Friday it snowed here, not a lot but enough for the snowplow to gate me in. I was staying home that day and felt that I would deal with it later. No point in clearing the snow out only to have it shoved back in as soon as I finished. I confess I was being a slob, I wanted to do some work outside so I didn't shower, shave, comb my hair or dress up that morning. I figured I was safe, the snow bank across my lane would act as a barrier to lost tourists, sales men or unwanted visitors. The house is far from the road, so people's aversion to walking also protects me. Needless to say, I was quite startled by a knock at the door.
I was just coming up from my basement, still in my outdoor clothes and trust me, they are not "work clothes by Gap". I figured because of the snow bank, it must be one of my neighbours, they must have come in with a 4x4 (four wheel drive, for the dainty folks) and they would probably have on the same latest trend in clothing as I was wearing. As I opened the door it was every gay man's dream and nightmare all at once. There stood two young men and they couldn't possibly be more handsome than any daydream I could make up in my head, to top it off they were dressed quite well. Friendly and well spoken with warm smiles that could melt butter. I noticed a third man sitting in the van and he was just as cute. They were sent by God, to fulfill every fantasy I ever had..... actually no wait, they were sent by God or at least they thought that Jehovah wanted them to come and talk with me. Yes they were Jehovah's witnesses but I sensed that right away. Seriously and I mean seriously, where do they get these guys, from a GQ magazine? My brain is saying, "don't let them in" but another part of me is saying, " invite them in for tea, cookies, or a group shower maybe"? We don't have Mormons around here but I am told they are often cute as well. I text a friend and asked why the Catholic church never had young guys like that, maybe I would have stayed if it wasn't all blue haired old biddies that want to gripe all the time.
I didn't let them in, I just took the pamphlet and thanked them, as one guy handed me the pamphlet, I swear I saw a cute twinkle in his eye, like a handsome cartoon character in a Disney movie. They usually don't bother you after if you don't speak to them. I know a lot of people become hostile towards them but I don't, they think that they are helping you and while it's annoying, it's harmless so I don't see the point of being hateful towards them.
I told my friend I didn't let them in because the hotties are the bait, if you let them in that makes them think you are interested, then the next time they will send the recruiting professional, a troll or the big woman with the wart on her face to close the deal. I can see why there are so many gay adult movies with this theme, the young handsome man coming to the door, only to be invited in and convinced to express his repressed gay desires. Well actually I am not sure about the number of movies, I mean I heard there are some out there but I haven't watched any! The truth is I doubt there are any movies out there, where three incredibly handsome, young, well dressed men get turned on by an older disheveled, looking man in baggy clothes, smelling like a barn and they strip to begin exploring their hidden gay desires.
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12 comments:
Our village is regularly targeted by jehovahs witnesses
I don't engage them anymore
I just point to my wedding ring and after saying I have a husband add
" want me in your church?"
LOL! I think I didn't see the same movies!
I used to have a regular Jehovahs Witness visit me on our farm. An older woman, no wart that I can recall. She was new to the area. I enjoyed talking with her. Never about Jehovah or doctrine, about her family, my family. She'd buy a dozen eggs, leave her literature, and be on her way.
Yes, I too have noticed how cute they are too. I once had two at the door and thought of letting them in while I was in my robe. I thought if I let them in, I can sit there and listen while they give me their word, all the while I let my robe slip open a bit so they can get a view of the goods below. While they continue, I will then start to tease and rub myself to start to get things "excited" This is the point where they start getting uneasy and then I drop the robe to the floor and start my full on seduction, where I start too reach over to grab the first guy's....what was I saying?
Leave the poor Witnesses alone! They are just trying to redeem your soul. Do you want to start sneezing again?
Of course you have never watched any of those movies. Of course.
I'm always attracted to the older guy in those movies.
John, that's a good one, I'm going to get a ring!
Mike, there are none around here so any that do come are strangers. I just thank them and they leave. I never speak with them, in my sister's area they keep notes about you, I find that scary. This way they say things like, "I was talking to your friend Mary and she was saying what a good tennis player you are". I don't like that.
Maddie, I think you were saying how you were going to record all the action so you can show your blog buddy Steven just how you found religion! Yes?
Mr Lurker, I did leave them alone, this time. Honestly I haven't watched any movie like that but I didn't say that I wouldn't.
RJ, I tend to be attracted to the more masculine type so I would agree with you.
I once had a friend whose sister knew a girl whose brother sat beside a guy in school whose cousin once dated a girl whose cousin didn't watch those sort of movies either. Just saying.
Will, yes and that cousin was me! Wow small world!
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