And then one day!

And then one day you wake up and not only do you realize that you are alone, you realize that you probably have waited too long. Sure, people will say nice things about there being plenty of fish in the sea but that is what they are supposed to say. Reality is like a bucket of ice water poured over your head, the truth is all the good ones are already taken, those that are left have issues, issues, issuuuuues. I have issues, we all have issues but too many people feel that only their problems matter and while being ridged about their own life, expect everyone else to work around them. I know people get set in their ways as they get older but what is the point of how you set your table, if you don't have anyone to share it with.

Thinking to myself.

This morning I woke up a bit early, the early sunshine and singing birds have been doing that a lot lately but I'm not going to complain about spring. Lying there for awhile before getting up, I was thinking life thoughts, happens in the morning while my head is clearing sometimes. I suddenly realized that I am still ashamed to be gay, blame it on where I was raised or how I was raised but it's the truth, plain and simple, I'm still ashamed of being gay. Of course I have come a long way but a large part of how I live my life is because I am still embarrassed to be gay. I still hide it from people at work, even people I know would be positive to the revelation that I'm into guys, plus around where I live, no one has a clue, people still say I should find the right woman. I think this is something that will always stick with me, I can't wash away the years of hurt and insults I have heard straight people say about gay people, even the ones who are understanding and apologetic now. Actions speak louder than words but my inactions speak volumes. Something to work on I guess.

Hard at work.

Typical for this area at this time of year, our weather has been swinging between snow and tropical jungle over the last few weeks. The past week has been very hot and humid, resulting in many of the guys that I work with wearing shorts to work. I like the shorts that come to the knees, I think most guys look good in them. I don't like the ones that are really short with a split way up the side, they don't look good on men and I find most of the men who wear them are much older and very pale white in colour. It makes me think of uncooked chicken legs. This is the same reason that I never wear shorts, I think I look like a pale stork or ostrich in them. ............................................ Women have the saying "a good man is hard to find" but gay men have the comical version, "a hard man is good to find". The other day I was walking into my department at work and noticed two guys I know installing something at ceiling level. The guy holding the ladder looked to be in pain or discomfort, he was standing in an odd position as if he hurt his leg. As I approached I suddenly saw his problem, while holding the ladder he developed a raging hardon, the shorts he was wearing probably made things worse by not containing the offending member and I would guess was letting in fresh air which can make things worse, lol. Carlos is not a tall man, nice body but is only about 5.6 or 5.7, so I have to say how impressed I was because from what I saw he was probably 6.5 or 7 lol. As I got closer he tried to turn away from me and also turned more shades of red than I knew were possible, but poor man, he was trapped, holding a ladder, shorts, no way to conceal the problem. I was turned on a little lol, plus it really makes me happy to finally see that happen to someone else for a change because that is the kind of thing that happens to me all the time. Although at "seven" or more I probably would go around with no pants at all, because a little bragging doesn't hurt anyone.