In The Wrong Club.

Some days do you ever feel like you belong to the wrong club or that life played a trick on you and placed you in the wrong environment. Like being born into a family of fishermen but you hate the ocean or raised on a ranch and are afraid of horses. Maybe you want to be a famous singer; however you have a fear of crowds. Me, I get squeamish quite easily, plus I'm gay, two things that don't go hand in hand, in an lol gay sex kind of way. Sometimes when I read people's dating profiles, I am commenting in my head things like "eww oh no, you want what" or "yeah that's never going to happen". I often wonder what is the "norm" for gay relationships now, I wonder if the people looking are a lot more "wild" than the every day kind of gay relationships. I can see being more open to things as I fall in love with someone who would hopefully be a life long partner, but I have no desire to go wild with a stranger. I wonder about this because of what my straight friends tell me, all the studies that come out these days about how couples are much more open about sex, they say "no, that's just fixed, it's less often and much more tame than it was in the beginning". I'm just hoping that when I find someone it will be often (8 or 9 times a week) I just don't want to have to present him with a list of "don'ts" and "really don't even think about it", that could be a relationship bummer. Yes, I'm just kidding about the 8 or 9 times a week, sort of.