Friday, May 18, 2018
Have you seen my husband?
Have you seen my husband? I have been looking for him everywhere! Dating, ugh... I hate that part, I wish there was gay marriage arrangements, your father gets a cow while my family gets rid of me! Everyone wins, my husband may not be the most handsome but he is successful and well respected. Nervous at first, we both realize that the match was perfect and slowly fall in love with each other. That sounds like a fairy tale but who better to dream up a fairy tale than a f.... umm, gay man.
I was saying to someone yesterday that I don't know what scares me more, putting up a profile and having no one reply or putting up a profile and having some really quality guys reply. Nothing can make you feel more like a piece of meat than going on the meat market or is that meet market. Maybe I should use the phrase, "Where's my Husband" as my tag line, that sure would frighten off all the hook up guys and married guys, unfortunately that sounds a little too desperate and probably would frighten off any normal guys as well. What about, "where is my husband, skinny guy obsessed with poultry, cries during movies, lactose intolerant, afraid of spiders, loyal as a German Shepherd, hogs the blankets, dislikes cauliflower, spends way too much time on blogs. Now does that sound hot or what?
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17 comments:
Lactose intolerant??? Good thing a find farts funny. I'm sure my mother would give you two dogs and a car to take me off her hands so she can rest.
As for dating sites I can't do it. I only did it once. I had to many replies, which amount to them wanting sex. Well he'll, I go just go out and hook up if that's what I wanted. The ad even stated...dating. I prefer to still meet people out at functions or lingers clubs then get to know them. Blind dates scary the he'll out of me. So I never did go back to sites.
Maddie, I was hoping to make at least some gay friends, maybe that way I would get to meet someone. All my friends are either straight or lesbians so the only single people they know are either straight or lesbians. Lol
Call me old fashioned(old fart, for short) but dating seems to be synonymous with sex these days. Excuse me for a minute, I have to run these whippersnappers off of my lack of lawn! Now where was I? Oh yeah. Remember WWMD, this time do it! Sometimes it's when you are not looking that love finds you. I've never dated anyone but my balder half, and he asked me to the prom as a joke. Heh, 44 years later, who's got the last laugh? Loneliness with someone is far worse than being alone. I really can't give dating advice but I can tell you to be yourself. I was shy, frumpy and skinny and bh found me. I'm now shy, frumpy and happy (skinny flew out the window 41 years ago with the birth of my ten pound son). Let yourself be seen. Remember you are ADORABLE, now BELIEVE IT! End of lecture. Don't chatty people get on your last nerve? They drive me nuts :)
I haven't seen your husband or my husband. I'd settle for a date with a man I'd like to see more than once. It's much easier to mate than date.
If all your family has to offer is the cow in the photo you took back, you should stick with Grindr!
I like the idea of posting the frank profile or asking just for friendship. Many friends have fallen in love and ended up in a happy marriage. We forgive a lot of faults in our friends that might be hard to swallow in a spouse. So, if you can have him swallow your faults (if you have any, which I doubt) before marriage, all the hard work has been done. And vice versa.
I'm reminded of a technique Rodgers and Hammerstein used. They'd introduce a negative love song in the first act, so that the two protagonists will fall in love and live happily ever after in the second act. 'If I Loved You' and 'People Will Say We're In Love'. Don't throw bouquets at him, etc. Why do I have the feeling only Deedles knows what I'm talking about?
Whataya tryin' to say, Mike? Huh? Huh? :) Yes I know what you're talking about.
Your right on the money Deedles. Both my long term relationships happen when I wasn't looking for them or expecting it. It also seems when I'm in the mood to go have a quick libation out then leave, never fails, I end up meeting new people. Met most of my friends like that.
Deedles, what I think Mike is trying to say is that you are over the hello.... ten pounds! Ten pounds! Ouchy ouchy eeeyaawee! What the heck, was he wearing boots when he came out!
Mike, you crack me up! No that cow was at a heritage village, ours were nicer. I found a site that was for gay men who are looking for a relationship or friendship, I went on it and there were only four guys on it lol, they were all twenty something. That's sad really. Mike all gay men know who Rodgers and Hammerstein are, in fact my spell check brings it up when I start typing it in.
RJ, maybe my husband met your husband before they met us, now we're screwed. I think that will be my other t-shirt, easier to mate than date.
Deedles, I am old fashioned too, call me crazy but I liked the old days when you knew a person's name before you had sex. Ta dump dum! I love your high school sweetheart story Deedles and the more I get to know you, the more I see why your husband said, "I'm not letting this one get away"!
Oops and I think you are right Maddie, it doesn't matter what I say on the site to discourage hookup types, I only get messages from a guy looking to cheat on his wife. I think he just emails everyone and forgets that I said no.
Oh, no! I'm over the hello! AHHHHH! Soooo, yep ten pounds. I was 112 pounds and five foot six when we were married. Around the time I became preggers, eight months into the marriage, Taco Bell came up with the Burrito Supreme. That's right, my eldest son is the by product of burrito cravings being fulfilled by a loving enabler. Gestation diabetes had something to do with it too. His head was 14 cm and his chest 13 3/4 cm. Had him naturally with no pain meds. I hate needles, you see. The kid was born three months old. Rambling again, sorry.
Deedles, lol a burrito baby, obviously they are much larger than the usual pickles and ice cream babies.
this was hilarious.
Glad you liked it Dr Spo, that's my social life, hilarious, hahaha!
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