Books... I haven't read.

 In the profile section, it asks about favorite books, I never like to fill in those sections because my taste changes as I get older. Also some books that I loved at one time, are no longer interesting to me. I began thinking that I haven't read many books about gay relationships or books regarding acceptance towards being gay. Strange when I think about it but also not that strange, in my early days I would have been terrified to have been outed. Even now, I never think about reading anything regarding gay love or on living as a gay man, I think I should, there must be some good books out there. When I first started coming out, I read a short love story that had a huge impact on me. It was recommended to me by a blog writer that I used to email with before I started my own blog. It was an online novel, not sure if that counts, I think one of the things that impacted me most was that it was set in my city, the man's friends were like many of my friends. I remember not wanting the love story to end. That gave me a view of what life could be like. Through complete coincidence, the main character's first experience with love happened in the same place as me. I forgot the title, it wasn't a prize winning story but it affected me in a positive way.

 I read The Joy of Gay Sex. I liked the matter of fact way it presented itself. It was one of the first books that I read where not only did they "not"  tell me gay men were sick people, it actually was saying, "you're gay, here's how to have fun with that"! The drawings were some of the first man on man images I had ever seen. I remember also reading a book by a man who came out in the seventies and his experiences, then I shut down my gay side and completely ignore it for years. I do remember once or twice going to an adult store and buying magazines with more pictures of man on man love. I was so homophobic that I wouldn't buy them in my city, I would get on a bus to cross a river into another city on the other side, wow I feel sorry for that kid, to be so frightened. I remember as well, coming home one night and the apartment was supposed to be empty; however my sister and her friends were there, they were playing around and as I walked towards my bedroom, one friend grabbed me. I was so frightened, I was holding a paper bag with gay porn magazines inside, one peek and I felt my life would be over! I managed to get away and recover from my near heart attack. The funny thing is it would have been fine, some of those friends were gay, they were keeping that from me!

 I have watched movies with gay themes, again not that many lately, I should correct that. I also think one reason for not reading many books regarding the gay community is finding this blog world. I can't tell you how much it helped me in my coming out. Also it would be boring to read about what living as a gay couple might be like, when I was reading about and friends with, actual gay couples who wrote about their day to day lives. It was shocking at first, "you mean gay couples actually do laundry and shop for groceries, just like other people do"! I loved reading about the everyday stuff at first, I would picture myself cuddling up on the couch with someone to watch tv after just having supper. If society becomes open and inclusive towards gay people, how odd that coming out books will be obsolete, they will be stored away somewhere and a little gay kid will find them and be shocked by what his gay elders had to fight for.





 As a side note, I just saw a trailer for a new movie coming to theaters, it seemed to be about a young man coming out to his family and starting his gay life. I missed the title but it looked like it might be good. I didn't know gay people still come out, I thought that wasn't trendy anymore, I thought I was a dinosaur for having gone through that.