Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Thinking to myself.
This morning I woke up a bit early, the early sunshine and singing birds have been doing that a lot lately but I'm not going to complain about spring. Lying there for awhile before getting up, I was thinking life thoughts, happens in the morning while my head is clearing sometimes. I suddenly realized that I am still ashamed to be gay, blame it on where I was raised or how I was raised but it's the truth, plain and simple, I'm still ashamed of being gay. Of course I have come a long way but a large part of how I live my life is because I am still embarrassed to be gay. I still hide it from people at work, even people I know would be positive to the revelation that I'm into guys, plus around where I live, no one has a clue, people still say I should find the right woman. I think this is something that will always stick with me, I can't wash away the years of hurt and insults I have heard straight people say about gay people, even the ones who are understanding and apologetic now. Actions speak louder than words but my inactions speak volumes. Something to work on I guess.