On The Seventh, Eighth? Seventh Day Of...

Everyone hum along, on the seventh day of Christmas my true love is still not known to me,eeeeeeee! I probably would have better luck finding a pear tree with a partridge hanging out in it. Continuing my posting until the twelve days are up. Oh yes after tonight most of the world will have bleached away any reminder that Christmas was only a week ago. .................................. Christmas cactus, many of us were given one of these little guys, an easy plant to keep actually. The trick is to have it bloom at Christmas time. Not hard to do, just a little attention to detail regarding daylight hours, watering etc. My mother was given one years ago, I don't know how old it is but probably before most current pop stars were born. The thing with this cactus is for years it blooms late. Like a drunken Santa that shows up shouting and ho ho hollering to a party after everyone has gone home, this little cactus bursts into flower.... at the end of January, even February once. While we enjoy the colour, a Christmas cactus in January or February is like a pumpkin in January or February, cool to see but out of place. ............................................... This year however I noticed little pink buds forming in November and there were many. I was thinking that they should be blooming right on time, people would think I have a green thumb, it would be natural Christmas decoration. However the buds began to quickly grow large, the blooms became erect pointing skyward, spurting forth colourful petals, but then after the big moment they began to go limp, shriveled and the plant returned to its unexciting self, with two weeks left until Christmas. Yes the Christmas cactus missed the holiday season again, only this time I think it suffered from premature ecaculation.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

Truth, stranger than fiction. Since I am off I decided to correct a little problem the phone company has created for my mother. They have put her name backwards in the phone directory, so for example if her name was Mary Murphy, it keeps coming out as Murphy Mary, oh and with a slight spelling mistake, like Murphy Mery. We filled out the forms, we have sent them in, we have done this numerous times. I called on Monday and asked for the simple reverse and to correct the spelling. When they went in to mom's file, the company had a complete meltdown, I think smoke started billowing out of the main computers somewhere. They didn't know what to do with her file, the problem is it's a simple plan that she has had since the house was built in 1952. No long-distance calling options, no internet, high-speed, low speed, WiFi, satellite tv nope none of that. "I'm sorry sir I can't change it," so on hold I go, back again but to her supervisor, nope he can't help me either, they could hook me up to a guy in India on top of a mountain somewhere but they can't change Murphy Mery to Mary Murphy. Finally after being passed around and around, they switched me to a completely different department, where I sat listening to the same piece of elevator music for an hour. You get suckered in to sitting there for an hour because you keep thinking that any second someone is going to come online and help you. It never happened, I gave up and hung up. Like some bad comedy sketch they couldn't do a simple name change, that is unbelievable. They have been trying so hard to update everything to be more efficient, that they have become efficiently useless. ........................................... I guess I should blog something Christmas-ish. We are going to have our Christmas on New Year's day so I am hoping for good weather. Anyone listening out there, enough with the snow, I am over it! In fact I learned that the day after New Year's day was called plow day, I guess after the farm folk partied for the twelve days of Christmas, it was back to work. Here in Canada it would apply to plowing snow, I got an unwanted jump on plow day, and cold toes day, stiff fingers day and frozen arse day.

On the fifth day of Christmas.....

I can still talk about Christmas if I want, my blog, my rules, besides I think I was told I have to keep the twelve days of Christmas. I think this is the fifth day, according to my math, we don't count Christmas eve if I remember correctly. We finally have snow, too late for Christmas but it's here. I think all the wishing for snow collided in one spot causing a snow dump that made us remember how much we hate that white crap! .......................... I have been torturing myself by watching the worst Christmas movies ever written, one of my local stations has been playing a movie nearly every night and I can't believe that these stories ever made it to production. I laugh and laugh at the predictability of these films, I even turn away for a while because I miss nothing. Tonight, the woman leaves her man at the moment the minister asks "do you take this man" she then runs down the street in her wedding dress, in the rain, meets an old school friend, who tells her he always had a crush on her and invites her back to his place, roll credits. Hahaha, ten year olds could write that, or am I being a b#$*ch.

Careless Drivers and Dangerous Mistakes.

Careless drivers, I hope you never meet one. Today while listening to the news, they ran a story about a guy doing 160 km on a 100 km highway, if that wasn't careless enough, he had taped a screen to his dashboard so that he could watch a movie while driving. Beyond stupid, I don't care if he hurts himself, it's some poor innocent person who always ends up paying for an idiot's mistake. .......'.................................... I wanted to blog about this because of something that happened last Wednesday. While driving to pick up some items, a small van suddenly lost control in front of me as it took a sharp corner. In a split second it crossed over a passing lane and into the oncoming lane, smashed into a guardrail and bounce back, which was lucky because if it broke through, it would have gone over a cliff and into a river. ............................................ Fortunately the young woman and baby in the back were not hurt. It was a miracle that there was no oncoming traffic at that moment. The side of the van was badly damaged, tires flat, rims crushed. The thing that upset me about this is she said that while driving, the baby started to fuss (kid was almost two) when she entered the curve at high speed, she turns around to see why the kid is squawking (it's what kids do) and so she loses control of the van. Let the kid whine, when you are entering a sharp turn, hang onto the flipping wheel! It was real life not a video game where you can put the console down. She kept rolling her eyes as if the accident inconvenienced her, the way she was on the cell made me wonder if maybe it wasn't the baby but rather texting and driving. The final straw for me was when she said that she has already been in three accidents this year, "but none of them were my fault", I wouldn't place a bet on that. .............................................. Later that evening, I realized everyone was in the right place at the right time. Meaning if some family was driving in the opposite lane, she would have hit them head on and it would have been disastrous, or if she hit the guardrail in a weak spot and plunged into the river, or if she met one of the many transport trucks that use the highway, or or or. It's the area I grew up in, it could have been someone I know. One careless moment on her part and people could have died. Even me, to have watched her baby get killed, innocent people on their way home get killed, it would be a memory that would haunt me at every Christmas. People are people and there is probably not much we can do about it, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my mind, they have been racing around and around all week, what if, what if.

Jumbled Holiday Thought.

Allow me to ramble, scattered all over like a toybox dumped out onto the floor. I am having a little Christmas withdrawal. I really hate the way every station, store and newspaper pushes and pushes Christmas from end of October to Christmas day, then suddenly it's like nothing ever happened. Just when it is time to be in a Christmas mood, everyone wants to talk about the end of the year or worse, back to work! Let the turkey cool before we jump to the next step, at least let everyone's drunk uncle/neighbour/brother-in-law sober up before taking down the decorations. ................................... Today we finally have snow, making it look more like the holiday season. I have enjoyed the last few days of our freak September in December weather, I did miss snow on Christmas eve, same thing happened last year, I hope this is not a trend. The drawback last year was it rained all the time, at least this year it was sunny. ....................................... Ok so movies, Miracle on 34th street is cute enough, if I have to pick an oldie but goodie, I like the original, it's funny and has that Christmas feeling. I think however for me personally I like A Christmas Story, I know the critics hate it but the film rings true for me, I feel very nostalgic when I watch it. If I had to pick something animated, Polar Express impressed me, it hints at that magical feeling of being a little kid who still believes, but also that sadness of leaving your childhood behind. ...................................... T.V. specials, hands down it is the Charlie Brown Christmas special, that puts me in the mood. For a lot of reasons but mainly because Christmas day at my grandparents was like a Charlie Brown Christmas, small town, rink across the street, kids all over the place, even a Snoopy in the living room. Sadly I don't get to see that special anymore, I don't have cable and the stations I get refuse to play it because of the passage Linus reads. Sad really, it's just a cartoon. Close second is the Grinch cartoon, I love a good villain, way more interesting. I am horrified by that awful Grinch movie with the "dumb" from dumb and dumber. That film should be destroyed never to be seen again, but that's just me. ............................................. I do have a favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night, but it has to be sung by someone with pipes, yes even Celine Dion or Josh Groban, it can't be Niel Young (lol) or most country singers, or all rappers, actually I think a prison sentence would be in order if a rapper tried it. There are not many new Christmas songs I like, I prefer mostly older ones. I can't recall any that I hate, sometimes a song just needs a different singer or change of style. These are all just my preferences, so of course that means I am totally right about everything and if you don't agree, then you are completely wrong. .......................................... Now like torn wrapping paper and discarded bows, I will clean up the Christmas theme and put it away until next year, cheers everyone, on towards the new year.

Boxing Day! It's Called Boxing Daaaaaay.

I had to post this title because soon I will no longer be allowed to use the term "boxing day". What..... you may be asking if I am losing my marbles, sadly the answer is not a joke, the province I live in at the moment has an absolute hate for the english language and works tirelessly to drive off and out any form of the use of it. Boxing day is now in their sites, they are going to try and ban the use and replace it with a government approved term. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. .............................................. Now that we made it through all the Christmas movies, music and t.v.specials, let the judging begin! I am not a person who believes that there is a "best movie" or "favorite song", that makes it to hard to discuss, too many good ones and, too many bad ones. ............................................ Again this year, they kept running It's a Wonderful Life, I know, I know it's a classic but I don't really like that movie. I find it drags on, after a while I forget where we are heading with the message. Everyone seems to be screaming all the time and at many points I fear for the safety of Mary, George Bailey's wife! Then there are the Home alone movies, number two came on one night, I haven't watched that in years. I watched in horror as a mobster executes his girlfriend with a machine gun for cheating on him. This is supposed to be a children's movie? I hope with all the recent tragedies that none of those families stumble on to that movie. On the cheesy side of movies, to save money the stations ran a steady stream of romance movies, common theme, girl getting married, girl meets guy, girl hates new guy, girl gets stuck somehow with new guy, girl falls in love with new guy, new guy is a free spirit, boyfriend is bad because he is more conservative in his thinking, girl dumps boyfriend just before/during wedding, runs off with flake to live happily ever after. However not before it starts to snow/place star on tree/group hug/lost dog comes home/stopped before getting on plane. Just once I want to see, stops wedding to run off with gay lover. Scrooge (A Christmas Carol) also played over and over, in many forms, I like the older version with Alistair Sim, and it has to be in the original black and white, none of this added colour, I think it detracts from the film. I used to hate that story as a child, it frightened the s#t out of me and I couldn't understand why they kept running it on Christmas. Moaning ghosts in chains, tiny Tim dying, grim reaper, being dragged into hell, yup nothing says Merry Christmas like those scenes. ............................................. Ok I will stop here, it's beautiful out so I want to take advantage of our extra fall. Tomorrow Christmas music, cartoons and movies that put me in the mood (the mood for Christmas that is). Try the chicken, I'm here all week, lol.

Christmas Day

Christmas Day, I don't think I ever posted on Christmas before, I am too lazy to look back so I will go by faulty memory. My Christmas plans changed when my supposedly fixed car decided to leave me at the mall. Bad timing but I'm not a huge Christmas fan so not a big deal for me. ............................................... Christmas Day, the one day of the year where everyone gathers together and ignores their family while playing on their phones! Hey so if you have people around you and you're reading this on Christmas day, then you really suck! Lol, put the stupid phone, laptop, iPad or whatever down and talk to the people around you! Now go have a Merry Christmas or else!