Sunday, July 9, 2017

When Sparks Don't Fly.

How often do we hear about the heart wants, what it wants. Just as powerful; however is the reverse, the heart refuses what it doesn't want and there is no use fighting it. Last week, a friend of mine wanted to meet for supper, I had to cancel and I think I ticked him off a bit. The thing that bothers me is, I think he may want to ask me out at some point. I have known him for almost ten years now and he is a really great guy, thoughtful, kind, has a lot of common sense, has a good job, travels, well rounded type of person. The trouble is that I feel absolutely nothing for him, zero. He is so far from any "type" of guy I like, I would need a map to find my way back. In fact what ever "it" is that attracts me to a guy, he has the antidote for "it". I always say I need to feel a "spark" for someone, if there is no spark when I meet someone, then there is nothing for me to work with and I also know it's not going to change. There is nothing worse for me personally than being in a relationship where I don't feel the connection. I worry that some day he may ask me, I am actually ready with the answer, the best answer, the truth. Simply that I have never felt the type of feelings towards him that creates a healthy relationship. I felt a lot of guilt in my very first relationship because I knew how uneven our views towards each other were, I promised myself never to do that again. So typical of me, to know a really great, single gay man who is looking for a partner and not have even the slightest bit of interest in him.

7 comments:

Ur-spo said...

well that happens.
I agree the best way is to be touched and thank you but (clearly) convey you don't have similar desires. Don't justify or apologize. There is no harm asking and I hope no harm to hear no thank you.

Anonymous said...

You said it yourself. The heart wants what the heart wants. It is weird like that.

Anonymous said...

You can't create feelings that aren't there. Be honest about your feelings. It's the best thing to do.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Yes, the truth is easier I think and I agree, short and sweet, I would only make it worse by rambling on and on.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael 54, yes it's frustratingly weird like that!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Rjjs, yes I learned that lesson from my first boyfriend. Actually that worked out because he turned into a bit of a player after, maybe I ruined him! Lol.

Anonymous said...

I must admit something to my faithful readers. I owe you a dose of honesty, because you deserve at least that much from me. So, here goes ...
ตารางคะแนน