Many of us have strange quirks, some quirks can be seen by other people, some we hide out of embarrassment and others we just live with. I have one strange trait I want to share, it's odd but it's completely true, I am not making this up.
It can be just a normal day and maybe I do something very ordinary like call a neighbour for something. I will call Doug but his wife answers and says that Doug just got back from his hockey game with his friend Mike, they grabbed a beer and have gone down to the stables and she says they will just stay there talking about horses for hours, that she will get him to call me when he comes back. I thank her and hang up.
Sitting down I will start to think about what a pair of hot D.I.L.Fs Mike and Doug are, ruggedly handsome, typical guy next door good looks. What if they were not just talking about horses, what if Doug glances out the window while taking a sip of his beer. What if upon seeing the coast is clear, he playfully pushes Mike back onto a bale of hay and says something like, "three goals tonight bud, you were hot out there on the ice, but no where near as hot as you looked in your jock when we were changing after". Doug steps closer, both guys give each other a knowing grin. Then they start to kiss and..... and.... and it starts to happen.
Aaahhchewww! I sneeze, then again aahhhhchewwwww! Uhh, ooh, eyes watering, I shake my head, try to return to my thoughts but the taboo idea of two straight young dads having forbidden gay sex overwhelms me and again an even more powerful sneeze, ahhhCHEWWW.... blasts out with enough power to extinguish a small forest fire, I have a slight spasm and give up. What the hey is that about??? It's like some little Angel is standing around and suddenly says, "oh no you don't buster, Doug and Mike are good guys, no dirty thoughts from you"! Then I am sprinkled with magic sneezing dust until I give up. Trust me, this is even too strange for me to make up, it's like I'm having sneezegasms! There you have it, a secret that I have only shared with members of the blog community, now don't you feel privileged.
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20 comments:
You need a boyfriend!
You need antihistamines!
Also: no sex in the barn! Or the stables! Haven't we been over this already?
I get sneezing fits every time I see my neighbor from across the street. At first I thought I had allergies, but this only happens when he's playing basketball with his son, shirtless, or doing yard work wearing nothing but his gym shorts. At-chooooo! Just the thought of him makes me sneeze.
I'm not sure where to go with this tidbit honey. I'll have another G&T and get back to you.
I don't know how to comment on this one.
Armpits??? And now this??? Beulah get me the salts I'm going to the faintin' couch!
John, thanks captain obvious! I have always had this happen. Yes, probably less if I had a boyfriend.
Mr Lurker, well is your Auntie Histammy good at stopping sneezing?
Yes no barn sex but day dreaming about other people in a barn should be safe!
Walter, yesssss! I just knew you would have my back buddy! We are kindred spirits!
Maddie, ok pretty lady, then I'm having a beer while I wait since we're pouring drinks! Lol
rjjs, probably that comment just spoke for itself lol.
Will, ok just lie down on the couch, comfortable? Now tell me when you first started feeling anxious about armpits and sneezing? See I picked up a thing or two from Dr Spo.
Auntie is quite effective. Thinking of your aunties and uncles instead of hot straight neighbours is a great cure for sneezing.
Clearly daydreaming about barns is not safe. It sets off your hay fever.
Mr Lurker, yes good point about aunts and uncles curing sneezing. As far as hay fever, the sneezing also happened the time that Doug and Mike returned late from practice because they were the last guys to use the showers... when everyone else had gone home, Doug needed Mike to scrub his back in those hard to reach places but Mike became erect while doing it and.... and... ah...chewwww!
Oh yes. Those "hard to reach places". Given how long you have been single I can only imagine how dirty you must be in certain areas of your body that are "hard to reach", such as your brain.
Mr Lurker, are you trying to say I have a dirty mind? Because I don't, I have a guy's mind and straight or gay we are all the same, basically yes, we all have dirty minds!
Not all of us have dirty minds. Willym, for example, is as pure as the driven snow. All of those videos he posts of guys in kilts are for our cultural edification. Mistress Maddie is another innocent.
Mr. Lurker, wow and I thought I was naive! Lol
LOL
Dr Spo, ;)
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