Saturday, May 18, 2019

Men of ALL Types.


 I consider myself lucky in that I find many different types of men attractive. All over the scales of feminine to masculine to race to age to frame size. It's not something that I pretend in order to sound politically correct, it just happens when I see an attractive man and think to myself, "well hello there handsome", and then I quietly check him out. I like that about my sexuality, I allow myself to enjoy it.

 I am often surprised by the way many gay men limit themselves. I'm not surprised by the prejudice towards a man's age and looks, unfortunately that seems to be common, I am surprised by the racism that seems to also be common in the gay community, especially in large cities. It's too bad actually because they are missing out.

 I was thinking about this because of two guys that pressed my buttons yesterday in a sexual way. I think having that sudden arousal feeling is enjoyable and is one of the perks in life, almost like the high we get from seeing a perfect sunset or gorgeous work of art in a gallery but at the same time very different from those feelings, it's raw desire.

 The first happened early in the day at my bank. While waiting in line there was a young man at the teller in front of me. He was about twenty eight and holy-old-moly... was he ever freaking hot. Clearly he was probably an athlete of some sort because he was in nice shape, not a gymbot, just naturally in good shape. He was African Canadian decent and was just dripping with male sexuality, every muscular curve was in the exact right location in my mind. He was one of those guys that sends a gay man's sexuality into overdrive, you just feel your desire to be with him in every part of your body. I sometimes wonder if as a gay man I'm picking up some kind of sex pheromones from guys like this in their prime. The way he carried himself, the confident but polite way he spoke to the teller had me in dream land. The building suddenly felt empty when he left and I felt I needed to sit down until my knees turned back from trembling mush.

 The second time it happened was later in the day, I was driving and had to stop for construction. Two young men were jogging towards me wearing only t-shirts and shorts. Again they were in nice shape, one man in particular was really attractive, he had a less polished handsome appearance to him, a rugby player type of body. Like me I could see he was a ginger but more of a reddish blond. As he approached however I saw that he also was a man of special needs, he had a slight look of a person with down syndrome or something along those lines. I felt ashamed of myself for being sexually attracted to this man and quickly looked away; however then I gave myself permission to look again. Here was a man, he is attractive, he is taking the time to stay in shape and look attractive, I felt there was nothing wrong with enjoying his efforts and looking at him like I would look at any other attractive man.

 These were two moments of appreciating life that I would have missed out on if my outlook was narrow. I'm not perfect, I'm always catching myself and trying to make better choices but I think if I'm "trying" then at least that is progressing but most of all it pays off by creating positive moments.

24 comments:

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

How it’s YOU who are posting exactly MY thoughts!
And I think that you nailed the part where you said that the men aroused something in you: that’s sex appeal. That’s attraction. When we see a man and without taking into account the exact details we feel the tingle to mingle. That’s what matters: how that one man makes us feel, not if we go through the checklist of our ‘preferences’ and decide he’ll do.

XoXo

anne marie in philly said...

Although he may not be the man
Some girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

these song lyrics describe a man with whom I was involved many years ago. he was 10+ years older than I, and was not a gymrat, but man-o-man could he ever make me holla! that man knew how to push every one of my buttons in the right order!

Deedles said...

Honey, it's not only gay men who limit themselves. "No fat chicks!" remember? I have an acquaintance (really, I do!) who's white. He fell in love with a black woman and then backed out because "interracial relationships are too hard". He married an Asian woman (Dutch-Indonesian) because, apparently, it's only a mixed marriage if one of the partners is black. I shouldn't let stupidity like that not get to me. To each their own, and all that. You stay as opened minded as you are, I hear the dating pool gets bigger with more variety.

Michael said...

My buttons "get pressed" for a myriad of different reasons Nd I can never really predict it! Nice post.

mistress maddie said...

At first you stumped me. I didn't know people still went in banks?!?!?!

But I agree with you about limiting yourself. I like you, find many different men hot from fem to mascl. and would have no problem bedding them or dating or getting into a relationship with them. I have been on the receiving end of being guys not wanting to date me in the past because of when I did drag. It astounded me guys couldn't get pass Im not in drag all the time, and looked completely different out of drag. I have prided myself on working on my appearance in and out of drag. One guy even said, it's a shame a cute guy like you does drag. Other guys later find out what I look like out of drag or hear a bedroom story, or later get to know me, but by then it's too late. But anymore, most guys I know don't have a problem now dating drag queens, the newer generation gays are open to a lot, but I don't want to date a baby.

Most people do limit themselves to new experiences and good people I think. And why?
And I remember when you posted your picture...I thought you were adorable!!!!

Bob said...

I, too,find all different kinds of men attractive, though a man with an accent is still hothothot--which is why I married a man with an accent.
And there's nothing wrong with looking, and lingering and wondering.

Old Lurker said...

Unlike the rest of you I am a close-minded internally-homophobic bigot. I have rather particular tastes, and I wish they were much more narrow to the point where I did not find anybody attractive at all. Being bowled over by arousal is awful. It is distracting and makes it difficult to focus on work. It makes people do all kinds of stupid things, like say inappropriate things during job interviews. I wish I was asexual. Maybe I can pray away the gay?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, that's actually one of the reasons I don't date James even though he is a sweet man, I never felt those feelings towards him. I did a tiny bit for the first time I saw him this spring but that tells me something.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, I'm telling your husband... hahaha! I love those song lyrics and I understand perfectly.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, I never get asked anymore, "would you date an xyz person" I think we have moved past that for the most part around here. Plus many people I know are in mixed marriages of all races. I think it's how the other person makes you feel, if I ever find another person who makes me feel loved, I don't care what group they belong to because I see them as a person, not part of a herd. And... I like husky or chubby guys ;), there are a lot that press my buttons, maybe opposites attract, I don't know.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael, yes that's a good point, we never really know why one guy presses our buttons and a similar man doesn't. On another note, I'm really happy to see you moving along your journey in life, things seem to finally be coming together for you.

Michael said...

I am not sure if they are coming together or not, but I am enjoying the ride.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, yes people that don't have house boys have to do their own errands! I don't like online banking, I like to meet with a real live person, I've been like that since the days when the last woolly mammoth died, (poor squeaky :( goodbye forever fellow). Yes... yes I'm adorable, this I know, Deedles said so. I know that I would have been confused in my earlier days of coming out if someone I liked was into drag. I wouldn't have understood the difference between drag and a cross dresser. I probably would have been turned off by it. Now I wouldn't care.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, yes a man with an accent does ad a certain sex appeal lol. Good for you on catching one! Yes wondering is harmless and sends me to my happy place.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, your blunt honesty is such a white hot turn on, whew! Maybe you could try praying away the gay, it's certainly worked for, ummm, errr, ummm, hmmm... well no one but I'm sure there could be a first.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael, that's the most important part of life, not the destination but that you are enjoying the journey. Plus I was saying to "someone" that I am envious of you because you just came out and already you are getting ahead of me... you little brat!!! :D

Richard said...

I now get rejected because of my age (62), especially by guys around my age. But more often I get rejected because I'm HIV+. I tell myself it's their loss not mine.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, I was rejected when I was forty because of my age... by guys older than me. I think as well guys 45 and over will still mostly be terrified of the phrase HIV+ because it has been drilled into us that it used to mean the end for us, at one time.

Jimmy said...

I'm attracted to all males except if they are on welfare or food stamps.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, gold digger!!! There are certain types of men that just completely turn me off, even if they are nice guys with a good outlook etc, there are just certain body types or certain looks that do nothing for me so I'm not completely open to everyone. Definitely though attitude and personality play a huge role. A jerk is a jerk no matter how good looking that person is. On the flip side, a guy that is funny, kind and has that welcoming personality is often attractive to me no matter what he looks like, there is something about them that makes you want to be with them.

Jimmy said...

Steven, you just described me. Funny, kind and welcoming personality. Too bad I'm married.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, three is better than two! :D

Jimmy said...

Yes, but your commute would be hell!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, yes you're right, our love must be denied, we will always have Paris!