'm ranting about here is that in the real world, romance did and still does exist.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 12:41 PM
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I never told my mother I was gay and I don't regret it either....too much drama!
But coming out to my sisters and brother was a wonderful experience for the most part.
My twin sister was surprised and said so what....my elder sister just hugged me and my brother cried
My aunt and uncle are the same way as your parents. This year they will be celebrating their 70 wedding anniversary. But I know they had sex...t least six times as they have 6 kids. But they sleep in separate bedrooms now for years.
And Hollywood and tv today. Meh. People wonder why I watch so much British television.
Your depiction of your parents sounds just like my parents. I don't think I could tell my mother about my sexuality. It would probably drive her insane. She is the ultimate conservative.
Good for you for holding true to your values. they are good ones.
Oh Steven! You are such an innocent! One day you will hit puberty and learn that young romance includes more than wistful glances and malted sodas at the drug store. Why, I bet in their more hormonal pre-child years even your parents let their urges get the better of them. Who knows? They might have been seen holding hands even before they were engaged, never mind married!
Personally, if I had a beau who was to be deported to Ireland, I would also be tempted to have a fond farewell.
John lol, my sister said she knew but was waiting for me to tell her, I was the one that cried. I think it was the relief of no longer hiding.
Steven, same with my parents, they had separate bedrooms when they got older. Mostly because my father could drown out the sound of a chainsaw with his snoring.
Michael 54, it would have been just too awkward to have that conversation with my parents. They would have preferred me to say nothing to them, just like they never spoke to their parents about their sexuality, for them a doctor would be the person to speak to.
Dr Spo, well..... there are some tracks in my snow, I am still romantic at heart but life sometimes limits a person's options. What I was trying to get at was that there are people who stick to their convictions and it seemed suddenly out of character for these two people. Not that I would have thought there was anything wrong if the characters were the type to be more open sexually, then that would have been in keeping with the story line. The sudden sex scene felt out of place for the movie, maybe I need to see it from the beginning.
Mr Lurker, a female friend started dating a coworker of mine. After a few dates she told him that she enjoyed his company but she wanted him to know upfront that she was old fashioned and that there was never going to be any hanky panky, that was something she was saving until after marriage. After they were MARRIED he said that her strength was one of the things that let him know she was special. They are still a happy couple today. I'm just saying that many types of relationships exist. I know at the same time my parents were dating, there were also many sudden weddings with miraculous births of healthy babies, who were at full development even though they were born much earlier than their due date.
I suspect it wouldn't be out of your character to have a fond farewell! ;p
How very dare you! I am an old-fashioned lady.
Spinster Lurker, oh yes, yes I know very proper lady at that for sure, I meant that you would probably treat some beau to tea and crumpets before his long journey. What ever did you think I meant?
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