Friday, January 4, 2019

Apology Accepted.


 I received (after a little prodding) an explanation for the sudden silence of Adam. It's a little flattering actually, seems when he was thinking about an "us" it never occurred to him that we were just getting together for some fun, (like 97% of gay men do) in his mind it was the beginning of a full on relationship between us and having just come through a breakup of his marriage (to a man), he felt it's not fair to me that he has so much baggage. I honestly thought he was looking for a friends with benefits type situation and I would have been cool with that, he is attractive and a nice guy, I don't see myself with him as a life partner, we have too many things that could come between us in a relationship.

 I let him off the hook in a sly way that allows him to keep from feeling embarrassed. I told him that everything is fine between us, that I felt he was just joking as he has made sexual jokes in the past. Then I proceeded to ask about a store he went shopping at, that way the subject transitions in a way that appears casual. Plus I don't want him to think about our emails too much, otherwise he may realize I was being a typical gay guy and just trying to be a dog. In my defense that seems to be the gay norm, I no longer expect a gay man to assume "relationship" as the first go to move, maybe I have become jaded.

 It was nice to be thought of as boyfriend material, it was nice that he didn't want to "use" me for sex, those were his exact words. If it weren't for the issues that I could see coming between us, I know that I would go for this guy. I know how to win his heart over from the jerk he was with, they wouldn't know what hit them lol. All is good, I can't be upset at him for being honest. He probably didn't expect me to bite at his hinting, he probably started to over think what had occurred between us and that's fine because the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I don't want a relationship with him either. This just makes me want to find the right guy even more.

22 comments:

Leanna said...

I'm so happy that everything was out in the open for the both of you. Don't worry, you are a cool guy and when you least expect it when you stop looking, love will come to you. It did for me and I am the happiest person I know now. BWAAAHAHahahahaaahahahaaa! anywho.
Oh, BTW. I will be posting a HAWT shirtless firefighter meme next week on my First Responders Friday post. That is since you requested it. I aim to please my readers. Male or female.

Richard said...

I'm guessing you don't want to be the rebound guy. On the other hand, having a FWB can be a lot of fun for both parties.

Old Lurker said...

See what happens when you communicate instead of cutting off contact with assumptions in your head?

It is good to be aware of potential issues that might come between you, but don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Some issues are irreconcilable and some are not. People can and do work through their differences. If you feel a connection then maybe you and Adam should explore a little, even if neither of you intend this to get married to each other.

Timeframes are also important. If you are holding out for Mr. Forever then you could be waiting a long long time, because you are filtering out a lot of Mr. Medium-Terms. Would you be willing to enter a relationship that lasted 2-3 years again? Or are you insistent that your next relationship be the person you spend the rest of your life with?

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Nice! Well, it’s working out. He could be a Mr. Right Now to Mr. Medium Term as @oldlurker suggests. 😎

anne marie in philly said...

been an FWB when I was single. I second old lurker; go for a "mister right now" while you look for "mister forever".

Willym said...

Sounds like a nice guy and it's good that you got things discussed and out in the open. No hurt on either side. As the Lurker says it's good to get things discussed and have this sort of conversation

Deedles said...

You know, sometimes Old Lurker makes a lot of sense, once you get past his prickly parts. There is no such thing as perfect, but one can find a perfect for you type. Even then it's a lot of work. Actually, working out stuff can be quite satisfying.

Old Lurker said...

Guys! If you agree with me then Steven will do the opposite thing out of spite!

Deedles: I was not aware that you have observed my prickly parts? Are there pictures or video of them floating around the Internets?

Deedles said...

Lurky -loo, I have enough trouble just changing my avatar so no. You're safe. You want to be safe, right?
Steven only seems to be spiteful towards you. I wonder why that is?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Leanna, a hot shirtless firefighter just for me!!! May the force of what ever being watches over you bless you and give you happiness, ya and she/he/it could also through in a winning lottery ticket for you as well! :D

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I'm ok being the rebound guy, just as long as things don't get too complicated.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, you don't know the whole story, I know what I'm doing.... ish. A lot of advice from someone who has always been single! Two or three year relationships are crushing, why would I enter a relationship that will end in two years?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, there is a lot of baggage there lol. Also as a general rule, people should do the opposite of what Old Lurker says.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, I am not sure, seems to be a lot of issues with this guy the more I get to know him. Don't encourage the Lurker, his head will swell... and no.... dirty mind not that head!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Willym, we are in negotiations at this moment, to be honest I'm completely confused by what he is saying.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, true but sometimes there are too many things to work out. I know Old Lurker is finally making some sense but it's extremely important not to let him know that.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

OL, it scares me how well you know me. As for prickly parts, I have nothing, I'm too tired.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, thanks you reminded me to change away from my Christmas avatar. Spiteful yes, what part of "Old Lurker is a brat" did you people not get? Plus he feeds off my negative attention sort of like those guys who like being spanked.

Old Lurker said...

FYI: I don't actually feed off negative attention, especially when I am trying to write something semi-serious. I do feed off of banter.

I also was not trying to order you to meet with Adam. But I am asking you to think about what your thresholds are, and to encourage you not to sabotage yourself by making assumptions about what will and will not work.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, yes I know... you were only trying to be helpful, don't worry I understand that. I don't expect that however because I can't and don't want to give you guys all the information. I would never turn away an opportunity at a relationship unless there is something really wrong, so you will just have to trust my judgment.

Ur-spo said...

Well it sounds worthwhile to keep trying good luck

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, he is a very confusing man, I can't tell what he wants, I don't think he knows what he wants... so I'm going to try shagging him.