Global warming, shmobal borming.

 What global warming? Look, fake news, hype, conspiracy, new world order! Okay just because it was snowing two weeks ago and then went straight into a solid week of being in the high twenties Celsius (80s Fahrenheit) and now we are entering into a solid week of 30s Celsius (90s Fahrenheit) doesn't mean it's climate change. I mean we often have boiling temperatures with extreme heat warnings before the leaves are out on the trees. Umm, actually no we don't.

 This spring I kept texting my friends that I was worried about extreme weather this summer. March was unusually beautiful, normally that is when I have to clear snow from the yards the most. This year I think I only had to plow snow about four times in all of the month of March, the beginning of April was also unusually pleasant. The end was cold but only because the jet stream came down for a week. I worry because we have extremely high humidity in spring and summer, now with extreme heat and extreme humidity we are quickly becoming a mini tornado ally, I already hate storms, in 2013 we had a tornado, it came close to the buildings, I will never forget the feeling of helpless fear as it approached, I will also never forget the sound. I know it's going to come back for revenge, it certainly did not help with my storm anxiety.

 I kept saying the summer would be hot and that worried me. I don't argue with people, climate change is real, actually I jump down their throats, I can't stand people insisting on ignoring facts. Here we are, it's the end of May, two weeks ago it was snowing and now we are hitting record temperatures... but the insane thing is these temperatures would normally only be seen around here at the end of July or beginning of August. I can remember hoping for a heat wave in summer like this when I was a child. Many summers we didn't reach that high of temperatures, ruining our ice cream and swimming days.

 The leaves are not even fully on the trees yet, it hasn't rained in almost two weeks. Instead of everything being a beautiful lush green for spring, the lawn is burned up already. I've never seen a brown lawn at the end of May, looks like crap, the only green are the weeds. We went from me not sowing a garden because the ground was too cold and damp, to frying the soil into dust, but hey... climate change is fake news because we had this exact situation in 19never. Unfortunately they say we have reached the tipping point, even if everyone stopped using any kind of energy, it would probably take about two hundred years for things to even begin to go back to normal.

 It's only May 26 and the humidity is already so high at nine in the morning, that I feel like I'm suffocating.