Gay Role Models

 I happened to notice that I have a large number of drafts sitting there doing nothing, waiting to be finished. I decided to go back and try to do some spring cleaning, delete the ones that don't seem relevant and try to publish others. I found this one I was working on right after Carrie Fisher had died. It's about the lead roll being played by a closeted gay young man. I decided to post as is because I like the way I felt frustration with a post that was feeling clunky.


 Unbelievable to many, I don't have cable tv or a satellite dish, shockingly I only have an antenna, same as your granny did watching her black and white tv. This leads to some nights with me wanting to relax and watch a show but there is nothing interesting on. The other night I put a movie into (wait for it) my VCR! Yes I still have one and it's actually in great shape. The movie I picked was the very first Star Wars film from back in the seventies. I wanted to see it for a lot of reasons, mostly I think as a good bye to Carrie Fisher and because of all the talk about the latest movie from that franchise.

   There is a scene near the beginning of the movie where we first meet Luke Skywalker, he is feeling restless about having to stay home instead of exploring what is out there. He is standing in the glow of a setting sun (actually two Sun's but that's a nerd thing) and it kinda caught me. What a good looking man, plus he's one of us. As a boy growing up I had a crush on him, at that age I didn't even understand what a crush was but I would feel little shocks in my stomach because of him. I think it's important for young gay people to have gay role models, because I know it would have given me strength to know that one of my heroes was gay just like me. If only at that time people were safe to come out like they do now.

 Ugh... This post is not going the way I want it to. I am not getting across what I'm trying to say. More like I felt sorrow when I saw him standing in the setting sun, sorrow that he had to hide who he was, that I wish I could have known he was gay, someone to look up to instead of the gay stereotypes Hollywood kept throwing out, strange characters that I felt nothing in common with.