Sunday, July 21, 2019
We are having a heat wave but up until tonight I've been enjoying it... lol! Even with the humidity, I think my system was still shell shocked from last winter and finally started thawing out. It's supposed to move on tomorrow and things will get cooler. I don't have air conditioning but usually the house cools down at night, not tonight as it's still 80° Fahrenheit outside. Can't complain as we will start to have frost in another four to five weeks. What happened to July? This month just seemed to happen in a blink!
I'm not online much but don't worry nothing is wrong, a major cell tower that covers my area has been down since Thursday and so I can only get limited internet access at night, during the day and evenings I'm completely blocked, it helps with keeping my usage down lol!
When it's this warm, it's strange how people smell, not like the regular body odor smell when a person is active or didn't shower, it's more like when a big hairy dog gets wet, ewww lol! I'm going back to bed now, I can feel a cool breeze starting to blow in the windows, all this lying around doing nothing has made me exhausted.
Thursday, July 18, 2019
I have reached the conclusion that I can't cook bacon. There I admitted it! I'm a bacon cooking failure! As a man I'm so ashamed of this! I find that it seems to take too long and the second I take my eyes off it, the center burns while the ends are still too rubbery to eat. I tried cooking it yesterday on a low heat with the lid on, a little better but the center was almost over cooked. I wonder what it would be like baked in the oven? My neighbors make those perfect brown crispy strips like in the restaurants. I want mine to look like that.... help! Any tips? Bacon has been described to me as man candy, what they actually meant was straight man candy, it's delicious but I can only take a little, after a few pieces, I find it too salty, too greasy... even worse... past the lips and straight to the hips.. or in my case tummy.
Today's mission, help Steven cook perfect-ish bacon, I want to invite some of my neighbors to a pancake, bacon breakfast but I don't want them to arrive hearing the sound of smoke detectors going off! Baaacon... mmmmm!
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
On Sunday I went to see mom, she had become so feeble the last couple of weeks I worry about her. However to my surprise, she has regained her strength back. I found her walking up and down the hallways at a good pace and no walker. When she saw me, she smiled and asked when did I arrive. I walked with her for awhile to encourage her to stay active. Then we sat down in the sitting room.
Mom doesn't talk much anymore so I just sit with her, I know she is more comfortable when I'm around so we usually just sit together. While there I often people watch, I often wonder what sort of lives the other people had. One thing I really notice, of all the residents, there are only about seven men versus about twenty five women. I see the writing on the wall when it comes to the male and female lifespan ratio. I'm also learning that it's about quality of life, not quantity. I used to want to live forever, now I see life can become, almost a punishment, like a sentence. Most of the people there are just existing, everything about them is gone, it's just that the body hasn't died yet.
I was wondering about two of the elderly men this week, one I call "the professor" in my head. To me, he looks like a university professor, I imagine him teaching literature, reading poems etc. Unfortunately his memory is gone and he will most times just sit quiet, staring straight ahead. He speaks both english and french, interesting how the dementia doesn't affect that ability.
There was another man sitting there across the room from us, I don't know him either but I was glad to see he no longer needed an oxygen mask, I always internally cheer on every little victory these elderly people have over their illnesses. I think he must have had a stroke, he is wheelchair bound and can no longer speak. I couldn't help notice how handsome he still is, even in his eighties, there is a boyish charm to him. I was thinking to myself that he must have been one fine looking man when he was younger.
The sitting room faces the afternoon sun, it's a bright cheerful room and many of the elderly people like to relax at the end of the day there. The light seemed to focus on the gentleman across the room and suddenly I could see the young man he once was, it almost shocked me. It suddenly hit me, he is not an "elderly" man, he is a "man" whose body wore out. I suddenly had this image of him, a young man in his twenties with his friends at a beach, his life moments playing out, his first car, his first job and most importantly, his first love. He once joked and laughed and lived a full life until one day, the years added up and now he's here. He is all of us someday and that is frightening to me.
After an hour I was thinking about leaving, the sun was getting ready to set, the light danced through the windows onto everyone. Suddenly the professor became alert and I heard him whisper "sunshine"? Then he said clearly to someone only he could see, "may sunshine and happiness fill all your days ahead, and I will see you again soon". It made me wonder if he was reliving a farewell to family or friends , had someone visited him earlier that day, was this a wish that he often used to make.
I never say goodbye to mom, it upsets her. She will want to leave with me and I don't want to see the look on her face when I say she has to stay, like a child being left behind. I instead make some excuse to get up, basically I lie to her and say I need to use the restroom or check on something. She will say, "ok I'll wait for you here". I know that a few seconds after I'm out of site, she will forget that I was even there. It's something I have to do but it kills me a little each time I do it... because I'm tricking her and taking advantage of her illness.
As I get into my car, I can't help think about what lies ahead for me. I can't help thinking about what has happened to mom, about dad dying on us, about where I am in life. As I sat there, I heard that wish in my head again, "may sunshine and happiness fill all your days ahead". I suddenly felt it was ok to let everything go, no use worrying, I need to focus on the good moments, the bad times will come on their own no matter how much I worry or don't worry. When I came home, I invited a friend over for tea, catch up on local news, show off my garden, simple things but it clears out the mind.
Sunday, July 14, 2019
Being generation number four at my place often comes with links to our past. Over a hundred years ago my great grandmother
The old world flowers have a new world problem, as soon as they bloom, hordes of Japanese beetles attack the petals. Some years there are also problems with bugs boring holes in the stems. Still they manage to spread around under the ground and a little rose tree pops up here and there in the area of the roots. It's amazing to think that I'm enjoying something a family member did long before even my parents were born, maybe even before my grandparents were born. They didn't have radio, telephones or even electricity and now her flowers are on the internet!
Saturday, July 13, 2019
This year as far as summers go, has actually been nice for the most part. Not too many really hot humid days like the last couple of years. Mostly sunny days and very enjoyable. Also there have been some nice showers in the evenings to cool things off. Storms are also coming through and dropping the temperatures as well in the evenings. It's good this is happening as the last couple of years, it would be boiling hot, storms would blow through and it would stay hot, not normal for around here.
The one drawback of this is we are getting powerful storms every four or five days in the evenings, wind damage, hail, some tornados, lighting. I hate storms, living in the country shows you first hand what they can do, from miner to major damage. Lightning and crazy winds make me very stressed, to the point of me sweating. They were calling for showers today but the humidity and temperature was high and so this afternoon a severe storm warning went out.
A lot of dark clouds passed over with no rain or thunder. I was enjoying my time in the garden, the high winds were keeping the mosquitoes at bay, making it easier to work. Then the sky began to clear off and I was happy we missed the storms.
I FREAKING hate storms, especially these days when they all seem to be auditioning for a role in Armageddon!
Finally it moved away and the sky began to open. The temperature dropped thirteen degrees and the humidity was sent packing by a cool breeze.
The sun set which will help keep things cool for the night, they are saying the worst is over.
Friday, July 12, 2019
This evening when I came home, there was a message on my landline. Usually it's either not important like a telemarketer or it is very important and the person knows I will hear it for sure. However... for the love of Pete, if you're going to leave a message, make sure you have a good connection with a decent cellphone!
Nothing worse than tonight's message, " Hi Steve, it's shzzzz burzz burzz, I'm here with dujjjugggge and if you coushzzshzz mamo nurma urp glomp I would appreciate zzzat, caw mm 613 7merff mupmup merfumfum ok? Thanks eeet aak aak.
What the what??? Now they won't call back thinking that I will get a hold of them. With my luck I know for sure it's important. From the tone of voice it's someone who knows me but I can't place the voice and after tomorrow they will think I'm a little rude donkey's butt for not getting back to them. This will bug me all evening, fubbergunt!
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
I can't believe this is happening again! It's been a long time but (clutching imaginary pearls) here I go again! This morning when I got up... I... I have... I have a pimple on my face! It's on my upper lip just below my nose, there's no hiding it unless I can grow a mustache in an hour... aaaah! What will all the kids at school say, there's that dance coming up, I will look hideous I tell you just hid-E-ous! I thought I was done with these! I'm never going to find the man of my dreams looking like I'm infectious! Why me, WHYYY MEEE? How's that for drama queen? :D