Sunday, May 6, 2018
Individual Sexuality.
I think the more we learn about sexuality, the less it becomes about just being gay, straight or bisexual. I had been working on a post about what appears to me, as maybe different types of gay men. I was going to use as an example something similar, the many different types of men who dress in women's clothing, drag, transsexual, cross dressers etc. I stopped because at the time I was about to post, Mistress Maddie wrote a really good post regarding men dressing in women's clothing, the different reasons for it and with much more knowledge than I have. Just as there are different types of men with different reasons for doing this, I am starting to feel that there are different types of gay men. I have a feeling what makes one man attracted to men, may not be the same for others. I have a feeling that if we discover the causes of sexuality, we will discover different types of same sex attractions. There are many different ways that men are attracted to men, including the different degrees of bisexuality.
I wonder about this because of something that has come up regarding my own sexuality. I have always stated that I am attracted to the masculinity of men. I have no attraction towards cross dressers or transsexuals or any part of the feminine side of humanity. If he looks anything like a woman, nothing is happening below the belt for me.I have mentioned this before that I was a little surprised to make a personal discovery regarding my sexuality two years ago.
An example is last night, I am on the internet and I am up to no good (lol), I am looking for adult entertainment. I click on one site and I see a couple of young men posing for the camera. I see they're perfect, wide shoulders, hair across the chest and down to the naval. Powerful long legs, clean cut with a trimmed beard, gorgeous guys. One guy sits back on a bed and strips down, pushing down his pants to reveal a nice.... vagina. Yes the gorgeous men are actually female to male transgender people, I saw the disclaimer on the site, I clicked anyway because I knew that I would enjoy the video and I am as attracted to them as any other good looking man. I would date a guy like this no issue. Yes, even if he didn't want the final operation, I would be fine with that, more than fine.
I don't feel conflicted by this, I am at the point in my life now where I am finished trying to explain my attractions. I do wonder where that puts me regarding sexuality. I still feel that I am firmly gay, I see those guys as men, not women pretending to be men. I think nature screwed up some where because many of them are much more masculine than an average man, hormone injections alone are not enough to cause that. It's just that these men have different equipment below and strangely enough, that doesn't seem to bother me. I am not saying this to appear more open minded or because I think I should write about being more inclusive towards transgender people. I'm writing this because it's my truth, I am attracted to "female to male" transsexual people, I don't see them as "transsexuals" some kind of second class man, I just see a cute guy.
I know that I'm going to get grief over this, how many times have I joked on this blog about vaginas, but I don't really have a problem with them, it may surprise people but I tend to like taking the top bunk during sleepovers, if I was getting to know someone and was really into them, I wouldn't care if they revealed this. My main point here is that my attraction towards men is different from many of you judging from the comments you make. I'm starting to think that sexuality is a little like a person's taste in music or movies, each person generally has similar tastes to certain groups of people but most people also have very unique tastes as well that set them apart. It's our individual sexuality, just some of my personal thoughts.
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20 comments:
Now this is an interesting surprise and I say to each their own. While it is still more common around her to meet and see more male to female, I have two good friends who transitioned completely, I've only met one guy who was female to male. Last summer I was at the pool where a hot guy caught me attention. No evidence of a female ever. He has years of testosterone treatments, then work out like everyday a the gym. The only thing different, he did have the penis done already. We had a great conversation.
All I can say, it's not to be taken for granted these days to judge a book by it's cover. For you never know what the book is really about. people are people. Period.
But the coochie still scares me. I have yet ever see one, lol!!!!! I just assume they are urban legend to my gay brain.
I'm dipping my toe in uncharted waters here, but here goes. I met my husband to be at fifteen. We dated at eighteen and married at nineteen (not by shotgun thank you very much). I consider him my first (and only) because I don't count my child molester or that odious statutory rapist. We are coming up on our forty-third anniversary in August. I never been attracted to anyone based on gender or appearance. I find I'm attracted by personality. I enjoy looking at physically pretty people but I'm not attracted physically to that aspect of a person. My balder half is it for me. There is a point here, but as usual, I can't recall what it is.
Too many people are attracted to too many things for there to be labels. As Maddie mentioned, people are people.
Maddie, the "coochie" is a many splendored thing! The self lubricating alone is a wonder. Don't get me started on childbirth! It's been forty-one years since the birth of my oldest son, and I still can't figure out how that big headed, barrel chested ten pound baby came out of that itty, bitty hole! Fascinating stuff.
Steven, sweetie, honey, poopsie, I bet you wish that I had stuck with farts, huh?
Steven,
You have written about something that I think about often. I think sexuality is fluid and it isn't something necessarily easy to define. Why are some guys attracted to otters or bears or whatever? Why are some guys bi? I think it all just depends on the person and the innate desires deep within. The human species is indeed a mystery!
The " kids" of today are much more sanguine about all things sexuality nowadays..
Gender fluid individuals hardly raise an eyebrow
Deedles, I agree. Mind and heart come first and that takes time. Btw, we'll reach 42 years next month on Bloom's Day. So, is it true that most women have been raped and or molested at some time in their lives?
My curiosity is not limited to one type over another -- I don't really have a type. Although I've played for both teams (when I was growing up there were only two teams; trans was an option only in Sweden and Denmark), I prefer men now. What kind of man is open.
Top bunk? I love your euphemisms, Steven! I'm afraid a bunk bed is out for us. Would you settle for a trundle bed?
Hey, Mike, I bet those 42 years flew by, didn't they? Mine sure did! I had to look up Bloom's Day. You learn something new everyday.
Now, as for most women, I can only speak for myself and my family. Suffice it to say that The Color Purple is a documentary in my family. My aunt wouldn't go see it because she said she lived it and that was enough.
That's heavy stuff, Deedles. Can I apologize for my gender of the species?
In the beginning the years flew by but now it feels like decades fly by.
Aw, Mike, that's so sweet of you! Don't worry, I never blame a whole group of people for what a handful or more have done. Being black, I know how that feels.
You are so right about the decades! My chronological age is 62. My mind is still 19. My body passed the 100 mark a long time ago :) but my love for my balder half, ninja turtle (he looks like one when he wears safety goggles) remains ageless. GAG!!
Maddie, yes surprising to me as well... lol! I wouldn't go looking for it but if I was starting to have a connection with someone and they sat me down to tell me this, it would not be a deal breaker. Maybe it would be different once I was in the relationship, maybe I would react. On the flip side, if I was dating a guy and suddenly one day he came over dressed as a woman and said he was becoming a woman, that would be a deal breaker, it would be over.
Deedles, ahh I am so sad to hear someone hurt my friend Deedles, makes me sick to my stomach. I can't say any more, I'll get into trouble.
I love your relationship story, teenage sweethearts that's awesome! I know a lot of gay men have a lot of partners but if I could have controlled life, I would have been happy to meet one guy out of high school and spend the rest of my life with him.
Yes you did make me squirm there at the end but I'm the one who brought up vaginas on guys.... so I guess I kind of asked for it! Lol.
Michael, I think we are just beginning to understand how complex sexuality is. Maybe that's why religions were always trying to define and control it.
John, yes and for the better. Society is healthier when people are allowed to live the way that feels most authentic to them.
Mike, I usually got picked last for any team lol. You take the trundle bed!
Deedles, sadly almost every woman I know has a story. From minor harassment to full on assault. Hopefully things will change now.
Mike I forgot to say 40+ years, that's awesome, I think that is 752 in straight years!
Don't apologize for our gender, just punish the ones that act like a perverted freak.
I still feel 30 in my mind, it's my body that is starting to let me down, I find every chore I do makes me think I deserve a nap after.
Yup, we're not all pigs, just some work at making it look that way, their time has come!
Lol, ninja turtle safety goggles.
You can't help who you're attracted to, or what turns you on. It's part of you. I think some of the FTMs I've seen online are really hot. I would have a relationship with a FTM. I'll try most anything at least once.
I say go for it. I wish we would stop trying to put labels on everything. I think people should enjoy the people they are with and others should stop judging if it's outside what some perceive as normal.
RJ, yes I agree completely with you. I think that I am at the point in my life that if I find my soul mate, I really don't care what others think. It's one of the things that made it easier to be out with Dan, I loved him and couldn't care less what other people thought.
Steve how old ARE YOU.
John, why don't you just ask my weight while you are at it too! Old enough to stomp my foot and say I don't want to talk about it!
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