Allow me to jump in... the "straight" m4m issues are swirling around again so here's my opinion..again. I admit I do like straight-ish looking men, yes I know that makes many of you crazy but I can't help it. I guess it's that saying, "I want a husband just like dear old dad". My dad was a stand up guy, who wouldn't want that in a partner, I also have to say my dad was a clean cut really good looking man. I feel he did probably imprint a vision of what I want in a partner regarding type, so it stands to reason that it would be that straight acting type.
However I have to say that I've never been with a straight guy and I am not interested in one either. The truth is I don't believe they are straight, I feel 100% inside my mind, that they are bisexual or maybe even gay and can't accept it. Hence my reason for not being interested, I feel they have issues... and so, are intimately untrustworthy 'in my opinion' because they are out of touch or in denial about their feelings. To me it doesn't make sense to be intimate with a confused person like that. I assume that's why I often hear the sex is not that good, how can you be comfortable with another guy, if you are not comfortable with yourself.
Over the past year, I have become friends with guys that claim to be straight but experiment with other men sexually. At first I thought maybe my view was wrong; however as I get to know them more and as they get to trust me more, I really feel that I was right the first time. They are gay or bisexual and don't understand or want to understand their homosexual desires. I always say, just think in reverse, does any person reading this, want to have sex with someone that is not part of who they're sexually attracted to. This of course causes these faux straight guys to get upset.
As an example, one of my newer gay friends told a bunch of us an embarrassing but also horribly funny story. He is one of those men that people always assumes is straight and he tried hard to fit into that roll. In his college days he was having a hard time accepting the fact that he's gay. He forced himself to date women and being a tall, handsome guy, he could easily get girlfriends. This is about to be graphic.. warning.. sorry!!! One evening he went out with a young woman and they went back to her room. She wanted him to perform oral on her, having never done that before, he figured no problem, how difficult could it be. Unfortunately the close up view of lady parts, was frightening enough for him but when he caught wind of the scent... he instantly vomited on the offending body part. Talk about a way to end an evening!
After that enlightening story, other gay men shared similar awkward but funny moments. In my younger days, I have watched straight guys get into gay play when drunk, however they will start to gag if the fooling starts to go too far, it's not in them, they are straight. I think the confusion is coming from the fact that there are a lot more bisexual men than we thought, now more "straight" men are coming forward and admitting some degree of bisexuality. Sorry I don't care what anyone says, if a man likes having a penis in his mouth, he's not straight and from the internal homophobia I'm starting to run across, I think it's time the gay/bi community starts saying that. Time to stop pretending we "lured" straight men away from women, like we're that good in bed. No you just enabled a self-homophobic man to have his cake and sleep with it too.
37 comments:
Yep, I believe you hit the nail on the head with this entry.....
Am I on Sixpence's blog? What's with all the naked guy pictures in your posts? Some of us read this blog in doctor's offices, you know.
Good luck in finding a bed partner who does not have issues, or who is not out of touch with their feelings. I thought you were attracted to men?
Just because some of us lust after straight men does not mean we ever expect to sleep with them. Some people have centaur fetishes, too.
Oh, you know my opinion on straight men. Been there. Done them. Not worth the time or effort.
And I think there's nothing written in matters of taste. We all prefer one kind of men over others. So what if you like straight-ish guys? I do too.
But I've dated the uber masculine and the not-so-masculine too. I see there may be a problem when we only lust or go after straight men. Or only lust and go after 'straight-acting' men (acting there being the operative word because we're gonna want them to suck our cock, no?)
And this is getting long. All in all, I think you're right about many things in this post. I love it when you write like this. It's like the only thing missing is a cup of coffee and we could be having a convo...
XOXO
P.S. Lurkie, I have a post coming up just for you.....
Uh oh.
Orientation is a state of mind, nothing more. Preference is trained into people by religious beliefs which are desperate to have humans procreate as often as possible.
I’ve heard that “bi-sexual” is the largest component of the LGBTQ+ community. I think that more of the professed “straight” guys who like the occasional dick are only fooling themselves. Maybe some therapy would help.
Tommy, usually I don't pay attention to what people call themselves but lately my feathers have been ruffled by remarks from "straight" men... that have oral sex with their buddies. Straight my a..!
Lurky, what are you implying? I run a respectable joint here, there are no naked men on here.. well at least you can't see any peepees or bums.
Yes everyone has issues Lurks but there is a difference between, "Steve would you keep calling me a bad boy during sex" to "Steve I'm a straight guy so we can have sex but I don't want to appear like I'm enjoying myself because being a straight guy, I won't enjoy having sex with another man, plus you're a nice guy, for a gay guy and I like that you're not all fruity like most gay men".
Sixpence, I think we need evidence of all this sex you've been having, we need pictures. ;D
Of course I'm right, hahaha! No seriously I have issues with things not being real when dealing with another person, it makes me feel unsettled. I also think "straight acting" is becoming outdated as more and more men come out or in the case of younger men, they just don't go in the closet.
Lurky, sixpence doesn't realize you are like Mikey, you hate everything. Lol
Dave, I suspect what you see around you growing up has a lot to do with it as well. Like nothing turns me off faster than a man with long hair, even though long hair is the natural state of men's hair. I think probably because the men around here always kept their hair short, the only ones who didn't were the "losers", on drugs, too lazy to work, would steal anything they could get their hands on, so I assume that affected my vision of what a man looked like.
HuntleyBiGuy, I think you are correct. I started to suspect there were larger numbers of bisexual people years ago. A lot of times when I meet older guys in an LGBTQ setting, they lived the straight lifestyle, married with children. They are not interested in coming out now and so I am seeing the hidden numbers before me.
Bob, I often hear this story, it's very common, I do have empathy for those guys but they can only help themselves.
I have to admit that of all the LGBTQ+ people, the Bi part is the one I don't get. Bi people must have to be in open relationships as commitment to one m/f is impossible. Am I correct???
Jimmy, you commit to a person not the sex. I never have been into casual sex and never will be. I don't count the child molesters and statutory rapist that I've had to deal with while a child. That's a WHOLE different thing. I am attracted to tall, clean long hair, blue eyed Thor like men. Balder Half is none of those things. He's always been attracted to dark skinned, big boobed urban women. I am none of those things. We are entering our 45 year of marriage without an end in sight. I also have had crushes on my female best friends over the years. I am in a committed relationship and would never go outside of it for anything sexual. The crushes have been because of personality, not the way they look or present themselves physically. I lost my point again. Oh well.
Hi Stevie!
Deedles, My closest friend is Bi. He tells me when he is in a relationship with a woman, he desires a man sexually (and vise versa). I have also been told that 'bi' men lean toward women with men on the side rather with women on the side. Again. commitment.
There have definitely been bums.
Jimmy: to the extent that bisexuals even exist, some commit, and some don't. Gay people and straight people are allowed to be attracted to different types, but it does not mean they are incapable of remaining monogamous to one partner. (In the case of gay men, this may be more hypothetical than common.)
I'm attracted to masculine guys totally
Whether they are straight or gay....who knows
I've never wanted to get with a woman; I like my men hairy and intelligent and cute!
Anne Marie, I have none of the attributes you prefer. Hairless, dumb as a rock and wrinkled.
Lurkie, I guess I am 'rare' as I am one of those devoted monogamous types.(Though I do notice hawt guys when I wear my glasses.) :)
Steven: you have sucked me into another one of your shaggy dog posts.
I agree, if I guy wants to orally please another man, he is not straight. I don't pursue straight men but I sure have a talent for meeting married men who like to play with other men. It's not a talent I practice on purpose.
Jimmy: wrinkles can be cute. Everyone loves Shar Peis and bulldogs.
Lurkie: I just came to the conclusion that my first lover was Bi and a dog. I knew it was over when he got a vasectomy.
Jimmy, unfortunately you are making the same mistake that straight people do in thinking all gay men are the same. Some people are bisexual but don't see gender so they can be with one or the other, while some prefer to mostly be with one sex but have a drive to sometimes be with the other sex. I had it described as asking someone to never blink, you are ok for a while but eventually you blink. I don't judge anymore as I can't fully understand.
Hi Deedles! Lol, you're funny.
Jimmy, I think it depends on the person and how their sexuality works, I feel it's up to them to figure it out.
Lurker, really? Bums? I don't remember but you definitely know more about this blog than I do. Bisexual orgies must be awesome, well that's if you were bisexual I mean.
John, well if they ask you out, hopefully they are gay!
Anne Marie, and I like his gay brother! Lol
Jimmy, sure blame me!
I know of monogamous gay men, it's common, I think we run into trouble when we expect every gay man to be like that.
Richard, that's another common thing, I often talk about first coming out, 8 out of every ten guys contacting me, were married to a woman, I thought I stumbled into some weird twilight zone of married gay men.
Lurkey... you again? Actually.. hahaha, that's pretty funny Lurks!
Jimmy, you had your boyfriend fixed? Really harsh of you!
Jimmy did not want to get pregnant, I guess. Or maybe he did not want his boyfriend getting pregnant. I am a little fuzzy on how that works.
Steven: Dude. You had bums on your blog a month ago.
Happy to make you laugh, Stevie. I have recently come to the conclusion that I shouldn't put my two cents into things that I know almost nothing about. My two cents ain't worth a plug nickel :) I'll still read everything, but limit my commenting a bit. Hugs.
Lurkey, I completely forgot about that lol! That's just a little peek-a-bum.
I don't think we can get a boyfriend pregnant... but that didn't stop me from trying! ;)
Deedles is Deedles is what I always say. You do what you think is best for you, nothing less, nothing more. :D
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