Tuesday, February 13, 2018

When I fell out of the closet.

 One mistake I think bloggers make when they quit, is they delete their blog. The loss of an interesting journey wiped away is sad. I think many will regret it one day. I had thought about doing the same thing, I am really glad I didn't. I enjoy looking back on my journey, there are a lot of things I forgot, there are a lot of laughs I forgot. Back in 2008, is the year I really started living my life as a gay man, so since January of this year, I have been looking back on each corresponding date because I want to see where I was, "life wise" ten years ago compare to today.

Seems that the ten years ago Steven was not the lame bump on a log that I am now. I was expecting to find myself whining about being gay, instead February 13, 2008 I had gone to a couple of gay bars, got hit on by a woman, (the yucky kind of woman with a vagina), witnessed some crazy ass sh#t, had a cute YOUNG guy keep trying to pick me up and I also began laying the groundwork to date this guy I had just made friends with (Dan), he would be my boyfriend by morning, man oh man did I ever have game back then! It brought back great memories, especially the awesome feeling that every man in the last bar was gay just like me, I remember finally feeling like I wasn't the only gay man in the entire world. I remember there would be guys that I just couldn't believe were gay and then suddenly they would start kissing or go out on the dance floor together. I need to change something up, I need to get some of those feelings back. I can't create links to past posts and I am also afraid of deleting them, but if you want the post was called "Gay to my core" February 13, 2008. I haven't had any fun like that in years.


16 comments:

Mistress Maddie said...

I couldnt agree more. I have followed blogs that,went on for years and then when they decided to stop deleted the blog. Too much work down the drain. I suppose some may have used it for a outlet in a dark time, but I think their good to reflect back on. I would never delete mine. When time permits, I often go back on blogs to read various posts....uours included. As far as early gay days.....you don't want to know mine.

Anonymous said...

Peaks and valleys, ebb and flow...life has its own rhythms and stages and what we find interesting in retrospect always seems to contrast the doldrums of what we are living today. I've read your archives and yes, that was a time. As I read your current posts, I marvel "How far he's come! And, Oh, the places he's going." What may have been an outward journey has become an inner one, and I am in for the ride.

Old Lurker said...

Link? http://sooo-this-is-me.blogspot.ca/2008/02/gay-to-my-core.html.

I think it is time for you to put out the sex applications again.

John Going Gently said...

I've written my blog since 2006!
Twelve years of my soddin life

John Going Gently said...

Old lurkers link proved an interesting read xx

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, I hope you wouldn't delete your blog, it's one of a kind! Something tells me I would probably need a cold shower after reading the things you got up to in your early days.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Walter, lol kind, sweet comments will get you everywhere on this blog. Thank you for reminding me, yes I feel much more comfortable now than back then.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Lurker, thank you so much for putting up the link, I can't do anything with this android phone, sometimes links on other blogs don't work for me either.

You would have to list your real name on an application form!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, you do know that you don't always have to post right? I know you've been around a long time, I used to have another blog about ten years ago and you were a buddy back then. Imagine how cool I found it that we connected again without you knowing.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, Mr L is awesome!!! It was actually an interesting read for me as well, I forgot a lot of things. I will never forget however that idiot wanting to take a picture of me while I was trying to go peeeeee!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree with the whole saving the blog thing. I started my blog in a fury in 2011, then drifted away from it. I rediscovered it and went back and reread some of my earliest posts. I am glad I saved it. It is my story.

I loved reading your post from 2008. I have never been to a gay bar....the descriptions you wrote about created some good imagery in my head!

Anonymous said...

I wish bloggers would write a last post when they cease blogging. A number of blogs I've followed just stopped. It left me wondering what happened.

Your bar experience is one that most gay men have at least once in their life. Having that feeling of finding your people is a moment you’ll never forget. It’s a moment I’ll never forget from my junior year in high school when I went to my first gay bar.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael 54, its your story and years from now you will be surprised by some of the things you forget. It's good to be reminded.
That gay bar sadly doesn't exist anymore, the only ones left are for the gay college kids.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Rjjs, high school!!! I'm jealous. Same here, many blog friends just disappeared. Like John at Open a window, I keep telling him to write what happened, he met a great guy and is leading a fantastic gay life but unfortunately he doesn't feel the need to blog anymore. I think it's important to show the great ending.

Later my bf showed me a trick about using the girls washroom so as to not be harassed by perverts, I laughed because I didn't think about the fact there would be no women in a gay bar but they have to have a washroom just in case. Lol

Mistress Maddie said...

Steven I too looked at Lurker link. That was a good one. I felt the need to comment.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, when I read that old post I was thinking "who was that guy"! Lol. Compared to now, sitting alone in a farm house out in the middle of nowhere, dressed like a slob. Thanks for commenting.