Friday, May 10, 2019

Am I Gay Enough?


 Every day I read some piece about a certain gay candidate (Pete) in the leadership race for the democratic party. Many people are commenting on the importance to today's LGBTQ youth, regarding seeing a married gay man running to become president. I can believe that it's happening but my seventeen year-old self would have never believed that it would happen. Also he doesn't fit the stereotype that was constantly thrown at us in the past. Clean cut,  boy next door type, ex military, religious and not some gay caricature from a sitcom or movie. I always said that role models are important, we need to see ourselves in society, we need to feel that we are represented and not just LGBTQ people, other minority groups as well.

  This makes me wonder about what I am doing. Most of my friends know I'm gay, some family members know. However at work no one knows. There is one or two people who might know, friends of friends so it's possible they know. I recall a certain blogger pointed out to me, that I like to have my cake and eat it to. I like it when people come out, it gives me strength and makes me feel less and less like an outcast. While on the other hand I remain in the closet in a lot of settings.

 I have a lot of good excuses that I use not to come out. There is also a little bit of a power trip for me,  I'm going to secretly judge you regarding situations. I do like however that people are unfiltered around me. It means that much more to me when someone speaks positively about gay people, this way I know their true feelings and not something that they felt they were supposed to say.

 I think the younger generation, doesn't need me as a roll model anymore, they are pretty sure of who they are. Unlike me during my younger years, they have grown up with positive images of gay people all around them. Still I feel that I'm not towing my line, like I'm letting the gay club down.

 I have to end this here, I can't keep my eyes open. I think however if I was dating someone like Pete, I would want everyone to know, "THIS ONE'S MINE"!

32 comments:

mistress maddie said...

Oh christ that escort bitch again?

I think once so many people know your gay, even ones you didnt tell, but know anyhow because of people you know knowing and talking, it doesn't matter to stay in the closet. If people know your gay and yet you dont talk about it, or tell them, then to them it does say oh, gay must not be normal or they feel ashamed because their hiding it. I feel it's different when no one knows your gay. Once a few know....people talk trust me.

anne marie in philly said...

"I think the younger generation, doesn't need me as a roll model anymore, they are pretty sure of who they are." - yes they are. they see pete as a leader, not as a GAY leader.

I see pete as intelligent, well spoken, animal lover, musically talented, handsome, a leader. the fact that pete is gay is only a part of who he is. pete and chasten make a handsome couple, and I can see them adopting and loving children.

John Going Gently said...

half in
half out

what a faff!

just take that final step out
you will feel so much better!

Tio Walter said...

Are you going to Mumbai? Did I miss something? Hey, if you're looking for a date just come down to SoFL. You can call me by your name. Me show you good time love you long time too. As for the rest of the post...at the next office meeting tell them you're taking Gay Pride weekend off, and let it sink in. I bet you no one will bat an eyelash.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, so are you saying that if people know because of people who know but don't know that I know that they know, it's not as good as people who know because I let them know that it was ok for them to know.... you know what I mean?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, I love that he talks like a human being and not a scripted politician. I think you are partly right, a lot of the younger people see him as a leader and not just a gay man. The above thirty crowd and the media see a gay man first however. Every time they feature him all I hear is gay, gay, gay, married to a man, husband, gay/bible/religion, first homosexual running, gay, gay gay.
I think they would be great parents and I could certainly take seeing that man on the news for the next four years! ;)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John I have to google "faff". I don't want to blow my cover as a gay super hero, straight by day but gay by night?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Walter... lol, thank you for my morning giggles and snickering! I was thinking on Thursday that the least dramatic way would be to get one of those t-shirts that says, "I'm inclusive, many of my friends are straight". :)

Bob said...

What AM said.
Pete is not the GAY candidate, he's the candidate who is gay.
It's a subtle difference.

Deedles said...

Hey, with Obama, it was all Black all the time! You have to be extremely light skinned to keep your race in the closet. My Aunt got a better job by doing that back in the day. As for you, sweetiekins, you don't have to stand up on your office chair, wearing booty shorts, throwing confetti and waving a rainbow flag. I would love to see that, by the way! A rainbow framed picture of your cat or bunny should do the trick. A flag sticker here or there, maybe. Just let things you're interested in slip out in a natural way. Then again, what do I know? If you do the booty shorts thing (in the privacy of your own home) send me a picture!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, yes that was not my intention to portray him that way. I was tired and didn't pay attention to how I worded it. To us he is a candidate that also happens to be gay; however according to most of the media, they focus ninety percent of the story towards his sexuality. I think that will soon play out if he stays in long, they hopefully can't keep reporting that he is gay. He has a husband, he certainly isn't straight lol!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, ok one hot glitter filled picture coming up! Just as soon as the booty shorts make it through the wash. I put them in the dryer for an extra long time to shrink them to twink status!

Richard said...

I worked with a married guy that everyone in the office suspected was gay. After many years, he divorced his wife and came out. Nobody cared. Life in the office went on as usual. Later he told me he regretted taking so long to come out. Each person's journey is their own. You need to do what is best for you. I'm guessing your work peers don't care either way. They like you for you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, nobody ever talks about relationships etc, it's pretty much an all male environment. They talk about sports, work and politics mostly. Bringing up being gay seems out of place, if they asked me questions, I would answer them so it's not like I'm hiding. Maybe a t-shirt of some sort that lets them quietly know. Nobody cared when the person transitioned from male to female, my group of friends that I sit with at lunch never spoke about it.

Deedles said...

Ooooh, I await with bated breath! I'm old, so bated breath may kill me, so get on it, Sunshine! Better yet, get together with Maddie so I can have a twofer! Smelling salts, STAT!

Old Lurker said...

"Most" of your friends know, hrm? As in, more than half? As in, the curling buddies you just happen to fantasize about shower massages with? The people who drop by your house when you are looking at dirty pictures on the Internet? The people who drop off delicious spring rolls for you when you are feeling down? Are you sure you are not exaggerating just a teensy-weensy bit?

I am also skeptical that if you were asked directly about your sexuality at work whether you would be forthright. If somebody asked, "Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?" what would be your response?

Yes, the power trip is nice. Everybody (even straight people!) is curious about what other people really think of them, and being in stealth mode is one way to find out some small aspect of that. I certainly do not want people to act differently around me even if they are homophobes.

But don't underestimate the positive influence you might have by being out at work, ESPECIALLY if you are in a testosterone-heavy workplace. Yes, it is easier for the kids to come out these days, but it is not trivial, especially when kids are butch environments where the unstated assumption is that everybody else is straight. Furthermore you might not just be a role model for kids. Some people in their midlives or older feel they have to stay closeted to stay employed, and you can be a counterexample to that.

Also if you were out then maybe Neha Mumbai Escorts would get the hint and send you some advertisements for male escorts. Clearly he did not get the memo.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, oh darn... too much hot water, my booty shorts don't fit anymore!

Jimmy said...

Why not talk about figure skating and Patrick Chan (those buns!)? Also, how you're working on a Quad Loop! That will do the trick.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, you are confusing acquaintances with friends, I have a different view of people that I only know through work for instance, they are not friends. Really close friends, I say most know. There are people at work that I wouldn't tell if they asked but that's another story. Most people at work I would tell but I suspect that they already know. I find people usually tell me that I didn't need to tell them, so that kind of confuses me. Seriously why do you give me such a hard time, can't you use your skills for good and not evil! ;D

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, I didn't know who Channing Tatum was or the movie Magic Mike. That sealed my straight disguise last week for sure. I miss an opportunity. I could open conversation with, "Call me by your name" was my favorite movie of 2018, I think that should do it!

Deedles said...

Shame about those shorts :( I know, go bottomless! I won't mind. For modesty, extra glitter or discreet hand placement. Boy, not many people can make me seem like a Pollyanna, but Old Lurker comes close :)
Enjoy your weekend, sweetie, in spite of us.

Old Lurker said...

Well if there are people at work you suspect already know, why not just tell them? Then there is no confusion. Being in stealth mode won't change how they act around you, since they already know. Or is there something else holding you back?

Jesus told me that I am unacceptable to Him on account of my homosexual tendencies, so since then I only use my powers for evil just to prove He is right.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles... but ummm errr ummm well you see it's really cold today and I ummm, well you know, I ummm don't really have a lot to brag about to begin with... if you know what I mean, (he said sheepishly).

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, awww poor little buddy :(. Well so I asked him about that since I belonged to his favourite church and he said, "why can't you people read my words, I never said that, you will never read me saying that I don't like homosexuals, come on, I even cured a gay man's lover for "me's" sake! All that hateful stuff was added years later after I died-ish". Then I asked him about you Old Lurker and he said that you are actually one of his favourites, even he can appreciate a snarky pants!

Deedles said...

Steven, that's where the glitter and discreet hand placement come into play. I'd be looking at your face, anyway.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, I ran out of glitter so I'm going to use birthday cake sprinkles.

Deedles said...

Ooooh! Edible, even better! You may have to utilize a can of whipped cream because sprinkles don't stick to a body the way glitter does. Thanks for playing with me today, Steven. It's helped my mood immensely!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, I have whipped cream!!! You my friend are welcomed to play in my sandbox any day :D

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Wait. How did I miss this one?
I have to log on more during the weekend. So now, coming out is totally up to whomever is well, not out. Except right wingers and republicans. They need to be outed. I go full Michelangelo Signorile there.
I think you’re ‘in transit’. There are some toxic work environments that do not require coming out. I think that the most important people who could need to know are friends and family. The rest can wait.
Just my two cents.

XoXo

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, your two cents is worth a million here. :)
I am also a private person, I never feel the need to have everyone know my business, to me only my friends are invited into that circle. If I had a boyfriend, I would want people to know.

Ur-spo said...

you are one popular blogger dude !

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, it takes one to know one. Lol
My blog wants to be just like your blog when it grows up! :)